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July 24, 2014

Celebreality

The Twelve Days of Festivus: Three reality disasters

by Michael Pascua, posted Dec 21st 2009 11:00AM
Families from There Goes the NeighborhoodOn the third day of Festivus, TV gave to me ... three reality disasters!

For every good reality show that emerges, there are several horrid shows green-lit, giving reality television its negative light. I could have gone for days talking about tons of reality shows that were disastrous. Jon and Kate Gosselin became national disasters, but even their show had some merit watching a now single Kate deal with her family.

Here are three of the worst offenders of 2009, from least to most disastrous. Oh, and if you're wondering why a certain VH1 show that had Ryan Jenkins as a contestant isn't on the list, don't worry; we'll get to that later this week.

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Best and Worst TV of 2009: Michael P.'s list

by Michael Pascua, posted Dec 20th 2009 3:08PM
Kelly and Isaac host The Fashion Show
A year has passed and there has been a lot of best and worst lists here at TV Squad. I know tons of reality television shows have grazed my TV so I've compiled a list of the best and worst reality shows of 2009.

Finding the best shows are easy, but it's hard to pare down the worst list. I define "worst" as shows that had potential and never did anything with it. While shows like I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here and anything involving the words "Real Housewives" aren't mentioned, they aren't the worst because they started at rock bottom and had nowhere to go. Several of the worst shows I've mentioned could just go through some tweaking and it could have been amazing.

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The Jackson Family reality show debuts in December

by Allison Waldman, posted Nov 7th 2009 5:02PM
jacksons_4Reportedly, before Michael Jackson died suddenly in June, his brothers – and other family members – were putting together a reality show for A&E. After all, celebrity reality shows have a certain appeal, especially train wrecks like Being Bobby Brown or Hey, Paula. Not that the Jacksons were thinking that way. I'm sure they envision something classy and edifying.

Since Michael's death, the interest in this miniseries has escalated, much like the interest in all things Jackson. Will the brothers talk about Michael? How much? Will Michael's children be included in the show? All that and more will be answered when The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty debuts on A&E December 13, at 9 p.m. The plan is for two hour-long episodes to kick off the series.

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Carnie Wilson's reality show will be on... GSN?

by Allison Waldman, posted Oct 21st 2009 12:05PM
carnie_wilson_tvReality is not relative when it comes to television. Reality television, my friends, is here to stay. So when I let you know that GSN will air Carnie Wilson: Unstapled, a new reality show starring the former singer from Wilson Phillips and the host of The Newlywed Game, you shouldn't be surprised. At least not about another celebrity reality program. The fact that it's going to be on GSN -- that's the Game Show Network -- however, that's a bit of a shocker.

GSN has fallen in love with Carnie Wilson. Kelly Goode, GSN senior vice president for original programming and development, gushed about CW, saying, "Carnie is incredibly funny and earthy. ... She's a personality the viewers have fallen in love with. And she's a hit on The Newlywed Game.

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An open letter to Kevin Federline

by Michael Pascua, posted Sep 22nd 2009 2:26PM
Did anyone actually watch Chaotic?Dear Kevin,

I've recently read on VH1's blog that you were going to be on Celebrity Fit Club. I have a problem with this: you are not a celebrity. Sure VH1 may stretch the definition of "Celebrity," but having a resume that includes backup dancer and being on WWE doesn't suffice. I don't care if you were married to Britney Spears; you're not married to your meal ticket anymore.

I've recently Googled pictures of you and boy did you let yourself go. Maybe you should stop drinking beer. You shouldn't be on Celebrity Fit Club, you need to be on The Biggest Loser. Not only does the title fit you better, you need a smack down from Jillian Michaels.

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As Lindsay Lohan ponders a reality show, I remember when she had a career

by Jason Hughes, posted Aug 29th 2009 5:32PM
Lindsay Lohan in Labor PainsDo you remember the good old days? The innocent times when Lindsay Lohan was an up and coming young movie star. She received critical acclaim for those early roles. She was beautiful and voluptuous (and you know how the kids love that!). Then she got into drugs, drinking, partying, weighing less than 90 pounds, and it all kind of fell apart. Since then, she's cleaned up her act a bit.

Which is great, Lindsay. But Lindsay Lohan in a reality show? You do know what kind of celebrities appear in realty shows? Do you think Whitney Houston and Britney Spears were at the heights of their careers when they did their amazing stints in reality television?

Speaking of Brit-Brit, LiLo is working with her manager on the project. Hopefully not the same guy that helped develop Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. The series is intended to follow Lohan as she attempts to get her career back on track.

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After Ryan Jenkins mess, VH1's president talks of a different direction

by Jason Hughes, posted Aug 28th 2009 1:03PM
Megan Wants a MillionaireI paraphrased that title, but you'll see what I mean. And it's damage control more than dissatisfaction with what VH1 has become, considering ratings are higher than ever. Still, after the murder/suicide of one of their reality show participants, something had to be said. So Tom Calderone, the president of VH1, told the LA Times that the network doesn't want to be known for infinite spin-offs of their Flavor of Love and Surreal Life types of shows. Which means skanks and hos.

Which is exactly what they're known for. Before this Megan Wants a Millionaire/I Love Money debacle, they had no problem with it. Ratings were up, proving that there are people out there who will tune into all those atrocities to the senses.

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Tony Danza's teaching project shut down in New York, relocates to Philly

by Jason Hughes, posted Aug 21st 2009 5:08PM
Tony DanzaI've been following the progress of this for a little while. A&E has been working with Tony Danza to follow him as he spends a year teaching 10th grade English. Originally set up in Yonkers, New York, the show was shut down after the pilot was shot when the New York school board pulled out of the project. Adrift and without a home for awhile, the team stuck at it until Philadelphia came on board this past Wednesday and agreed to host the show.

This isn't a spoiled celebrity getting up to antics, though; Danza is serious about being a good educator to these kids. Before he got into acting, he procured a degree in education. In other words, this is a real-life documentary about a first-year teacher. He just happens to be Tony Danza.

The teaching profession is one of the most underpaid and under-appreciated professions in this country, so I applaud Danza for stepping into that arena so sincerely. I'm already more interested in his struggles in this arena than I will ever be about the pampered whining rich brats of [insert so many show names here].

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Was the idea for Shaq Vs. stolen?

by Bob Sassone, posted Aug 18th 2009 8:30PM
Andy Roddick Beat Me With A Frying PanTonight is the series premiere of ABC's new celebrity reality competition whatever show, Shaq Vs. But if one guy gets his way, you won't see it.

Author Todd Gallagher says the idea for the show was stolen from his book Andy Roddick Beat Me With A Frying Pan. That's not an accusation of assault against the tennis star, the book was about Gallagher challenging people to sporting competitions if they gave him an advantage in some way. Roddick used a frying pan. I haven't read the book but I would love to see him play golf against Tiger Woods, with Woods having to use a giant ladle.

He says that William Morris Endeavor wanted to turn his book into a TV series last year but then went ahead and did it anyway, changing the name to Shaq Vs. Since the show airs in 30 minutes, I'd say he won't be able to stop it, at least this week.

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Mad Men debuts huge, but almost gets beat by a couple of Kardashians

by Jason Hughes, posted Aug 18th 2009 5:09PM
Mad Men (top) / Kourtney & Khloe Take MiamiSometimes ratings can paint such interesting portraits of the American audience. Mad Men set a series high and ranked as the top show on cable Sunday with its third season premiere. And yet, its victory on the night was only 0.1 million viewers over the premiere of E!s Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami.

Those K&K numbers make it the new highest premiere on E! since The Anna Nicole Show premiered. A record briefly held by Kendra's premiere earlier this summer.

So one the one hand we have one of the most deservedly acclaimed television shows of the past decade, and right there with it, running neck and neck, is yet another reality spin-off featuring rich people who are only famous because ... they're famous. I blame Paris Hilton. She was one of the first people who got famous for doing absolutely nothing.

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Oh no it's The T.O. Show

by Bob Sassone, posted Jul 7th 2009 3:38PM
For those of you who just can't get enough of Terrell Owens on The Superstars, he has (wait for it) a reality show coming to VH1, because they're aren't enough reality shows with celebrities in them on TV right now. It debuts on July 20, which happens to be the 40th anniversary of men landing on the moon. Now history will have two important events to celebrate on that date.


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VH1 keeps tarnishing my cherished celebrity memories

by Jason Hughes, posted Jun 30th 2009 9:02AM
Rozanda Salt-N-Pepa and TLC. Two of the most significant and important female R&B groups of the past 25 years. Why couldn't it have just stayed that way? No, VH1 just had to drag members from both groups into their sick "looking for love" reality world. That's right, Pepa and Chilli are looking for love, on VH1 with a camera crew and eight half-hour episodes. Somehow I have a hard time imagining either of these women having a hard time picking up guys.

Can I just say to all the other celebrities out there who are looking at this as a good thing, just stop right there. Do you think people are respecting Bret Michaels for his music these days? He's more famous for whacking his head on a stage. If the music dries up down the road, I don't want to see Beyoncé and Justin Timberlake hawking themselves all over VH1 to try and find love. Not to mention: have they seen the kind of people these reality shows find for you to fall in love with?

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Why did I waste an hour watching The Superstars last night? - open thread

by Bob Sassone, posted Jun 24th 2009 8:02AM
The SuperstarsIt could have been worse. It was a 90-minute premiere.

There was a time when I would have watched a show like this, in the 70s or maybe the 80s, when real celebrities would be involved instead of reality show stars. They were fun shows. I watched the first 60 minutes of The Superstars and then sort of snapped out of it, thinking, why am I watching this? Nothing really happened, and I decided I wouldn't care at all if anything did happen. Who cares if Jennifer Capriati loses a bike race?

Wipeout is mindless entertainment. The Superstars is stupid entertainment.

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The results are in, and you voted Speidi off of E!

by Jason Hughes, posted Jun 23rd 2009 2:02PM
Spencer Pratt & Heidi MontagSo E! ran a poll to see if their viewers wanted the network to stop covering the train wreck that is Speidi. Okay. Sure, that's fun. And by a startling 94% margin you have spoken, and you don't want E! covering Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag anymore. Even more surprising is that E! has agreed to follow this edict by their viewers and limit Spiedi stories only to life-altering or -ending events.

I think the celebrity-fueled tabloid news networks and magazines should look at these results and think about it. Speidi has been fueling many gossip stories the past few weeks, and here we find that nearly 100% of people don't want to hear it. And E! fans are gossipy fans to begin with.

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Stop Ryan Seacrest for Lindsay Lohan's sake

by Allison Waldman, posted Jun 21st 2009 6:07PM
ryan_seacrest_american_idol
Somebody has to stop Ryan Seacrest. Please. I mean it. He's going too far. Seacrest tweeted that he is talking with Lindsay Lohan about her own reality show. Presumably it'll be in the vein of Ryan's other reality star vehicles, Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Notice that I didn't say it would have the same quality as those other shows because if you've ever watched more than an episode, you know that quality is not a requirement. Manipulation, mugging and broad fake emotions are all that's necessary.

So, Lindsay Lohan, heed my warning: stop talking to Ryan Seacrest. No good will come of it.

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