TV Squad Ten
Television as an industry is in need of a major overhaul. It's old, dusty, soiling itself, and not keeping up with the technology that changes from day to day. If it were an old, sick animal, or Larry King, it would probably be put to sleep. Alas, so many of us rely on the old biddy that it would be hard for us to say good-bye.
Luckily, I am a resourceful, intelligent and, dare I say it, gorgeous human being who has some ideas in mind to freshen up the television landscape. Yes, it may mean sacrifice from some of us (mainly network executives) and we may lose something in the process. But, in the end, the industry that we love to quietly despise while watching Cheaters will thrive once again.
When my husband shook off his case of the giggles, he gently reminded me that the dad was, actually, closer to my age than the teenage boys. True, but I am so not as old as that dad... but I do think he's hot.
In fact, there have been a lot of hot dads, let's call them DILFs, on TV in recent years. Gives us oldies some eye candy too, I suppose. So, in descending order (yep, you've got to wait until the end for the super-hotties):
As much as there have been movies about the theater and movies about movies, the films that have been made about television are some of the best ever. This year alone, there are two movies nominated for Best Picture of the year by the Academy Awards that are all about television -- Slumdog Millionaire and Frost/Nixon. Without TV, neither of these films would exist. Looking back, here are the films about TV that set the standards by which Slumdog Millionaire and Frost/Nixon are measured.
Some of them, however, try to explain too much or cover too much ground and end up becoming the kind of dreams that keeps our Paxil dosage high and GlaxoSmithKline's stock price higher.
These are those mindfreaks.
At any rate, "bromance" is part of our language now, and it's even the title of an MTV show starring Brody Jenner and his buds.
I'm not ashamed to say I have girl-crushes on a few TV babes (True Blood's Sookie Stackhouse springs to mind), so it's not unfeasible for a guy to have a man-crush on another guy. I don't know if that's true for all these pairings, but since I'm writing this, we'll say it is. Take a look at my top ten bromances on TV right now:
When it came time to put together this list, I wondered if I'd be able to find ten viable and qualified bananas on the airwaves today. But I guess I needn't have worried. It looks like Barney was an inspiration (in more ways than one) to the current crop of second bananas. They litter their peels all over the television landscape, leaving us to trip over in laughter time and time again at their antics. But how do they stack up? Who's the biggest fruit in the tree? There's only one way to find out!
To celebrate the release of The Lonely Island's debut album "Incredibad," we've compiled this list of the top ten Saturday Night Live Digital Shorts. For almost four years, Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer have brought us these videos, and they've managed to keep us laughing and humming their tunes weeks after they've aired. We hope this countdown makes you feel just as SNL-y in your digital shorts as when you first saw the videos, and if not, that's okay too. We're glad you're here anyway.
Of course, the rule is that they must have been prefaced by the "An SNL Digital Short" card to qualify. We know how much you love "Virgania Horsen's Hot Air Balloon Rides," but it's not happening. Sorry.
As I was looking around the current crop of television shows, I found ten characters who seem to capture the essence of cool -- whether they know it or not. After the jump, we count them down.
Have you seen TNT's new show, Leverage yet? It's been called a new age A-Team, but I see it more as a lighthearted combination of Ocean's 11, Alias, Burn Notice and even How I Met Your Mother.
In fact, I'm willing to go out on a limb and state in no uncertain terms that Leverage is the best new show to premiere this season. I would have given the title to The Mentalist previous to Leverage's premiere, but since then, it has continued to steal my heart a little more each week.
What makes Leverage the best new show this season? In no particular order ...
Is this season of American Idol everything you dreamed it would be? Or are you thinking it's the same-old-same-old we've all seen before? I fall into both camps, so decided to put together my list of ten reasons you should be watching American Idol this season. Feel free to add your own in the comments section!
10. Ryan Seacrest and Girls in Bikinis. Despite all the flak he gets, Ryan is still great with the contestants and either genuinely cares about them or does a good job of pretending he cares. And I thought he handled the awkward kiss from Bikini Girl with as much grace as possible under the circumstances. Did she take her five minutes of fame and make the most of it or what? Hey, use what you've got, right?
Then the network caused a global groan so loud that it shifted the tectonic plates when they announced that Nelson had to cancel and they would replace him with Larry the Cable Guy.
It's such an obvious and safe choice that might be a good recipe for ratings, but it's a sure fire recipe for boring. Here are the iconic stars who would have made much better kindling for a white hot comedy roast.
It's not usual for a show in its fourth season to see a sudden ratings surge, but that's exactly what's happening to the CW's little known (and little watched) Supernatural. The horror-genre show has long been a cult favorite, struggling in its Thursday night 9 pm slot. This season, though, the show has seen an uptick in viewers, logging an average of 3.32 million eyeballs a week, well ahead of their season three numbers.
Even a devotee like myself can admit that the show's charms are an acquired taste, preferably to those with a forgiving palette. This season, though, has been good enough for me to think, wow you should really watch. And here are ten excellent reasons why you should watch:
Ah, 2009. Come in, come in! Have a seat at my crystal ball. Oh, I know it's cracked, but don't worry -- it's still useful.
You are so young, so virile, my little new year. You are also ripe...ripe for me to predict your future. I see plenty in my cracked crystal ball -- yes, yes, it's working just fine. Some of it is good, some is bad, and the rest I can't see because of all the cracks. Those predictions probably don't mean much anyway. I mean, Dustin Diamond being cast in a remake of Cop Rock? Who would believe such tripe?
Oh, don't get up! Yes, Allison gave us her predictions already, but that was with a different ball. So, sit, sit, and let me predict your future in television through my fractured sphere.
Random House defines outrageous as highly unusual or unconventional; extravagant; remarkable. It's as though they've been watching TV, and wrote their definition to fit some of the crazy characters on television shows today.
Oh, don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. I love these larger-than-life characters, played to perfection by the talented actors who grace these roles. Some fit in perfectly with their surroundings, others stand out like a sore thumb amongst castmates. One thing they all have in common, though, is that watching them is pure entertainment.
Patrick Jane (played by Simon Baker on The Mentalist)
Jane doesn't quite have the social graces to blend into society, and that's why I love him. The frumpy suits, the obnoxious antics, and the constant pushing of the envelope make for some good TV. From card counting in the casino to reading Lisbon's mind; hypnotizing suspects to making a sandwich in a victim's home, Jane's done it all. Unconventional, to say the least.
Fortunately, I don't see a SAG strike in the future. However, here are ten things I'm betting will happen by the time the ball drops on December 31st.
1. Martin Scorsese will be the next big thing on HBO. He's producing a drama based on the book Boardwalk Empire. HBO is overdue to launch another big series in The Sopranos tradition. Boardwalk Empire seems to have all the right elements: violence, sex, gambling, and Oscar-winning, iconic director Martin Scorsese.
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