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October 4, 2015

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Battle

by Wil Wheaton, posted Feb 12th 2007 10:53AM
Star Trek TNG the battle Title: The Battle
Original Air Date: November 16, 1987
Teleplay By: Herbert J. Wright
Story By: Larry Forrester
Directed by: Rob Bowman
Episode: S01E09
Stardate: 41723.9
Synopsis: On an order from Starfleet (official directive #9: Justify the Plot of the Show), the Enterprise has rendezvoused with a Ferengi ship in the Xendi Sabu system, famous across the entire galaxy for its delicious paper-thin slices of Targ, cooked at your table in boiling water and served with tasty noodles.

However, it's been three days since the Enterprise arrived, and the only message they've picked up from the Ferengi ship is, "Stand by, Enterprise." That's an awfully long time to be listening to music on hold, but Picard knows that his starship will be hailed in the order it arrived, and jumping to warp speed and coming back will only lead to further delays, so he waits.

This is where we come in, and we discover Picard in his quarters with Dr. Crusher. He is extra cranky and has a mysterious headache. It's so mysterious that even Dr. Crusher doesn't know why he has it, and she wants to give Picard a special examination. However, before the porn music can begin, Riker calls Picard to the Bridge; the Ferengi are ready to talk.

Picard arrives on the Bridge and talks with the Ferengi DaiMon Bok, who seems to know Picard. Picard doesn't remember him but wants to know why he requested a meeting and kept the Enterprise waiting for three days, and why in the world they chose Chicago X as their hold music, because "If you Leave Me Now" is cool once, but every 38 minutes for three days is a little much.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: Encounter at Farpoint (Part II)

by Wil Wheaton, posted Jan 9th 2007 10:41AM
encounter at far pointTitle: Encounter At Farpoint (Part II)
Original Air Date: September 28, 1987
Written By: D.C. Fontana and Gene Roddenberry
Directed by: Corey Allen
Episode: S01E02
Stardate: 41174.2

Synopsis: When we last left our heroes, the Enterprise had just entered orbit around planet Deneb IV, so that's a pretty good place to pick up the action, as an Excelsior class ship (in this case the USS Hood) pulls away from the Enterprise, giving us a sense of just how goddamn big this spaceship is. It's a cool shot -- so cool, in fact, we reused it about 900 times over the duration of the series, with different planets (or no planet at all) put into the background.

Picard walks onto the bridge, and before he can find out the Hood's reply to his taunt bon voyage, mon ami (which loosely translates into "suck my balls, assmaster" in 24th century starship captain slang), Q appears on the main viewscreen. Worf leaps to his feet, propelled by his Klingon instincts, and draws his phaser. Luckily, before he can fire, Picard (and the entire audience) point out that all he's going to do there is blast a hole in the main viewscreen. (It is at this very moment that the Big Dumb Stupid Old Worf drinking game is born, one of the only Star Trek drinking games to span two series and at least four movies.) Q gives Picard 24 hours to have his Encounter at Farpoint, or be summarily judged by Captain Q's Kangaroo Court, where he faces death beneath an avalanche of ping pong balls.

Eleven of the 24 hours pass, and we find Riker and Picard getting ready to head down to the planet to meet Groppler Zorn, and have some of those tasty-but-mysterious apples Riker keeps ranting about. Picard then introduces Riker to the ship's counselor. As she walks down toward them, she projects some of her thoughts into Riker's mind, and calls him "Imzadi," which is Betazoid for "Backstory red herring that never really goes anywhere for seven years but finally pays off (sort of) in the last movie when Riker gets Worf's sloppy seconds, but let's not go there because 'ew gross.'"

They all head into the turbolift, and Picard says, "Hey, I think it's great that you guys know each other, because it's important for my key officers to know each other's abilities." Troi says, "We do, sir," and Riker and Picard subtly high-five each other as the turbolift doors close.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: Encounter at Farpoint (Part I) (series premiere)

by Wil Wheaton, posted Jan 3rd 2007 12:06PM
Title: Encounter At Farpoint (Part I)
Original Air Date: September 28, 1987
Written By: D.C. Fontana and Gene Roddenberry
Directed by: Corey Allen
Episode: S01E01
Stardate: 41153.7

Synopsis: The Enterprise, which is huge and beautiful and majestic, cruises through space toward the camera, and Trekkies who have waited since the 60s to have new Star Trek on television let out a mighty cheer. The camera zooms in on a darkened window, where her captain -- the second bald man to command a starship called Enterprise -- steps out of the shadows and gazes at the stars. In voice over, the captain, Picard, says that they're heading out to "the unexplored mass of the galaxy."

Picard heads out on a tour of this spiffy new Galaxy Class starship, through engineering and up on the bridge, while he tells his log (and the now tearfully celebrating Trekkies) that the ship is huge, isn't entirely filled with crew just yet, and is on its way to Farpoint Station, where they'll pick up their new first officer and absolutely nothing else of interest will happen.

Wait. Of course something interesting will happen! They're supposed to solve the mystery of Farpoint, but before the ship can even reach its mysterious destination, a more pressing mystery presents itself: the mystery of the giant mysterious CGI net that the ship can't pass . . . mysteriously.

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G4 moving to ST:TNG 2.0 next

by Joel Keller, posted Dec 8th 2006 12:33PM
Star Trek: The Next GenerationAfter sucessfully strip-mining every unknown piece of information about the original Start Trek series, our friends at G4 have decided to do the same thing with The Next Generation.

Earlier this week, TrekToday.com reported that the network will show all seven seasons of ST:TNG in their patented "2.0" format, with the episode sharing the screen with trivia, behind-the-scenes information, a live chat, and a stock ticker (I can't explain that one; you'll have to see it). They'll also be keeping track of the "Picard Maneuver" -- how many times a crew member tugs down on his or her uniform when he or she stands up -- among other statistics. G4 will start airing ST:TNG 2.0 on January 15 at 9 PM.

I'm sure the folks at G4 will do a fine job with this. But they don't have Wil Wheaton working for them. I mean, as far as behind-the-scenes info and wise-ass reviews are concerned, how much better can you do than using someone who was actually on the show? Wil's been doing a helluva job with his Next Generation reviews, so I'd say check with us first before watching a 2.0 episode. You'll have double the fun.

[via tv filter]

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: Justice

by Wil Wheaton, posted Dec 5th 2006 12:03PM
Title: Justice
Original Air Date: November 09, 1987
Written By: Worley Thorne
Story By: Ralph Wills and Worley Thorne
Directed by: James L. Conway
Episode: S01E08
Stardate: 41255.6

Synopsis: After dropping some human colonists off in the Strnad solar system, the Enterprise notices a rather nice Class M planet in the nearby Rubicun system, called Rubicun III. Picard sends an away team down to the surface to find out if it's a good place for some shore leave, and they return with some very good news: it's clean, it's beautiful, it's populated with friendly humanoids . . . and they really like to do the nasty.

"At the drop of a hat," according to Geordi.

"Any hat," Tasha says, knowingly.

Picard sends a second, larger team down to the planet to see exactly how many hats they're going to need. Because every responsible Starfleet parent would want to send their children down to the galaxy's longest running planetary orgy, he orders Wesley Crusher to see if the planet is a good place for kids to hang out.

After beaming down to the planet, the away team quickly learn three important facts:
  1. The planet's inhabitants, called the Edo, like to jog everywhere.
  2. They are all beautiful blond models, possibly descended from some sort of Maxim/FHM breeding program in the late 22nd century.
  3. The entire planet is clothed in about 6 yards of fabric.
The Edo's leaders jog up and meet the away team, greeting them in the traditional Edo manner: lingering glances and inappropriately long hugs. Troi says, "I'm sensing a lot of boners, Commander."

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: Lonely Among Us

by Wil Wheaton, posted Nov 14th 2006 12:31PM
energy cloudTitle: Lonely Among Us
Original Air Date: November 02,, 1987
Written By: D.C. Fontana
Story By: Michael Halperin
Directed by: Cliff Bole
Episode: S01E07
Stardate: 41249.3

Synopsis: Two alien races, the Antican and the Selay, wish to be admitted to the Federation, so they can get the discount card and the cool bumper sticker that comes with the welcome packet. But before they can join the club, they have to learn to play nice with each other, because in the enlightened future of Star Trek, only people who get along with each other can be in the United Federation of Planets. In order to work out their differences, delegates from each planet hitch a ride on the Enterprise to the Parliament planet, which is in the nearby Funkadelic system.

On the way, Data's sensors pick up a giant energy cloud, which really shouldn't be there, because the Enterprise is traveling at warp speed. Picard decides to slow down and take a quick look.

Meanwhile, Geordi and Worf are doing some maintenance on the ship's sensor systems. I'm sure nothing unusual will happen when the ship's sensors scan the energy cloud, right? Oh! Wrong. The ship scans the cloud, and big blue bolts of energy zap right out of the the wall and into Worf, knocking him to the ground almost as easily as every other adversary Worf will encounter for the rest of the series.

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Wil Wheaton's not the only one with ST:TNG memories

by Joel Keller, posted Oct 30th 2006 1:32PM
Diane DuaneAfter fellow Squadder Wil Wheaton put up his latest Star Trek: The Next Generation review, about the episode "Where No One Has Gone Before," he got the requisite huzzahs from our Trek-loving commenters. But he also received a bit of a surprise in the comments: a response from one of the co-writers of the episode, Diane Duane.

People who are animation buffs know Diane pretty well already; she has written for cartoons as diverse as Scooby and Scrappy-Doo (let's just hope she wasn't the one who came up with Scrappy) and the Batman animated series. But her first foray into live-action series writing was with this episode of ST:TNG, and she recounts the story behind it on her blog. It's an interesting illustration of how the script the episode's writers originally conceive doesn't usually come close to what ultimately reaches the screen.

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Star Trek The Next Generation: Where No One Has Gone Before

by Wil Wheaton, posted Oct 27th 2006 7:22PM
enterpriseTitle: Where No One Has Gone Before
Original Air Date: October 26, 1987
Written By: Diane Duane and Michael Reaves
Directed by: Rob Bowman
Episode: S01E06

Stardate: 41263.1

Synopsis: The Enterprise meets up with the USS Fearless, an Excelsior class starship that has just had its warp engines totaly spiffed out by an engineer named Kosiniski, who also drew some totally cool flames down the side of the warp nacelles when he was done putting baseball cards in the engine's spokes.

Starfleet wants Kosinski to hop onto the Enterprise, and see if he can trick out the engines of the Federation's flagship, so the Federation can win the big drag race against the Romulans down in the Dry Riverbed Galaxy after school gets out. Picard is totally cool with this, but Riker isn't as convinced that they need to stick a foxtail on the antenna. He tells Picard that Kosinski sent some specs over, but they're totally bullshit. Data backs him up with a surprisingly brief and to the point explanation. Picard gets really pissed that Riker is questioning his authoritah, but lets Riker take Counsellor Troi with him to the transporter room to check out Kosinski when he arrives.

When they get there, Troi, and Riker join Chief Engineer Argyle in an 18mm "it's the end of they day and we have to get this before the producers pull the plug" three shot as Kosinski arrives, steps off the transporter pad, and reveals to everyone that he is an epic douche. We also meet Kosinski's assistant, who tells us that his name is unpronounceable by humans, an awesome Star Trek device that makes its first of many appearances on Next Generation.

Kosinski whizzes on Riker's leg a little bit to mark his territory, sniffs at Argyles butt, and goes to engineering to work his totally awesome brand of warp drive magic. When he leaves, Troi tells us that he's loud and arrogant. (Riker must be so happy he brought her along for that deep and difficult to observe insight.) But she then adds that she doesn't feel anything from the mysterious assistant, like he isn't even there. (This theme is widely repeated in Troi and Riker fan fiction on Usenet.) Eerie music swells up, so the slower kids in the audience know to be worried, and for the really slow kids in the audience, Riker says that the safety of the Enterprise is in their hands.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Last Outpost

by Wil Wheaton, posted Oct 10th 2006 12:07PM
star trek tarrTitle: The Last Outpost
Original Air Date: October 19, 1987
Written By: Herbert Wright, from a story by Richard Krzemien
Directed by: Richard Colla
Episode: S01E05

Stardate: 41386.4

Synopsis: The Enterprise is chasing a Ferengi ship, in an effort to retrieve a T-9 energy converter, which the Ferengi stole from an unmanned monitoring post on Gamma Tauri IV. This gives the Federation a chance to make their first contact with a species that they know almost nothing about.

The mood on the bridge is tense. Rumors about the Ferengi are numerous, and include some terrifying suggestions: they eat humans, they're big and scary, and they have really huge wangs.

The Enterprise makes visual contact with the Ferengi ship just before it enters the unexplored Delphi Ardu system, and slows to sub-warp speed. This prompts Data to suggest that they're having engine trouble. Thanks for that incredible insight, Mr. Data.

Worf announces that the ship is in full visual range, and Picard orders maximum enlargement on the viewscreen. This reveals a ship that sort of looks like a croissant, which Picard says is an "impressive design." Ah, the joys of writing and filming reactions before the models are done.

Some expository dialogue ensues, with Data telling Picard (and the audience) that Ferengi and Federation technology is at about the same level, but that we are "advanced in some areas, they in others." Man, Data is just full of insightful information, and we haven't even seen the credits, yet!

There are a few power surges, and the Ferengi ship fires at the Enterprise! Luckily, the shields hold, and the blasts bounce harmlessly off. Everyone wants to return fire, except Picard, who says that the Enterprise should just chill out for a minute, because its close pursuit may have harshed on the Ferengi's mellow.

The Ferengi ship turns around to face the Enterprise, and now it does look kind of cool, sort of like a little croissant attached to a bigger croissant, like maybe a sausage croissandwich. Mmmmm . . . croissandwich.

The Enterprise begins to close on the Ferengi ship, which makes Picard -- who is already a little cranky -- a little more cranky. Geordi says that he isn't even touching the gas pedal, and that his foot is securely on the brakes. Since there is no farmer's market in sight and Geordi is in his 30s, it's reasonable to believe him.

Before Picard can get really cranky, the ship begins to lose power, and Picard trades crankiness for concern. Riker says that they've clearly underestimated the Ferengi's technology, and it's pretty clear that the Enterprise is in for some serious shit as the credits roll.

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Star Trek auction a huge success

by Brett Love, posted Oct 8th 2006 10:12AM
Star Trek EnterpriseChristie's auction house wrapped up the first auction of official Star Trek memorabilia on Saturday. To say it was a success would be a huge understatement. Almost all of the items sold for more than their pre-sale estimates, and the final take of $7,107,040 was more than double what was expected.

Models and miniatures were the big winners. A model of the Enterprise that was used in the Next Generation series and the Generations movie went for an astounding $576,000. It was estimated to sell for $15,000 to $25,000. Eight other items in the models and miniatures category also managed to sell for more than $100,000. The top costume was a space suit worn by Dr. McCoy in the original series episode "The Tholian Web", going for $144,000.

The History Channel streamed the auction live on their website, but if you missed it, they also filmed everything for a future documentary. You can find more info about other items that sold in the Washington Post article.

[ thanks Evadne ]

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Brent Spiner: "I don't think I should play Data anymore."

by Joel Keller, posted Sep 11th 2006 5:55PM
Brent SpinerAccording to ComingSoon.net, Brent Spiner, who played Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation and associated theatrical movies, has ruled out a return to the role in the new Trek movie, which will be directed by J.J. Abrams. It's not that he doesn't think the movie, tentatively titled Star Trek XI, is going to be any good. He just thinks he's too old for the role.

"There certain characters that I think work in a youthful way and I think I really skated along the edge in the last couple movies as it was," he tells Simon Thompson of BANG Showbiz. Of course, he also jokes that he'll play the android again if the money is right. I think that's the same joke Leonard Nimoy made before Star Treks III through VI, and we all know how that turned out.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Naked Now

by Wil Wheaton, posted Sep 8th 2006 6:51PM
Tasha Yar, Drunk and Horny in The Naked NowTitle: The Naked Now
Original Air Date: October 5, 1987
Written By: John D.F Black and j. Michael Bingham
Directed by: Paul Lynch
Episode: S01E03

Stardate: 41209.2

Synopsis: The Enterprise is on her way to rendezvous with a science vessel called Tsiolkovsky. Tsiolkovsky is collecting data from a supergiant star, which is about to collapse into a white dwarf.

When the Enterprise arrives, the crew discovers that something isn't right on board the Tsiolkovsky, as a woman's voice broadcasts from the ship, "Well, hello, Enterprise, welcome. I hope you have a lot of pretty boys on board, because I'm willing and waiting. In fact, we're having a real blowout here."

A real blowout indeed! The crew hears that great big sucking sound Ross Perot will mention years later during the NAFTA debate, but it takes the crewmembers out into space, instead of jobs out of America.

Geordi, Tasha, Riker and Data make a quick trip to the Tsiolkovsky, where they confirm that the crew had a sexy party which ended with all of them in various stages of undress and death. Geordi examines a sonic shower, and a frozen woman falls into his arms. Geordi doesn't know it, but he's just been infected with the Tsiolokovsky disease. He also doesn't know it, but this is the closest he'll get to holding a woman until season three. Unfortunately, when he finally does, she'll be just as frigid.

When they return to the Enterprise, Geordi is clearly in Bat Country, and while Doctor Crusher tries to figure out what the hell is wrong with him, he begins to spread the infection around the ship.

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