Let's face it, we get old. Some of us live a long and glorious life, dying happily in our sleep next to the 26-year-old Penthouse Pet of the Month who is just with our wrinkled old selves because we have money. Others live to the ripe old age of 30 and have a wonderful Lastday ceremony. It really doesn't matter...we get old one way or another.

Most of us try not to admit we are getting old. We use dyes, we have surgeries to move things around, and we pump ourselves with poison so our faces to retain that wonder wax museum sheen. Yet, there are those occasions where you hear about something that triggers that little part of your brain that makes you want to whip out the Bran Flakes and prunes. Here are just a few television-related events that may just have you looking for retirement communities in Florida.

I'm not a regular Oprah watcher, but on Monday I happened to see actress Jamie Lee Curtis' appearance. I've been really curious about Jamie lately, especially since seeing her on those Activia yogurt commercials. Damn, she's just two years younger than I am and she looks great! What is in that yogurt anyway?

But Jamie Lee was on Oprah to vent. Turns out that the cover shot she did for AARP magazine, which the editors chose to proclaim as a nude shot, was a sham. The picture was not a naked photo shoot. She was wearing a strapless top and was photographed in a swimming pool. The illusion of nudity was created by the way they cropped the picture. Jamie Lee said she was shocked. She held up a copy of the magazine and said to Oprah and the world, "Isn't it fascinating that this constitutes being naked. What the f*ck are we talking about? In my world, this is called strapless. I didn't go around saying I was topless."