Two and a Half Men

  • Two and a Half Men

  • When it's on

    June 19, 2013 6:00PM
    She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
    Season 6 Episode 16
    Charlie rushes to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom before Chelsea (Jennifer Taylor) arrives.

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Pilot

Season 1,  Episode 1   |   Original Airdate: 2003-09-22

Charlie's life turns upside down when his brother and nephew move in; at the supermarket, Charlie discovers he can use 10-year-old Jake to attract women.

Big Flappy Bastards

Season 1,  Episode 2   |   Original Airdate: 2003-09-29

Charlie doesn't know how to discipline Jake for luring a flock of sea gulls into his room; Judith surprises Alan when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Season 1,  Episode 3   |   Original Airdate: 2003-10-06

Un trago da valor a unos hermanos para enfrentar a su madre dominante.

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Season 1,  Episode 3   |   Original Airdate: 2003-10-06

One drink too many emboldens the brothers to stand up to their controlling mother.

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Season 1,  Episode 4   |   Original Airdate: 2003-10-13

Alan offers to help get Charlie's cleaning lady back if Charlie can get Jake ready to go out to dinner with his mother.

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

Season 1,  Episode 5   |   Original Airdate: 2003-10-20

Charlie and Alan meet several women while attending one of Jake's soccer games.

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Season 1,  Episode 6   |   Original Airdate: 2003-10-27

After Evelyn's new beau dumps her, Charlie and Alan enlist Jake to cheer her up; Charlie teaches Jake a lesson about screening telephone calls from women.

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

Season 1,  Episode 7   |   Original Airdate: 2003-11-03

For a school assignment, Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of Charlie's female friend.

Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

Season 1,  Episode 8   |   Original Airdate: 2003-11-10

Charlie realizes Jake's classmates know the words to all of his jingles, and he is inspired to craft the fourth-grade musical with unusual results.

Phase One, Complete

Season 1,  Episode 9   |   Original Airdate: 2003-11-17

Jake and Evelyn befriend one of Charlie's one-night stands, causing her to stay longer than expected.

Merry Thanksgiving

Season 1,  Episode 10   |   Original Airdate: 2003-11-24

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites Lisa (Denise Richards) over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Season 1,  Episode 11   |   Original Airdate: 2003-12-15

Alan reluctantly agrees to a makeover after running into his ex-wife and her new beau; when the brothers go shopping, they clash over what to buy.

Camel Filters and Pheremones

Season 1,  Episode 12   |   Original Airdate: 2004-01-05

The housekeeper's beautiful granddaughter comes to work with her and attracts the attention of the men; Alan tries to convince Judith that Charlie's house is good for Jake.

Sarah Like Puny Alan

Season 1,  Episode 13   |   Original Airdate: 2004-01-12

Charlie sets his ailing brother up on a date, then drags him to a steam room to help him get rid of his flu symptoms.

I Can't Afford Hyenas

Season 1,  Episode 14   |   Original Airdate: 2004-02-02

Charlie realizes he's broke when his credit card is declined at the grocery store. Richard Lewis guest stars.

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Season 1,  Episode 15   |   Original Airdate: 2004-02-09

Against Alan's judgment, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie. Guest star: Jenna Elfman.

That Was Saliva, Alan

Season 1,  Episode 16   |   Original Airdate: 2004-02-16

Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run; Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake.

Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Season 1,  Episode 17   |   Original Airdate: 2004-02-23

Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.

An Old Flame With a New Wick

Season 1,  Episode 18   |   Original Airdate: 2004-03-01

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man (Chris O'Donnell).

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Season 1,  Episode 19   |   Original Airdate: 2004-03-22

Judith's sister, Liz (guest star Teri Hatcher), hits on Alan at Jake's birthday party; Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake.

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Season 1,  Episode 20   |   Original Airdate: 2004-04-19

After trying a father/son talk, Alan and Judith decide to take a moody Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch).

No Sniffing, No Wowing

Season 1,  Episode 21   |   Original Airdate: 2004-05-03

Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear).

My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Season 1,  Episode 22   |   Original Airdate: 2004-05-10

Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (Jane Lynch).

Just Like Buffalo

Season 1,  Episode 23   |   Original Airdate: 2004-05-17

Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Can You Feel My Finger?

Season 1,  Episode 24   |   Original Airdate: 2004-05-24

A pregnancy scare has Charlie heading to the doctor for a vasectomy.
SHOW DESCRIPTION

Chiropractor and single father Alan Harper lives in a beachfront house with his underachieving son, Jake, and divorced Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt, who moves in with the Harpers and offers to buy the house following the untimely death of Alan's brother, Charlie, who owned the house and had lived there with Alan and Jake when the father and son moved in following Alan's divorce. Alan's ex-wife and Jake's mother, Judith, remains a part of their lives. Also featured in the series are Alan's mother, Evelyn, and sharp-tongued housekeeper Berta.