24 recap

(S06E07) *Warning: Spoilers ahead*

I'm starting to miss the "good" and the "bad" terrorist story lines. This whole Bauer family drama -- with its cryptic references and long, anguished looks accompanied by soft music meant to indicate deep feelings of one kind or another -- are getting tiresome.

The last few episodes of 24, starting with the appearance of Jack Bauer's brother Graem, have been filled with unexplained familial angst, clipped utterances and baffling actions. There are times when I do enjoy the suspense of trying to figure out people's motives, playing the parlor game of discerning who's bad and who's good, but there's such a thing as too much melodramatic build up with insufficient action, particularly for an action-heavy show.

(S06E06)*Warning: Spoilers ahead*

At times, I felt as though I'd accidentally clicked over to an old episode of The Sopranos, what with all the references to stick by "the family" and the importance of family loyalty . . . all references made mere minutes after one family member had tried to suffocate another, after members of the same family drew weapons on one another and one member demanded the execution of both his brother and father.

There was even some good, old fashioned, familial taunting. Insults were hurled like calling one brother "simple minded" and later harassing him for his failure to adequately protect his wife from a terrorist.

(S06E05) How do you top a nuclear bomb blast -- complete with a mushroom cloud hovering over Los Angeles -- which killed an estimated 12,000 people instantly? Plus, throw in the threat of four more nuclear bombs still in the hands of a terrorist, somewhere in America?

You don't.

Instead, you go for some familial intrigue, some character development, yet another creepy love triangle and ramp up the irritating behavior of the president's sister.

If you have DVRed or TiVoed the latest episode of 24 and do not want to know what transpired during hour five, please do not click on the link as spoilers follow . . .

(S06E03/S06E04) -- Okay. Let me catch my breath.

Seriously.

Curtis Manning is dead. (Or at least I think he's dead. He looked pretty dead.) I knew he was ticked off that the "good" terrorist, Hamri Al-Assad, got a full pardon from President Palmer II in exchange for help tracking down the "bad" terrorist, Abu Fayed, who was in possession of a suitcase nuclear bomb. And Curtis had good reason to be ticked. After Assad's people ambushed Curtis and his Army squad in the aftermath of Operation Desert Storm, Assad himself beheaded two of the soldiers on videotape. Curtis just couldn't let Assad get away clean. So he pulled a gun on him. And Jack Bauer shot Curtis in the throat to protect Assad.

Then Jack cried. And threw up. And gave up, telling CTU chief Bill Buchanan that he was through with all this counterterrorism stuff.

Then a nuke was detonated in Los Angeles. (The Drudge Report was right in its speculation regarding the bomb.)

And, when the 24 clock got to the end of hour four, there were four more suitcase nukes floating around inside the United States.

(S06E01/S06E02) -- Jug. U. Lar.

A jugular was critical to The Scene from last night's season premiere of 24, the go-Jack-go-turn-away-then-look-back, watercooler moment . . . but I'll get to that in a minute.

6:00am - 7:00am -- Day Six of 24 began in an alternate, Bizarro World. Wayne Palmer -- who was last seen on Day Five hiding in the woods from crooked President Logan's henchmen -- was now president. The Biscuit from Ally McBeal, otherwise known as Thomas Lennox in 24land (but he'll always be The Biscuit to me), was Palmer's conservative chief of staff, discussing WWII-style Japanese internment camps as a feasible approach to the current terror crisis. And Chloe O'Brian was wearing oodles of make-up and using a quiet, throaty voice when talking to her ex, who was now a CTUer. And he lustfully felt up her rear end.

And then there was Jack Bauer who was freshly liberated from a Chinese prison, courtesy of President Palmer II who decided to trade Jack for intel in the hopes of putting an end to a three-month siege by terrorists who were hitting civilian targets in a dozen U.S. cities. When Jack disembarked from the Chinese plane looking greasy, ragged and dispirited, he wouldn't look anyone in the eye, slumped his shoulders and hadn't spoken for his entire 20-month confinement.

Whaa? Was this 24?