(S05E15) Well, all right! I admit it, I was partial to Sean winning this season's The Apprentice. Although he was quiet during the early weeks he really stepped up to the plate after the herd had thinned out a bit. In fact, during the last two tasks before the final project, when he was teamed with Lee on Gold Rush, Sean really was a shining star.

Granted, Lee Bienstock was no slouch, either. For someone who I thought would be a 'hanger-on' to anyone who seemed to be a winner in Gold Rush (and, believe me, they were few and far between) he really came into his own when all of the chafe was sorted out. By the end of the series you could really see some newfound maturity in the young man. Pretty impressive for someone who had recently graduated college.

Well, now that we know who the winner is, let's go back in time and find out how our Tammy-loving Sean became Donald Trump's newest employee on The Apprentice.

Well, it looks like the stage is set, the lights are coming up, and the players are ready for the penultimate episode of The Apprentice.

(S05E13) Good evening. I have a brief statement, then I'll open the floor to questions.

I was informed by some commenters that my 'Xbox' joke, which appeared in last week's review of The Apprentice, was one of the worst ever written on Earth. Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to say... You're so right! It was horrible; the worst piece of comedy ever written since the premiere of Cop Rock. I can't believe I took a telephone gag that has been expertly performed by Bob Newhart and turned it into a pile of poop. Mr. Newhart is probably rolling around in his grave right now. I have no... Excuse me, my phone is ringing.

Oh hi, Keith (the lovely Keith McDuffee, another head blogger at TV Squad). What? Bob Newhart is alive? Oh, what does it matter! The joke was horrible and now my public hates me! Excuse me? I get paid no matter what our commenters think?

Oh.

And now, heeeerrrrreeeee's The Apprentice!

(S05E12) Well, The Apprentice has hit an all-time low. In tonight's episode, the Gold Rush and Synergy teams work on a task to promote the Xbox 360. I mean, working in the porno industry, and with 360 other people! I can't believe what they are going to... oh, excuse me I have a phone call.

Hello? Oh, hi Anna (Anna Johns, vivacious head blogger at TV Squad). Yes, I am talking about this week's Apprentice and their entry into the world of pornography! What? Xbox360 is a video game console made by Microsoft? Really? Gee, I didn't know. I mean, with the 'X' at the beginning I only assumed that . . .Hmm? Have I played any video games at home lately? Well, I did have an Atari 2600 in my youth; gosh, how I loved playing Combat! Yes, yes, I need to get out more. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. Sorry.

Ahem.

And now, onto the bangers and mash we affectionately call The Apprentice.

(S05E11) Ah, Rutgers; my old alma mater. The parties, the drinking, the pretty cheerleaders, nights of debauchery, days of hanging out with your fraternity brothers or sorority sisters, throwing up in the alley behind the student center.

Well, at least that's what I've heard: I spent most of my time working at the university's radio station. Still, they were some of the best years of my young life and I don't regret going to one of the largest (if not the largest) public university's in the state of New Jersey. So, I headed into this episode of The Apprentice with a bit more excitement than usual as I looked forward to seeing the New Brunswick campus obtain a bit of national glory, and to watch the Synergies and the Goldy Rushies try to sell as much food as possible during the Homecoming game.

And now, the crappy college food that is known as The Apprentice.

(S05E10) In Monday's fun-filled episode of The Apprentice, the Scooby gangs oversee the grand openings of two different hair salons. The title of the episode is 'Blow Out'. The Bravo cable network has a reality show named Blow Out, which focuses on the antics of a Hollywood hair salon and its owner. Bravo is owned by Universal, which also runs NBC.

Hmm. I smell network synergy.

Oh, before we begin the bloodletting I wanted to mention a few things that we learned this episode:

• Everyone thinks that Lee is a born politician;
• Trump thinks Tarek is a schmuck (but we all knew that already);
• For the millionth time, that's Donald Trump's real friggin' hair!

And now, the jello mold we call The Apprentice.

And, we're back.

(S05E09) After a lovely respite last week, The Apprentice has returned to Monday nights to torture entice us with the confusion and the back-stabbing that is the corporate world. Just to review, Synergy has gone on a four-week rout against Gold Rush. In the two episodes before the break, Lenny and Leslie were let go from Gold Rush, and now the rest of the team members are ready for a bit of revenge.

Do they get their revenge? Will your favorite person be fired next? Is that real hair on Donald Trump's head? Am I asking too many questions?

All that, and more, will be answered as you click ahead to the toxic waste dump known as The Apprentice. 

Well, maybe. Apparently the ratings for The Apprentice 5 haven't been that great, so NBC is trying to lure more viewers to the show with the possibility of a $10,000 prize each week. Turning the show into a kind of American Idol experience, viewers will be able to participate in the show and vote for who they think should be fired. So really, it'll be much more like real life. I remember when I was eighteen and applied at McDonald's but the manager wouldn't hire me until he asked fifty complete strangers on the street whether I should work there or not. It all makes perfect sense. Winners from all three time zones will be chosen each week. You can learn more about the contest over on NBC's site. The contest kicks off April 24 and will run to the end of the season.

(S05E07/S05E08) Well, we're about half-way through this cycle of The Apprentice, and there is one thing I can say with 100% truthfulness: team Gold Rush sucks! I mean, these are the worst group of corporate potentials that I have ever seen on this show. The three remaining male members of the team (Tyrek, Lee and Lenny) couldn't decide if they wanted cheese or not on their Whopper without an argument breaking out. Tyrek is just vapid, Lenny uses his Russian heritage as a crutch, and Lee kind of just sits there.

Actually, Lee reminds me of two people. If you put a pair of glasses and a bow tie on him he looks a bit like Mr. Smithers from The Simpsons. I can actually hear him saying, "Why, that's Tyrek, Mr. Trump. One of your cancerous tumors from Sector 7G." The other person he reminds me of is Michael from The Office; he seems like one of those guys who would do anything to get others to like him. Needless to say, if Gold Rush continues in their current format they are going to continue to lose.

I smell a team change on the horizon. With that foreshadowing let's move on to the chicken casserole we call The Apprentice.

My wife's contractions are 8 minutes apart. That has nothing to do with this week's episode of The Apprentice, but I'm just giving you fair warning; she's 38 weeks pregnant with twins and you never know when my review stop in the middle of. . .

Ha! Caught you napping there, didn't I?  Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

Oh, one more item before we begin. Apparently we have been pronouncing the word 'industry' incorrectly for all of these years. I say this after hearing Donald Trump talking about the cruise ship 'in-DUST-try' during the task introduction.

And now, the roller coaster ride known as The Apprentice.

Boy, they love to cry over there at Apprentice central. Last week, Andrea had a crying jag when Brent returned to the apartment after his boardroom session. This week, Charmaine had a bit of a pout when she realized that she was 'this close' to being fired. I'm really not too sure if these are people that I'd want to run a business; they seem to cry at the drop of a hat.

Anyway, let us be off to the sideshow that is known as The Apprentice.