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July 24, 2014

Food Network

A disturbing collection of Rachael Ray's Mmmmmms

by Joel Keller, posted Mar 26th 2007 1:40PM
Rachael Ray enjoys her food a little too muchBefore Rachael Ray was all over the planet and the known universe, I used to watch her on the Food Network's $40 a Day. On that show, Ray Ray would visit a different city and see if she could eat three great meals with only forty bucks in hand.

As you'd expect, she succeeded (let's just say she wasn't the most generous tipper), but that wasn't the most interesting part of the program. What was most interesting was the disturbingly orgasmic reactions RR had to the food she was eating at each restaurant. The reaction was exactly the same, no matter what she was eating: eyes closed, she'd moan "Mmmmmmm" for the exact same length of time, open and roll her eyes back into her head, then smile. Cute the first time, it felt pretty creepy after the first dozen or so episodes.

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Bourdain takes on the Food Network

by Julia Ward, posted Feb 12th 2007 11:09AM
Anthony BourdainNice guys will always finish last while Anthony Bourdain is on the scene. If you don't the know the chef turned best-selling author and Travel Channel host, than you've been missing out. Bourdain brought gonzo to the kitchen, or out of the kitchen as the case may be. His first tome Kitchen Confidential was a Hunter S. Thompson-inspired machismo trip through the world of haute cuisine. Chefs are bad asses in Bourdain's world of sex, drugs and rock and roll. They are the magic men (and the occasional woman) who conjure the sacred from the profane. The journey between the raw and the cooked is not for the feint of heart.

Now that Bourdain's got a few seasons at the Travel Channel under his belt, it's no surprise that he should feel compelled to hold forth on the relative merits of food on television.

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Space Shuttle crew to Rachael Ray: Yum-o!

by Richard Keller, posted Dec 7th 2006 9:00AM

Rachel Ray -- Space ExplorerIt's no secret that the hyperactive Rachael Ray has her hands in a little bit of everything. She has a number of hit shows on the Food Network, a daily talk show, numerous cookbooks, her own magazine, and a upcoming CD of holiday music (not sung by her, just chosen by her). Now, she is taking her on her biggest challenge: outer space.

No, she's not launching her own line of spaceships (although, powered by her own energy, those craft could probably get to Mars in two weeks). What she is doing is having her meals taste tested on the next space shuttle mission, which will hopefully be launching this evening if everything goes as planned. Yessir, the crew of the Discovery will be testing out three of Rachael's signature dishes. And there's a pretty good guarantee that one of them (or all of them) will contain some EVOO as an ingredient (that's Extra Virgin Olive Oil to the rest of you).

Rachael Ray is not the first TV chef to have her meals adapted for space flight. Emeril Lagasse has had a number of items on the menus of both the space shuttle and the International Space Station. In fact, according to Dr. Michele Perchonok, manager of NASA's Space Foods System Laboratory, Emeril's spicy green beans and rice pudding adapted quite well to zero gravity conditions. I wonder if one of Rachael's stoups (not quite stew, and not quite soup) will fare as well.

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Have a happy Alton Brown Thanksgiving!

by Anna Johns, posted Nov 16th 2006 6:34PM
roast turkey; alton brownIf you're worrying about how to do Thanksgiving a week from today, I highly recommend trying Alton Brown's Thanksgiving recipes. His roast turkey is spectacular! We've made it for friends for the past five Thanksgivings, and this year we're making it for family. The two keys to the turkey are: 1) brine, and 2) don't stuff it! The stuffing sucks the moisture out of the turkey and of course there's the whole threat of food poisoning (Brown has an alternative 'stuffing' recipe). The first time we made this turkey, we were blown away. I never knew that white meat could be so moist and full of flavor! Plus, it only takes four hours or so to cook rather than all day.

To understand how Alton makes his turkey, your last chance to watch his special, Romancing the Bird, on Food Network is on November 23rd at 11 am. If you can't wait that long, the full transcript of the show is here. There's also an Alton Brown Fried Turkey recipe on YouTube.

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Ray vs. De Laurentiis on Iron Chef America

by Julia Ward, posted Nov 3rd 2006 10:25AM
Rachel RayTwo chefs enter. Only one will be left standing. The reigning queens of food porn Rachael Ray and Giada De Laurentiis will go head-to-head on the November 12th edition of Iron Chef America.

Rather than have to handicap Ray's game, the Chairman will be pairing up both ladies with one of the Iron Chefs. De Laurentiis with Bobby Flay. Ray with Mario Batali.

Alright, the Chairman is actually doing all the fancy pairing because the Food Network told him to, but Ray would get trounced otherwise. Nothing against Miss 30-Minute Meals, but De Laurentiis has some serious skills care of Paris' Le Cordon Bleu and Wolfgang Puck.

Here's hoping the secret ingredient is the tears of failed homemakers.

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Here are your television tricks and treats for this Halloween

by Richard Keller, posted Oct 23rd 2006 12:23PM

HalloweenBoo! Did I scare you? Well, if I didn't that's okay. I'm not much into scaring people since I gave Uncle Barry that heart attack at last year's Halloween party by putting a bloody finger into his apple-tini. Eh, Barry deserved it; he was always a putz. And constantly asking for money. I mean, one time . . .

Sorry, wandered off for a bit there. What was I talking about? Oh, yes, scaring people. There's really no need for me to scare anyone this upcoming Halloween since my good old friend television can do it much better. In fact, now that there are so many channels to choose from, you can watch hours of blood and gore and ooze into the wee hours of the morning while noshing on all of the 'good' candy that your children bring back (this would be anything from the Hershey or M&M/Mars family of candies).

So, to make your life a bit easier while you come down from that sugar buzz, we here at TV Squad have provided you with a comprehensive list of Halloween-themed programming that will be airing on from about dinnertime on October 31st into the first of November. It's all there, from the Halloween and Friday the 13th films (and their numerous sequels) to Halloween-themed Roseanne episodes, to classic Vincent Price movies such as House of Wax. We even mention Dark Town, which airs at 3:15 am on Wednesday, November 1st. In Dark Town a lesbian and a gangbanger team up to battle vampires. Gosh, what will the entertainment industry think of next?

The complete (or as near as complete list) can be seen right after the scary jump. Ooh!

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Ask TV Squad: Are cooking shows on DVD?

by Anna Johns, posted Sep 26th 2006 12:19PM
emeril lagasseTV Squad reader, Steve, likes to cook with celebrity chefs. He says watching a recipe on television is "easier to understand than just reading in a cookbook." And, if you ask me, he probably likes the friendly company of Emeril, Rachael Ray and Paula Deen. But, recording cooking shows on VHS is a pain. To find his favorite pizza recipe, Steve would have to search through the tape. He asks TV Squad: Are there any DVDs/CDROMs of celebrity cooking shows?

Yes and no, Steve. There are, but I found surprisingly few.

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Album deal for Rachael Ray

by Anna Johns, posted Sep 22nd 2006 9:01AM
rachael rayDon't worry. She's not singing. Because that would be the answer to the question, "What's more painful than watching Rachael Ray?" The cook/talk show host is teaming up with Epic to create soundtracks. Ray says the soundtracks are music that she would listen to or play at a party. Her first soundtrack will be a Christmas album, followed by a kids album. They're called 'How Cool is That Christmas CD', to be released on October 10th; and 'Too Cool for School Mixtape for Kids', to be released on October 31.

Related:
The Five: Favorite Food Network shows
Rachel Ray sweeps the nation

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Food Network hopes Paula Deen will attract younger viewers

by Bob Sassone, posted Aug 24th 2006 2:00PM

Paula DeenYeah, I'm confused by that headline too.

Since there are so many changes at Food Network (Rachael Ray devoting more time to her syndicated show, Molto Mario being canceled, the ratings dropping for many of their top shows), the channel is trying to attract younger viewers and challenge competitors by introducing Paula's Party, which Post-Gazette.com describes as "more Romper Room than Cooking With Master Chefs."

Sorry, but that sounds ridiculous to me. Deen is a kind, 59 year-old Southern woman. I don't want to see her talking about sexy footwear (as she did during an episode taping), officiating crab races (as she did during an episode taping), or interviewing rapping skateboarders who wear iPods (OK, that hasn't happened yet, but give the show time).

Then again, the article above says that Deen smokes cigarettes and named her crab "Cocaine Connie," so this could get interesting. Like some wild, nutty grandma who also knows how to cook. But I'm not convinced this will work.

If they're not careful, Food Network will turn into the MTV of cooking channels: a cooking channel that actually has very little cooking on it.

[via TV Tattle]

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Pop quiz: is it a porn star, or Food Network star?

by Bob Sassone, posted Aug 3rd 2006 2:59PM

Food Network?This is pretty funny. Pictures of various males and females in the middle of what looks like ecstasy. But you have to figure out whether it's ecstasy from being in a porn film or if it's a Food Network star who has made some meal that is especially delicious. (Might be slightly NSFW.)

I scored really well, actually. I only missed one. Damn you, Ham on the Street!

[via Boing Boing]

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Alton Brown injured on set of new show

by Bob Sassone, posted Jun 19th 2006 10:01AM
Alton BrownI'm not even sure when this happened, so it's probably not "breaking news." We told you a while back about Alton Brown's new TV show on Food Network, Feasting On Asphalt, where he will travel around the country on a motorcycle and sample various foods. Now comes word that Brown might have taken the title a little too literally, as he was involved in a rather serious motorcycle accident. He hit a ditch near Las Vegas, got thrown off the bike, and broke his collarbone.

Info about the accident here in a piece Brown wrote for the New York Times, and there's a pic at Brown's web site.

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Why does Al Roker torture himself?

by Joel Keller, posted May 13th 2006 11:29PM
Al RokerI just got done watching Al Roker's Diner Destinations on the Food Network; in the show, Al visits diners all over the country, including a couple in my diner-heavy home state of New Jersey. During the show, he makes huge burgers, pastichio, and other dishes that would make a cardiologist woozy.

But he doesn't eat any of it. Why? Because Al's had a stomach the size of an egg since he had a gastric bypass operation in 2002; if he did partake in more than a few bites of any of the high-fat meals he cooked on the show, he'd likely get violently ill.

So why does Al continue to do specials like this? I mean, I'm not a skinny guy myself; just the sight of all that yummy greasy food was sending me to the refigerator (don't worry, I got an apple... honest). I can't imagine the willpower he had to exert being around all that stuff in person. Maybe it's the "if I eat this I get sick" incentive, but I can't be sure. One thing I do know, however; if I were Al, I'd stay away from the food and do specials about weather or something.

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Are you ready to feast on asphalt?

by Bob Sassone, posted May 12th 2006 8:39AM
Alton BrownAre you a big fan of Alton Brown's Good Eats like I am? Well, get ready to feast on some asphalt.

That's the name of his new, limited run show on Food Network, Feasting On Asphalt. Brown will jump on his motorcycle and check out places to eat in America.

The show will run for four episodes, and will start on July 29 at 9pm.

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