CSI: New York

Dear television viewer:

In an effort to further drain you of all your energy, tonight's episode of Extremely Popular TV Drama will involve a cliffhanger to be resolved next week on an episode of That Other Extremely Popular TV Drama which airs on a different night and time.  We hope you enjoy.

Your friends, The Insane Network Executives.

Am I the only one who hates this? For whatever reason, it really bugs me when TV worlds collide. I just can't deal with the notion that, just maybe, Jack Bauer and Sydney Bristow work down the street from each other. Someone who works on a much higher floor than me thinks this is great idea though. Joel briefly mentioned them in his Festivus post from a few weeks ago, but I've got a whole rant in me.

As I mentioned in one of my other posts a day or two ago, I think this show has gotten a lot better since the removal of Aiden and addition of Lindsay. That doesn't mean I like Lindsay. I don't, she seems way too out of place. But the shuffling has opened it up for Mac, Stella, Danny, and now Doc Hawkes. Last night's episode had the two best cases of the season so far. A stripper who likes wrestling in KY-Jelly is found cooking on a giant spotlight and a crazy bazillionaire (I know it isn't, but that should be a number) is discovered murdered in his bedroom.

So I've got to admit, I watched Grey's Anatomy this week because of my last "Convince Me To Watch It" post, and you know what? I loved it. I'm glad I gave you all the opportunity to sway my habits. So, since I'm going to have even more time now that Arrested Development is canceled (come on NBC!) and Curb Your Enthusiasm wrapped for the season, I thought I'd give you guys another chance to prove yourselves.

I would love to know who decided that roller derbies were fun to watch. It's a step up from NASCAR, but it's still just a bunch of silicon jobs on wheels in both cases. However boring the sport may be, it sure makes for a great crime scene when one of the derby girls (known as She Hate Me) is apparently trampled during a match.

This one made me roll my eyes. This Wednesday's CSI: NY will feature product placement in the form of a ring tone. That's right: a ring tone. Sometime during the show (maybe more than once?), investigator Danny Messer's phone will ring to the tune of Talk by Coldplay. The next commercial break will feature spots that show viewers how they can get that same Coldplay ring tone for their phones. For one week, the only way to get the Coldplay ring tone is to text message the number that CBS is going to air. After that, it'll be widely available. The deal is with CBS and Capitol Records so, of course, Coldplay is going to get more than a few seconds of a tinny ringtone. The song, Talk, will also be featured as background music later in the episode. I'm going to watch the actor (Carmine Giovinazzo) really close to see if a little piece of him dies when his phone goes off.

Two great cases tonight, but as a result of them being so good, they were both chock full of details. Mac, Lindsay, and Danny are working on the death of a doll doctor. The man owned the premiere doll hospital in NYC and apparently people from all over the country would send him their Barbies for repairs. Now I'd just like to say that dolls freak me out. They're always so damn happy, even when they don't have a body attached to them. And when a whole bunch of them are lying on top of a corpse... ugh, dolls. Hate 'em. On the other side of the city, Stella, Doc Hawkes, and Flack get a call when a diner waitress is found dead in her bed. As I mentioned, both cases were packed. So methinks the best way to tackle this is to look at the episode in two separate parts.

Gary Sinise was recently named the official spokesperson of the US Disabled Veterans Life Memorial Foundation. The foundation has sought since 2000 to build a memorial for disabled veterans in Washington. Sinise's connection to Vietnam is that he pretended to be in Vietnam in Forrest Gump. He represents all those who fake-fought and fake-died and fake-lost limbs in battle. At any rate, the foundation hopes the CSI: New York actor will help them raise the $65 million needed to build the monument.

It's that time of year again. Networks go to great lengths to hijack your eyeballs in order to set higher advertising rates for themselves. They bring in celebrity guest stars, kill off your favorite characters, and have girls make out (did anyone see The O.C. last February?).

Hello, sweeps.

Nobody does overexposure quite like Madonna does overexposure. Her new single, "Hung Up," will be featured on CSI: Miami on November 7th. And just in case you miss it then, two days later it's going to be on CSI: New York. I think I might be one of the only people who haven't heard this song yet, so I'm eagerly waiting to see how it will work as a soundtrack to dead, rotting, maggot-infested corpses.  

President Bush has scheduled an all-network, national speech tomorrow night at 9PM, and you know what that means. Television chaos during premiere time, that's what. CBS will air the season premiere of Survivor on schedule, though the CSI finale repeat will move to next Wednesday. And because of that, the premiere of CSI: New York will be pushed back to September 28. Fox's next episode of Reunion will push back to next Thursday, which will put it opposite the premieres of CSI and The Apprentice.

International polling firm Ipsos recently conducted a poll of one thousand adults, with results indicating that the majority of adults think there is too much reality on television. And by "reality" I don't mean news shows. 80% of the respondents thought there was too much reality TV on the air, with only 4% saying there wasn't enough (who are they and what island are they living on?). Another question asked related to which TV show they were most anxious to see return in the fall. CSI: New York topped the list, though, shockingly, Stacked got no votes.

[via Cynopsis]

CSI creator Anthony Zuiker thinks that the reason CSI: NY isn't doing as well as it could is because the show is too gritty and dark, so look for big changes this fall in an attempt to lighten up the show and make it more viewer-friendly.

Look for more episodes involving puppies, wacky neighbors, and a really funny episode where Gary Sinese has two dates for the same night...with twins! 

Visiting my folks in Texas over the Mother's Day weekend, and boy-howdy do they have some things to say about television! Here's the lowdown from "Ma and Pa America" (their choice of moniker, not mine. I wanted to call them "Mr. and Mrs. Fussy Pants.")

Pa on Wheel of Fortune: "I tell you, that Vanna White. She looks like she been rode hard and put up wet. They need to find a new chick for that show. She's been around forever."
Ma: "[rolling eyes] Your father won't let me watch Wheel anymore because he doesn't like Vanna White. But it's my favorite show!"

Pa on the Overstock.com commercial: "Have you seen that one? That commercial for "It's all about the O?" Man I am so sick of that. [imitates sexy lady voice] Ooooh, it's all about the gold! It's all about the outdoors! That thing comes on every five seconds. I can't stand it."
Ma: "Yes, it really is getting very tiresome."

Ma on CSI: "Oh! I hate all those CSI shows! CSI Miami, CSI Las Vegas, CSI New York. There's too many! And they're so procedural, severed heads and cutting people up, and then they're always in the lab fussing over DNA or hair samples. Why cut all those people up when all you need is a hair sample? Chopping people up and looking into microscopes. So gross."

Well put, Ma, well put.

There's an exclusive interview with Anthony E. Zuiker over at fan site CSI Files, where the CSI creator discusses the future of the CSI: New York series. In particular, look for Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise) possibly becoming romantically involved with recurring character Jane Parsons (Sonya Walger) and more New York-centric stories. Zuiker's idea of a "very New York story": "We're going to do the murder of a Red Sox fan." Yowch.

Wednesday is rapidly becoming a hard night to keep track of. I really don't understand why we can't spread some of this goodness to Monday night. The debut of the critically praised Eyes comes to ABC at 10 p.m. EST. This is the private-eye show featuring Tim Daly. When was the last time we had a good private-eye show? The light-hearted nature might make it outshine CSI: NY and Law & Order. Having a lead-in of Lost and Alias doesn't hurt either. West Wing's chase for the White House continues and keeps us wanting more. And of course on Fox we have new That 70s Show and American Idol elimination show. TiVo will be getting a workout tonight.