What You'll Need: A leather vest, fake SAMCRO back-tattoo, ridiculously overgrown beard and a few well-placed bandanas. Don't forget a backpack full of toy guns, as you're masquerading as an arms dealer. Decorate your bicycle to look like a Harley.

Optional Accessories: Several hundred pounds of fake heroin, as you're also trafficking drugs for the cartels. For extra effect, periodically take our your cell phone and claim that you're ghostwriting tweets for Kurt Sutter.