Of all the e-mails and comments we get here at the fictional TV Squad HQ, the ones we see the most -- besides the ones that think we're a bunch of hacks who don't deserve the pay we get -- are ones that ask us how a person can get on one of the numerous game or reality shows that are on the air right now.

I have to tell you, we're flattered that you folks think we have the inside connections within the television industry that will be allow us to fast-track our readers onto shows like Survivor or Deal or No Deal. But, alas, we're just a bunch of grunts like you; we don't have a "guy" who can get us through the back door of these shows. In fact we don't even have a "guy" who can get us a discount at the car wash.

But what we can do for you is comb the web to find the various instructions on how you can get on these shows. And, no surprise, the networks have made those instructions readily available on the web. After the jump is the list of links we found so far. We'll update this list as we find more shows and instructions. And feel free to send us ones you've discovered either via our tips e-mail or in the comments section below. Enjoy and good luck...

*If you haven't watched this week's 24, don't read this post. Period.*

While I'm still recovering from my dire disappointment over a Logan-less 24 hour -- following on the heels of last week's fruit-filled episode -- here are four moments to muse until the next installment of the Jack Bauer hour:

Quote of note: Chloe O'Brian wins this category again this week. (This gal gets some of the best lines.) When Chloe unceremoniously locked lips with her ex, Morris "Drill Bit" O'Brian, in the middle of CTU, he asked her why she kissed him. "Just checking your breath," she replied, nonchalantly, confirming that Morris hadn't been hitting the bottle. At least not recently.

Every day in this business, I hear ideas for TV shows and movies that blow my mind. Just when you think you've heard the oddest idea, along comes another one to top it.

Here's the latest. Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man) and comic Jamie Kennedy are going to star in a pilot for FOX titled Me & Lee? That's not a question, that's the actual title of the show. The plot? Kennedy plays a guy with severe chronic back pain who goes to the secret lair run by Majors (who will play himself) underneath his Beverly Hills mansion. It houses a lab that Majors built after becoming interested in bionics after his show ended years ago.

Um...wow.

This could be the sign of a "bionics" comeback. As you've probably already heard, NBC and the people behind Battlestar Galactica are making a new Bionic Woman, with Michelle Ryan in the lead role.

[via TV Tattle]

The YouTube phenomenon is certainly making for some interesting business arrangements. It seems like every "old guard" media company is either striking deals with YT to make sure their content is legally shown on the service. But now that Google is in the picture, it seems like companies are banding together to fight the online behemoth and create their own product. Some companies have done both.

Take NBC, for example. Last year they struck a deal with YT to create a channel for them to place legal clips of their shows on the service. But now, they've decided to join forces with News Corp., the owner of the FOX network, to create an online video site to show TV shows and movies from both companies. The networks will leverage their content partnership deals with Yahoo, MySpace (owned by News Corp.) and our corporate benefactors at AOL to distribute and link to the videos. This LA Times article goes into the details.

Some guy sang some song. What was his name? Oh yeah, it's Peter Noone. Then, some lady, who looked smoking hot for a 60-year-old, sang some unknown song. What was her name again? Had to rewind that one too to remember it was Lulu. Finally Stephanie gets voted off, and I only remember her name because I realized last night that up until then I still had no idea who she was. And that about sums it up for me tonight.

I have a good memory, I swear!

I'm extremely into '60s music. When they started reading off the British band names last night, I got pretty green with envy. I tried so hard to get Van Morrison and Beatles songs cleared for television, but only got shot down time and again. Apparently not much has changed since then, given the fact I didn't recognize any of those songs with the exception of maybe two or three.

(S06E23) So, 30 million votes were cast last night. And here's what we're told:

• Phil, Melinda, and Blake ARE NOT the bottom three.
• Chris S, LaKisha, Jordin ARE also NOT in the bottom three.
• Sanjaya, Haley, Gina? Nope, NOT the bottom three.

Which only means one thing:

• Chris R and Stephanie ARE the bottom two.

It also means that Sanjaya IS in the Top 10 and will join the Idols on tour. Is this a victory for Vote for the Worst and Howard Stern? Or is it really a victory for the Idol producers who can now count on Sanjaya's teenybopper fans shelling out loads of cash to see him live and in concert?

(S02E16) Here's the first thing I thought of when Seely Booth was chasing down that potential suspect, the one who paid for the Chinese bride whose skeleton was forcibly removed from her skin: 'Gee, Angel would have caught him in a second!' This came to mind because the scene was so reminiscent of something you would have seen on Angel, with people running, flipping and jumping across buildings. The difference here is that Booth isn't as agile as Angel was. Well that, and the fact that Booth isn't an immortal vampire with a soul. Still it would have been cool to see.

Good episode this week, with a lighter tone than normal. Not too light, though, because it's fairly hard to be light-hearted when your show features as much gore as this show does. It just seemed that everyone was a bit more amusing than normal. .

FOX has officially announced today that Prison Break would be back for a third season. But many sources say that the show will get a major overhaul, including a possible change in the show's title.

The FOX's press release announcing the renewal gives nothing about what Season 3 may hold. But series creator Paul T. Scheuring has been giving many hints, including at least one that may have fans shake on their seat hoping that the creator changes his mind.

No matter what, Prison Break was never intended to be a long-running series. At first, people behind the show though it could last three seasons being laid out as follows: Season 1 = in prison, Season 2 = on the run, Season 3 = back in prison; but that the best plan was surely only two season. However good ratings have made FOX order a third season. With how they mapped the second season, which includes wrapping up most (if not all) of the storylines, Prison Break needs to reinvent itself and here is how they plan to do it.

(Warning! Spoilers about season 3 coming up!)

Dennis Haysbert told the Philadelphia Daily News that not only did he regret filming the assassination scene in last season's 24, but he's also not keen on this season's installment of the counter-terrorism thriller.

Haysbert -- who played President David Palmer on 24 but now stars in CBS' The Unit -- came back to 24 to film Palmer's assassination, something he says he now wishes he hadn't done. "It was a device that I didn't think was necessary," he said.

Haysbert also criticized his former show, saying he thinks that the program may have lost its way. "I started to watch it this season, and, you know, I'm just a little disappointed in its direction," he told the Daily News, adding that, although he's still a fan, "the politics has been skewed in a very, very right-wing way."

Gina, this one's for you. You were almost in tears up there and you mentioned how nasty blogs get you down, so I thought I'd throw you a nice one. I want you to stick around for a while.

Don't become a parody of yourself. Inevitably every year as contestants hear more and more about what people like and dislike about them, they try harder and harder to live up to whatever that is. Then, usually it gets to the point where it's blatantly obvious to the audience, and they stop caring about what made you cool in the first place. I think last year's winner and his low record sales are evidence of that.

Don't trip out; you don't have to try too hard to be a rocker. You already have that vibe, so just sing whatever you have to from week to week and it'll come out. That's about as much rock as Idol will let you have anyway.

(S06E22) Tonight was an important night for the remaining 11 Idol finalists. The Top 10 get to go on the Idol Tour all summer. The guy (or girl) who is voted off tomorrow only gets to go back to their boring job or school. So, there's a lot at stake.

Before things get started, Randy says he's expecting the contestants to "bring their game" tonight. Paula advises them to "shake out their nerves . . . have fun . . . and picture Simon not dressed." Simon has only one question for Paula: "Is that what you think about?" Yeah, is it, Paula?

Did the contestants bring it tonight? The judges and Ryan sure think so. They love just about everyone and they give out lots of heaping praise. I'm not as overwhelmed as the judges, mostly because I find these two-hour shows to be brutally long. I swear that by the second half of the show, I've pretty much forgotten who's already performed. Good thing I take such meticulous notes.

With the TV news networks dedicating major portions of their broadcasts this week to the fourth anniversary of the beginning of the war in Iraq, a New York Times TV critic says that the war, as well as issues related to terrorism and torture, have become major themes on American television, ranging from dramas like 24, to comedies like Saturday Night Live.

"Television shows process news events much faster than ever before but not much more directly than they did at the time of Hogan's Heroes, M*A*S*H or China Beach," critic Alessandra Stanley wrote, noting that a failed FX program, Over There about soldiers in Iraq "turned a war into entertainment as it was still being fought."

There's not too much information on it just yet, but FOX has ordered six episodes of Anchorwoman, a new comedy that will mix both reality and scripted elements as it focuses on a super model who returns to Texas to become a TV anchorwoman, because, who wants to listen to an ugly woman report the news? Not me. In fact, I was once almost killed in a tornado because I refused to listen to the average-looking news woman telling me to seek shelter. I now have half a dead chicken embedded in my skull, I can't do basic math, and sometimes triangles make me cry, but I think it was worth it.

Where was I? Oh yeah, not much information, but I like the idea of mixing two genres together. I'll save judgment until more information pops up about the series, but the basic premise alone has me intrigued.

It's time to talk about the latest Idol Conspiracy Theory. This one goes a little like this: the phone lines are blocked (possibly intentionally, probably not). But text messages get through no matter what. Cingular has an exclusive deal with Idol, which allows only their customers to vote by text message. Cingular customers, therefore, may have an unfair impact on this contest.

Text messaging has become increasingly popular in the last couple of years. And this trend is reflected in Idol voting. In three years of Cingular-sponsorship, the number of text message votes has risen from 7.5 million (in 2004) to 41.5 million (in 2006).

As long as phone problems persist, and text message participation continues to rise, this controversy over the voting process will only fester and grow each year.

*Spoilers from new episode ahead*

There's a long history of 24's CTU agents being accused of traitorous behavior, of being taken into custody and tortured because the panicked higher-ups think they've been up to no good. So before we muse on whether this season's selected CTU analyst -- Nadia Yassir -- is being unfairly detained, let's review what's been done in past seasons:

During Jack Bauer's first very bad day, CTU analyst Jamey Farrell was accused of collaborating with terrorists. After being brusquely questioned, she was found dead in a CTU interrogation room. Jamey did admit taking money from a bad guy in exchange for intel, but the single mom said it was purely about getting money to help raise her son. CTU agent Nina Myers was the true CTU turncoat, and framed Jamey by killing her and making it look like a suicide.