It will all happen on February 22: Oprah, the most powerful woman in the known universe, will share the small screen with Ellen DeGeneres, the funniest woman in the universe with the name "Ellen DeGeneres," when Ms. Winfrey appears on The Ellen DeGeneres Show for the first time.

I'm here to tell everyone that we cannot allow this to happen.

Who knew that even people in China want to know who Anna Nicole Smith's baby daddy is?

TV Week is reporting that NBC Universal Television Distribution has licensed the format of Access Hollywood to a Chinese television network. It is the first time a foreign studio show has been licensed to show in the People's Republic. The show will be called Access Hollywood China; it will be shot and produced in Beijing, and the local content-to-U.S. content ratio will be 70-30. So yes, that means the Chinese might be seeing Billy Bush annoy the hell out of celebrities, but dubbed into Mandarin (or Cantonese if it's being shown in the southern part of the country). The show's big local star? Asian actor and supermodel Hu Bing, whom I was very disappointed to find out was a guy when I Googled his name.

If you've been wondering where Pat O'Brien was the first few days of this month on The Insider (luckily I don't have to worry about such things anymore as I've stopped watching the show), the host fell and hit his head. He had to get stitches and was out for three episodes of the show. He hasn't said much about the accident, except that he fell and got hurt, and no one at Paramount is saying anything either.

This is the part of the post where I would normally talk about his past drug use and bizarre voicemails and drinking, but all that probably had nothing to do with this accident so I won't even mention it.

O'Brien is back on the show, reporting on Anna Nicole Smith's death.

[via TV Tattle]

Oprah's Book Club is back. Like a phoenix from the ashes of the James Frey debacle, Oprah has returned, and this time she's got a veritable saint by her side in the form of acclaimed actor and activist Sidney Poitier. When your book club's burned by a guy who made a bunch of crap up, what better way to go than with the autobiography of a person who has lived most of his adult life in the public eye. It also doesn't hurt that the guy's golden. Short of some cantankerous ghostwriter coming forward, Poitier and his autobiographical tome The Measure of a Man are beyond criticism. He also lacks any particular literary pretenses so he's not going to pull a Jonathan Franzen, who requested that his book The Corrections be struck from the Winfrey record.

Diss her Oprah wannabe ways. Shame her production company's union-busting agenda. Recoil at her transformation into a finger-snappin', head-rollin' drag queen. But, don't say that Tyra Banks is anything short of fearless. In People Magazine's February 5th issue, Banks reveals her actual weight, which has fluctuated between 148 and 162 pounds since she quit modeling in 2005. Banks was upset when unflattering photos of her in a bathing suit appeared online after a Sydney vacation with such headlines as "Tyra Banks is Fat." "It was such a strange meanness and rejoicing that people had when thinking that was what my body looked like. It was really hurtful to me." Banks says that she's "not the healthiest eater" and "not required to live up to that model standard anymore."

You're right, Tyra. You're not required to live up to that standard anymore so the next time you decide to go online do it from on top of a big pile of money that you earned modeling - beer in one hand, Hot Pocket in the other. If it would make you feel better to do something nice for someone else, you could always give your writers health insurance.

Ellen DeGeneres has a new friend named Gladys, an 88-year old woman from Austin, Texas who is quick as a whip. At least, that's who she seems to be. But this Texas newspaper columnist thinks something is fishy. She and her co-workers tried to contact Gladys Hardy and not only could they not locate her, but they found out that the same 'Gladys' is a regular caller on some Texas morning radio programs. And she has a website. That's awfully prolific for an 88-year old woman. When the Texas reporter called Ellen's people, they said they've enjoyed their chats with Gladys but might not call her again.

How did this all come about? Well, 'Gladys' left a hilarious message on Ellen's company voicemail about the placement of a plant on the set and Ellen returned her phone call on air. She's talked to her once again since that episode and even invited Gladys to the show, but she declined. Hmmmm.

A clip of her talking to Ellen is after the jump. I think it's an actor/comedian who has duped Ellen. Watch it and tell me if you think Gladys is a fake.

And the world yawns as syndicators announce they've canceled The Greg Behrendt Show. But they're not pulling the plug immediately. According to TV Week, production will continue for the short-term and possibly through the end of the season but it will definitely be gone by the fall. Sony Television says it dropped Behrendt because he's creepy and has no business hosting a talk show. I kid! Actually, the majority of subscribing stations opted not to renew it in favor of The Steve Wilkos Show. Who is Steve Wilkos? He's a bouncer on Jerry Springer and his show is on fire with affiliates.

Other syndication casualties this year include The Megan Mullally Show and Geraldo at Large. Do the changes improve daily television viewing choices? Eh. Probably not.

Steve Wilkos, the tough security guard who keeps rednecks from getting too feisty on The Jerry Springer Show now has his own gabfest. NBC Universal Domestic Television Distribution recently sold the syndicated series to stations owned by Tribune and Sinclair. The show is still untitled, but look for the former marine and cop to offer his own brand of tough love and sound advice.

You may be asking yourself why the hell you should listen to advice from Wilkos. The real question is, why should you take advice from anyone on television? It's not like Oprah knows you any better than Wilkos does. Really, the only person on television you should trust is the Hamburger Helper glove. When he says he can make beef more exciting, I believe him. He's never steered me wrong before.

The Rachael Ray phenomenon will stretch at least through the end of this decade. Her syndicated talk show, which premiered last fall, is renewed through 2010. No surprise, really, considering how popular she is. A survey done by King World last year found that she's the "most likeable television host" we have right now, with Paula Deen, Ty Pennington and even Oprah trailing behind her. Although, I have to agree with Bob's assessment that the woman is just plain exhausting.

Bob and I are evidently in the minority, however. Rachael's show is the highest-rated syndicated talk show since Dr. Phil debuted in 2002. According to TV Week, her show averages a 2.1 rating and is consistently ranked among the top five talk shows on television. So far, one-third of the country has signed on to carry Rachael Ray through 2010.

Burnim-Murray Productions and October Moon Television are attempting to sell a new comedy game show for syndication. The series, called Laugh Off, would give unknown comedians a chance to compete in different contests centered around stand-up, improv, charades and mime. If watching people you don't know perform mime is your idea of a good time, then keep your eyes on your local listings.

When I first heard about this, I thought of Comedy Central's short-lived game show Make Me Laugh that featured established comedians trying to make contestants laugh. That series only lasted one season, and earlier versions from 1958 and 1979 didn't fare much better, either.

Yet again, we are reminded of the awesome power Oprah has over all of us.

A man in the UK who was raped along with his sister in the '70s (his younger brother was also molested) did not confront his abuser until 1995, attacking the alleged pedophile by punching him and stomping on him. A trial is currently underway, during which the jury was told the victim decided to confront his attacker after seeing an episode of Oprah about victims confronting those who had hurt them in the past. The man who abused the three children was a teenager at the time. It wasn't until 2005 that one of the brothers went to the police about the abuse they had all suffered as children.

[via Digg]

I was going to say that this is the best news I've heard today, but then I remembered that I don't watch this show (or Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood) anymore, so I don't really give a crap. But any news that makes sure someone like Pat O'Brien is seen on television less is probably a good thing.

Inside sources are saying that O'Brien's contract with The Insider will not be renewed when his current contract is up in June. O'Brien's current salary is $4 million.

Now the question is whether or not O'Brien will go back to sports full-time. I was crushed when I saw him on CBS' tennis coverage last summer and I hope he doesn't return to that. Come on readers, help Pat out. What's the best job for the soon-to-be former Insider host?

[via TV Tattle]

In case you missed it, BET will be airing episodes of the HBO series The Wire, a show that is so popular it's my favorite show of all time, even though I've never seen a single episode. That's right, it's that good.

When I mentioned it before, I wrote that some might not be that interested in seeing the show in syndication, since that means some things will have to be cut out. It is true that in order to meet standards certain elements will have to be trimmed, but BET won't be chopping important bits out just to squeeze in more commercials. Instead, the BET version of the series will run an hour and a half, rather than just an hour. I have to say, that's a pretty cool move on the part of BET, and it might just sell the idea to viewers who were iffy about watching it on anything else but HBO.

If you don't have Comedy Central, you just might have a chance to catch two of the network's series anyway when both Reno 911! and Chappelle's Show go into syndication this fall. Of course, one would assume these episodes will be edited for syndication, either for content or to sandwich in more commercials, which is one of the reasons I never bother to watch the syndicated version of South Park. Still, it's another chance to catch these shows, and that's not a bad thing at all. The two series are the first to be syndicated through a deal between New Line Television and MGM.

Comedy Central has also picked up Reno 911! for a fifth season, and the movie Reno 911: Miami will hit theaters next month.

The gals who sit in the studio audience at Oprah can be brutal. One former audience member is suing Oprah's production company, claiming she was injured in the mad dash to get a good seat. Tayna Milner said she was pushed down some stairs at Harpo Studios in Chicago before a taping on April 11th. Milner is seeking more than $50,000 in damages for unspecified injuries, as reported by the Chicago Tribune. She is claiming that Harpo employees failed to keep control of the crowd of 40-something mothers with makeovers and cardigan sweaters (okay, I made up that last part).

This whole story goes along with how I picture Oprah's audience when it's not being taped. I always imagine women pulling each other's hair and dumping out their purses in the fight to get a good seat.