Talent

• Charlie Rose: Richard Holbrooke and William Kristol
• The Daily Show: Thomas Ricks
• The Colbert Report: Ramesh Ponnuru
• The Late Show With David Letterman: Samuel L. Jackson and Gnarls Barkley
• Jay Leno: Will Ferrell, Everclear, and Abigail Breslin (repeat)
• Jimmy Kimmel Live: Matt Dillon, Justin Long, and Ziggy Marley
• Late Night With Conan O'Brien: Barbara Walters, Jon Heder, and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (repeat)
• The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson: Nick Lachey, Chi McBride, and Lili Taylor
• Last Call With Carson Daly: Anna Paquin and Matchbook Romance (repeat)

The ESPN sports show host (and subject of that lame Jason Alexander sitcom from a couple of years ago, Listen Up) makes his debut tonight on Monday Night Football, a preseason game between the Raiders and the Vikings, and he's a little worried about it. As he says in a not-so-subtle way in this New York Times piece, "I'm going to bomb."

Maybe this is just a way of lowering expectations. He's not going to bomb or be terrible. I mean, Tony, it can't be any worse than Listen Up, can it?

• Sci Fi to air Doctor Who's second series.
• Tucker Carlson to join Dancing with the Stars. Gene Kelly weeps in his grave.
• Legendary talk-show host Mike Douglas dead at 81.
• ElimiDate and Blind Date are finally cancelled.
• Original Star Trek episodes to air on TV Land.
• Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune start broadcasting in HD this year.
• ABC moves Ugly Betty to Thursdays.
• The move pushes Big Day and Notes from the Underbelly off the fall schedule.
• Here's a full schedule of known premiere dates.
• Eric Balfour joins 24.
• One Ocean View is cancelled.
• Mike Wallace nabs interview with Iranian president.
• Curb Your Enthusiasm gets another season.
• MTV2 cartoon attacked for racial insensitivity.
• Exec. producer of Brothers & Sisters leaves show.
• The Barkers from Meet the Barkers file for divorce.
• Eureka almost became an animated series.
• Ed Begley Jr. to play school dean on Veronica Mars.
• More Screech shenanigans: he gets mugged.
• Dennis Miller to have a segment on Hannity & Colmes.
• Bob Saget to host 1 Vs. 100.
• Saget will direct a satire of March of the Penguins.
• Comedy Central picks up Jon Stewart-produced pilot.
• NBC to produce behind-the-scenes Diff'rent Strokes tele-movie.
• Fred Savage and wife have a child.
• Author of unauthorized Clay Aiken bio sues... Clay Aiken.
• David Keith joins The Class.

• New ad for Weeds smells like the show's title.
• Put people on notice like Stephen Colbert.
• Which FOX shows get you excited? Take our poll.
• Any interest in a Moonlighting reunion?
• Here's a clip from Weird Al's old kids' show.
• What are the most annoying commercials?
• Why don't more people talk about The Wire?

• Rich's fall picks.
• Keith's fall picks.
• Bob's fall picks.
• Jonathan's fall picks.
• Adam's fall picks.

• Keith shows the goodies in the Vanished press kit.
• Adam details the proper way to tell Sean Hannity that he sucks ass.
• Bob wants his TV and his computer to stay separate.
• Bob is happy his favorite TV mag is back.
• Anna doesn't like the current house flippers on A&E.

• Firefly: "Trash"
• The Simpsons: "Bart's Comet"
• Sports Night: "The Six Southern Gentlemen of Tennessee Tech"
• The Prisoner: "A Change of Mind"
• The Office (BBC): Episode 11
• Seinfeld: "The Subway"
• Angel: "Expecting"
• Buffy: "Out of Mind, Out of Sight"
• Futurama: "A Flight to Remember"
• The X-Files: "Eve"

• Monk: "Mr Monk and the Class Reunion"
• Stargate Atlantis: "Progeny"
• Psych: "Weekend Warriors"
• Big Brother: Elimination #5
• It's Always Sunny...: "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass"
• Project Runway: "Iconic Statement"
• Blade: "Sacrifice"
• Rock Star: Supernova: Week 6 Elimination
• Last Comic Standing: Josh Blue takes the title
• Rescue Me: "Retards"
• Big Brother All-Stars: Veto Ceremony #5
• The Closer: "Heroic Measures"
• Hell's Kitchen: Episode 9
• The Venture Bros.: "Twenty Years to Midnight"
• Entourage: "Vegas Baby, Vegas!"
• Deadwood: "Amateur Night"

There's always something great to read at Ken Levine's blog, and this past week was no exception. He has a really funny (and really useful) list of situations and scenes that aspiring writers should never include in their TV scripts. My favorite:

Don't hinge your show on stunt casting. I read a "Becker" where former President Jimmy Carter came in for a check-up and offered dating advice. Yeah, President Carter gets his physicals in the Bronx. And yeah, President Carter is always available to guest on a sitcom and advise a character to say whatever is necessary to get laid.

Of course, we've all seen even worse things actually make it on the air, but this is a great list.

• On the cover: this has nothing to do with television, but it's so cool I'll mention it anyway. A preview of the new Bond film, Casino Royale, plus four other retro covers featuring the other movie Bonds. Part of the Fall Preview Issue.
• Who is the best couple of TV right now?
• How well does Miami Vice (the TV show) hold up?
• An interview with Big Brother's Kaysar. Was he too nice to play the game?
• In the print edition: what is The Daily Show do when the other cast members leave?; a look at how Elisabeth is the new controversial View woman now that Star is gone; reviews of Weeds and Rock Star: Supernova; and a Rescue Me debate. One critic loves it, the other loathes it.

It was just a matter of time before we saw this show on DVD. With the success of shows like Mystery Science Theater 3000 on DVD, we knew that Elvira's show would make it to stores too.

Shout Factory will release 6 movies from Elvira's late night cult hit TV show Movie Macabre on September 19th. You can buy the movies in either single disc sets or double disc sets. Here's a list of the movies:

Doomsday Machine
Werewolf of Washington
Frankenstein's Castle Freaks
Count Dracula's Great Love
Legacy of Blood
Devil's Wedding Night

The single discs will be only $9.98, and the double discs only $14.98!

• On the cover: 24's Kiefer Sutherland talks about the new season of the show.
• A parent's guide to the new fall season.
• Matt Roush says the second season of Weeds looks as good as the first.
• An interview with Deadwood's Calamity Jane.
• J.J. Abrams talks about the new Star Trek, The Twilight Zone, The Prisoner, and Lost, of course.
• In the print edition: Stargate SG-1 does The Wizard of Oz; a Q and A with Fantasia about her Lifetime movie; and an interview with Kellie Martin about her Hallmark Channel mystery movie series.

You've probably seen the "Jon Stewart in 2008" posters on the web. Now comes this poster on the right. CNN anchor Anderson Cooper for President, from The Poster List (there are a lot of other cool posters on that site too).

Now who can Anderson get to be his running mate? Katie Couric? Bill O'Reilly? Nah, I doubt they'd see eye to eye on most things. Maybe Stewart can run for President and Cooper can be VP?

[via TV Newser]

• Charlie Rose: a discussion on Syria; and the founders of YouTube
• The Late Show With David Letterman: Denis Leary, David Wright, and The Wreckers (repeat)
• Jay Leno: David Duchovny, Jeff Corwin, Donovan Frankenreiter
• Jimmy Kimmel Live: Rosario Dawson, Jesse Metcalfe, and The Flaming Lips (repeat)
• Late Night With Conan O'Brien: Kevin Nealon
• The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson: Michael Clarke Duncan, Laura Kightlinger, and Rob Zombie
• Last Call With Carson Daly: Steven R. Schirripa, Sugar Ray Leonard, Tammy Pescatelli, and Rhymefest