Hola, mi muchachos and muchachoettes! It is I, Schedule Boy, back from wherever the hell I was. I'm here this time to present a comprehensive list of upcoming season and series premieres and finales for you, my adoptive TV Squad family.
What a crazy season its been! Shows that had so much potential (The Nine, Studio 60) struggled to stay on the air, while others (Ugly Betty, Friday Night Lights, Jericho, 30 Rock) surprised us with their growing fan bases and popularity. Then there were shows like ER that made a sudden comeback and ones like Gilmore Girls and Scrubs that didn't seem to find their way for the first half of the season. Well, at least we could be confident that hits like Grey's Anatomy, American Idol, 24 and Lost would carry us through the season. Then again, maybe not. Like I said, crazy season.
So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this fine presentation, presented in color with limited commercial interruption. You can find the list of premieres and finales (as well shows returning from hiatus) after the jump. Remember, dates are subject to change, so we'll be updating as time moves forward.
(S01E02) As I watched this week's episode, I could only think one thing...thank goodness there are only nine finalists, cause I really can't take much more of this show, in fact, in deference to the people who like this show (both of them) this is going to be my last review.
The first big event of the show is when the girls move into their new house. After the required fifteen minutes of screaming and running with their hands in their air, they finally choose their beds. Was I the only one aroused by the girl who licked her pillow?
(S08E03) So when this episode's first piece of "Tyra mail" made its way into the model mansion it read, "Babies learn how to do it, can you?"
Call me a prophet, but somehow I knew the answer to this question was not "bite, masticate, and digest".
I know skinniness is all the rage in the modeling industry, but holy crap! Some of these girls look like it's day 30 of Survivor and they're part of the downtrodden tribe, sustaining themselves solely on a diet of coconut husks, sea cucumbers, and bark.
I always halfway expect to see Jeff Probst pop out from behind something and offer one of these girls a hamburger in exchange for immunity.
I scoffed a little when she said that; nothing about the season to that point had suggested that the show was going to improve. But I've got to hand it to Rosenthal and company; the show has been on an upward trend, giving us about a month's worth of entertaining episodes that, while not quite up to the level of the show's creative peak, certainly give me hope that the show won't go out with a whimper, whether it's this season or next.
The key? Keep the Gilmore girls together. All three of them.
(S01E01) Are you the only person on earth who isn't sick of the song "Don't Cha?" Well, you're in luck. You can hear it over and over again on the newest reality show from the CW.
Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll is the perfect show to audition for if you are too slutty for American Idol, too untalented for America's Next Top Model and too stupid for The Apprentice.
You may remember the host of the show, Mark McGrath as the lead singer of the band Sugar Ray. Personally, I have a hard time respecting someone who quits being one of the handsomest lead singers around to become a poor man's Chris Harrison.
Also, on hand, is the founder of the Dolls herself, Robin Antin. For you Blow Out fans, Robin is Jonathan Antin's more masculine sister. In the opening, Robin says the Pussycat Dolls are "always evolving." Sadly, that statement does not apply to Robin herself.
Twelve young adults and four celebrities will be honored for their service in four areas: public health; community building; education and environment; and global impact. Award recipients, who range in age from 11 to 25, will receive a check for the charitable organization of their choice and a framed brick trophy - intended to symbolize a "building block" and be the antithesis of "shiny, perfect" Oscar-like trophies.
My reviews of Everybody Hates Chris didn't garner many responses, though that never bothered me much. It's a smart and funny show and I was happy to write about it every week, even if it didn't get the recognition shared by your Ugly Bettys, My Name is Earls and other comedies from the big networks.
Unfortunately, I have to stop reviewing the show, because we're not allowed to write about black people on this blog -- I'm kidding! Really, that was a joke. Actually, the honest to goodness reason I can't write about Everybody Hates Chris is that the CW has been removed from my cable lineup because of some corporate nonsense I don't fully understand, nor do I plan to understand it because I only care about the shows themselves, not whatever bureaucratic B.S. is keeping the CW off my TV.
Remember the old Spider-Man cartoon? Not the one from the 90s, the one from the 60s that was all groovy and had those confusing shots of Spidey shooting his web straight into the sky, and you wondered what the hell he was hanging on and swinging from. Airplanes? A blimp? Giant birds? It didn't make any sense, but the theme song was cool:
In his satin tights
Fighting for your rights
And the old red, white, and bluuuuuuuuuuuue!
Oh, wait, that was Wonder Woman.
How does a
By way of
Lets us give a warm welcome to Natasha, who will forever be remembered as this cycle of America's Next Top Model contestant with a suspicious immigration story that brinks on the edge of being called marrying off a child bride a fairytale.
(S08E01) Having the opportunity to view this two hour premiere on two separate occasions made it a little easier for me to catch some of those little nuances that make the show so enjoyable.
For starters, Tyra Banks is certifiably insane. In all honesty, I don't know a great deal of information about her but there are two things I know for sure. For one, she is incredibly attractive. That's all I have to say about that.
Second, she is tied with Reese Witherspoon for having the most forehead real estate in Hollywood. In fact, I routinely call her "Fivehead" around the house, but I promise it's a term of endearment.
What exactly was so offensive about the ad, which featured Tyra and the show's contestants in bathing suits against a waterfall? The city's director of transit services said that most of the complaints came from people who felt that the city was endorsing a show that was disrespectful to women. Whether you find ANTM disrespectful to women depends a great deal on whether or not you think the entire modeling industry is disrespectful to women. I find ANTM's labor practices more offensive than I do the content of the show, and almost all advertisements turned into a big, blurry morass of noise for me back in the mid-90s. Regardless, do as you will Santa Monica residents (and ANTM contestants). To paraphrase wordsmith and raconteur Bobby Brown, it's your prerogative.
(S03E15) I'm going to take this moment to make a plea to Rob Thomas and The CW to not throw out the season long (or semi-season long) story arcs on this show. This episode was a prime example of what the buildup from several episodes of story can result in. Would the climax of this episode been as dramatic had we only been built up for one, two or even three episodes?
Sure, most of us called Tim the mastermind of the murder all along, but this episode threw so many wrenches into the works that I was quickly doubting myself. It wasn't until the final moments of the episode that I was once again sure Tim was responsible.
Well, except for Logan. But there needed to be some angst in his life, as the Logan we've been seeing for the last few weeks has been very... well, he's been very un-Logan-like lately. In other words, he's been the perfect boyfriend to Rory. You know that had to end eventually.
(S02E16) One of the things I like so much about Everybody Hates Chris is that, at least on some levels, I can relate to what Chris goes through: I know what it was to grow up with not a lot of money, and I also know what it was like being one of the unpopular kids in school.
Of course, there are some things about young Chris' life I can't really relate to, such as living in a rough neighborhood. Gold chains have become popular in Chris' neighborhood, and so has "chain snatching," the art of ripping someone's gold chain right off their neck. Malvo returns in this episode, and when he tries to steal a chain from Vanessa (Jackee Harry), Chris warns her. Malvo, a career criminal, is none too happy about it and tells Chris to get him a gold chain by tomorrow.
The day is closer upon us. The end of The O.C. will come to our screens tomorrow night.. The originator and main reason why the development floodgates of Hollywood were opened to introduce us to programming such as Laguna Beach and other bad teen shows based on excess and other items of unimportance.
Although there are many broken hearted O.C. fans amongst us, we aren't that upset to see a character like Oliver Trask off into oblivion. He was able to exude as much hate that a writer could place on a single character, and I am personally glad to see him go.
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