How I Met Your Mother

I didn't know that Slate was keeping a weekly "Shame Index" for How I Met Your Mother, a regular column where they go over each episode in fine detail and list what the show does "awesome" and what the show should be ashamed of. You're probably wondering, what could the show possibly do to be ashamed of?

Basically it comes down to either 1. lame jokes or 2. being too much like Friends. I'm not a regular viewer of How I Met Your Mother (I did love Friends), so I have absolutely no opinion on the matter at all. They do point out the plot from last night's episode where they tried to quit smoking, saying that Friends did that several times with Chandler Bing's character over the years and that was funnier and HIMYM copied too much from Friends.

What do you think?

(S05E11) You know you have a good episode going when Harvey Fierstein is cast as one of the female character's "smoking voices," and that's only the third funniest thing that week.

Sure, it was great to hear Harvey's painful-sounding voice coming out Alyson Hannigan's mouth after a few days of smoking. It seems like it would fit well with her character; you know that she's only a few years from calling people "dollface," whether she's smoking or not.

But what carried the episode was seeing a new side to the gang that we haven't seen before, and how they all deal with it. Oh, and it was also good to see some new footage of Ted's kids, even if they're both visibly older.

If there was one guy on the New York Yankees championship team this past season who would be best described as a "character," it's outfielder Nick Swisher. This guy always had a smile on his face like he knew he had landed in a cushy spot and was happy about it. Well, he's done it again. Swisher will be guesting on How I Met Your Mother, playing a really complicated role -- himself.

On the February 1 episode (tentative date), Swisher appears at MacLaren's Bar. The episode is called "The Perfect Week" and Nick shows up at the bar, competing with Barney for the attention of the ladies. Barney, reportedly, is not thrilled that a guy with World Series swagger is on his turf.

I finally, and with great difficulty got the tree up, I've somehow gotten roped into holding a cookie exchange at my house this weekend, and I have glitter in places where glitter should not be. What's that smell? It smells like Festivus to me. While the main thing I want this year is to just lie very, very still in a dark room for a week or so, this is a TV blog, so let's talk about what TV could do to make me happy!

• Stop with the long hiatuses already! I don't get to see a new episode of V until March, and I'm being forced into leading a Glee-less existence until April. Give it up already! If you have 3 months between new episodes, it's a new season, why not call it that? You know what I have been doing for the past 11 weeks? Watching the first 11 episodes of Dexter. This week, I will be watching episode 12, and then the season will be over. It's efficient and satisfying. The networks need to get on board.

(S05E10) I'm really starting to think that Carter Bays was telling the absolute truth when he told Mike Ausiello that the writers threw the Barney-Robin relationship into the trash heap. He wasn't being coy about a future plotline; I get the feeling that the writers wanted Single Barney over Relationship Barney and wanted to make sure they got there as quickly as possible.

Why else would we see an entire episode of Barn trying to get laid while wearing Marshall's old overalls? Here's the problem, as others have mentioned: we've seen how much of a good guy Barney can be. So seeing him back to his old tricks seems a bit emptier than it used to, doesn't it?

This looks like something a fan made up on the web but it was actually created by CBS. It's to promote the upcoming airings of Frosty the Snowman and Frosty Returns, as well as How I Met Your Mother. Is there anything Neil Patrick Harris isn't in these days?

You know, it's funny. When I started here I was a lowly IT guy with no girlfriend and lots of time on his hands to watch TV, even on Thanksgiving. Now I'm engaged, the editor of this site, and have to run around to so many family and friend-related events this weekend my head's already spinning just thinking about it. So I have a lot to be thankful for (and I just realized how friggin' long I've been here... wow).

But TV has always been a part of that equation, and it had no less of a role for me this year. So, in the TV world, here is what will make me thankful as I dive into the turkey tomorrow:

ABC's Wednesday comedy line-up: Against all trends, ABC rolled the dice and started a whole new night of comedy on Wednesdays. And while Hank flamed out, The Middle, Modern Family, and Cougar Town look like they have staying power, both from a quality and a ratings standpoint.

(S05E09) Let me start off by stating that any HIMYM episode involving the famous slap bet between Marshall and Barney is going to be funny. Just the act of Jason Segel's exaggerated slapping and Neil Patrick Harris' equally exaggerated pratfall in reaction is enough to get me rolling. I just wish the slaps weren't telegraphed so much in advance.

You have to remember that tonight is a sequel to the original Slapsgiving from two years ago. As sequels go, it's not bad; not as good as the original but satisfying nevertheless. But you knew at some point, Marshall was going to say "That's four!" and Barney was going to rub his face. So we have to examine the journey to get there. That journey started off well, but got a little predictable. Still didn't make the slap itself any less funny.

(S05E08) Could it be that, after the whole season five build-up to the Swarkles relationship, everyone would more or less go back to normal by episode eight of season six? It seems that way, and I don't know how I feel about it.

Relationship Barney wasn't that pleasant to watch. Some of his patented awesomeness tried to come through but he was increasingly becoming a content guy, which is no good for comedy. But to see him immediately snap back to the way he was pre-Robin was equally jarring. Maybe that's the way it has to be for Barney ... I don't know. But, as funny as the exploration of Barn's playbook was, it felt like the last two dozen or so episodes never happened.

Oh, and it seems like Robin's quickly moving on too, so it's not all on Barney ...

So last night I sat down for some laughs with the CBS Monday night sitcom lineup. It's a weekly thing I do with my spouse, a chance to get away from the computer screen and just relax for a while. Normally, I relish this time because -- for the most part -- I love 75% of the shows from eight o'clock till CSI: Miami. (I usually empty the dishwasher during Accidentally on Purpose, sort of half-watching it because, as I've said before, it's just not working for me.)

Well, it seemed like last night's CBS comedies went off the rails. They strained to be funny, in all the wrong ways. Here are my thoughts, show by show -- including Accidentally (which I did watch):

(S05E07) During most episodes of HIMYM, you tend to forget that this whole show is told from the perspective of Old Ted, who's telling his kids the longest, most boring meet-up story in history of the world. Bob Saget's narration often just goes in one ear and out the other, like the background music. But there are some episodes where the storytelling aspect of the series is firmly in place, with the exaggerations, changes, and bad memories often associated with this activity.

This was one of those episodes. Was Barney really that fat? Was Robin really that haggard? Did Archisexture really accidentally "fly" into Ted's VCR? Of course not. But those whoppers from Old Ted were what made this episode so entertaining. That and Alan Thicke. But Alan Thicke always makes things entertaining; he's Alan Thicke, for crissakes.

(S05E06) The thing that always amazes me about this show is that how Old Ted is perfectly content to tell his kids about all the tawdry things he or Barney did back in those heady days of the mid-to-late-'00s, but every so often he realizes who he's talking to and substitutes a clean term for a dirty term. I'd imagine this inconsistency is done on purpose by Bays/Thomas and their writers; why have Old Ted pull back on his stories unless there's a laugh to be had?

This is how we got the references to "sandwiches," for instance. And this is how we got the running joke about bagpipes tonight. I liked how it was just a joke in the background and didn't really reference any major story. The major stories, though, were both pretty funny this week.

The candy manufacturers had better watch out, because as Halloween is approaching, TV shows have been coming up with their own candies, inspired by some of the more colorful, interesting characters. Take a look at this list, and see which are treats and which are tricks. And, listen, tell us what kind of candy your favorite TV characters might inspire!

8. How I Met Your Mother - Robin Scherbatsky's Canadian corn
Oh, Canada. Slutty pumpkins aside, Robin had to convince her American friends that Canada not only celebrates Halloween, but Canadian corn is the best Halloween candy ever. That's right, Canadian corn. It's like candy corn, only it's orange on the top and white on the bottom. It also tastes like pancakes because it isn't made with corn syrup; it's made with maple syrup.

Rules are meant to be broken... especially for these ten television characters. For them, the rest of the world has one standard to live by and they have another. It makes them interesting and fun to watch... you just wouldn't necessarily want to be the person having to deal with them because they could drive you to distraction. Here's my ten pack of characters who live in a world of their own, according to no rules except their own. From the not-too-bad to the really bad.

10. Patrick Jane, The Mentalist
You would think that as a consultant to the CBI -- California Bureau of Investigation -- Patrick Jane would be compelled to uphold the rules and regulations of the department. However, Jane is a free spirit when it comes to office protocol. He does his own thing. For instance, bugging the office of a CBI higher-up is definitely not kosher. Jane doesn't care; he did it anyway and will probably get away with it.

(S05E05) Sometimes an episode of HIMYM is full of "mythology" advancement. Sometimes it explores the romantic relationships between the characters. Sometimes there's a goofy website or video to accompany the episode. But sometimes, HIMYM just tells one or two semi-isolated stories. Last year, many of those episodes weren't all that great. But this season is different; everything's been funny, including the mostly silly episode we got tonight.

Which reminds me... I have to figure out where to get a hold of some Tantrum. That stuff is more powerful than 12-Hour Sudafed.