You just knew that the perfect storm of tabloid stories, very effective ads and promos, and a holiday where nothing else was on was going to make for boffo ratings for the Jon & Kate Plus 8 season premiere. But the numbers are staggering by almost any standard: 9.8 million people viewed the train wreck on Monday night, surpassing the numbers for any network -- broadcast or cable -- that night and doubling TLC's previous high water mark. What was that mark? The season four finale of Jon & Kate, of course.

I can't cast any aspersions on the size of the audience, because I gladly flipped on TLC to see the 73 minutes of extreme discomfort. And, boy, did I hate myself for doing it.