While ABC, NBC, and CBS have historically remained in a cutthroat battle for viewers, each network has shared one common trait: come the season of network promotional campaigns, all actors must be prepared to look absolutely ridiculous.

After the jump ... Remember this pop cultural gem (video below) that gained traction on the Net not too long ago? The sheer oddity of the clip alone forces us to ask ourselves several questions: do these people all live together? Why is Marla Gibbs dressed like an astronaut? Does Bea Arthur do everybody's shoppingl? CAN'T NELL CARTER JUST SIT DOWN AND REST HER FEET FOR A SECOND? (Seriously, give her a break!)

I've never breakdanced. Not even in a "I'm going to comically breakdance around my friends" sort of way. I did do the Macarena once, after several drinks at a wedding.

The video after the jump, from 1985, shows Dancing with the Stars/Celebrity Duets star Alfonso Ribeiro pitching his breakdancing book. Over 100 pages of instruction on how to do everything from The Wave to The Centipede to The Windmill. But that's not all! You also get a giant foldout floor to breakdance on, a full "rap sheet" on how to rap, and an album of rap/dance music that is, in Alfonso's words, "radical." And all for only $19.99! He guarantees you'll freak out your friends. It's brought to you by Telmak, who, if I've not mistaken, was Spock's brother.

[via Cracked]

Well, that wasn't much of a surprise, was it? In a show that should have lasted all of ten minutes, Alfonso Ribeiro was named winner of the first Celebrity Duets competition. By winning, $100,000 was donated to his charity Fresh Start. And, I wouldn't be surprised if David Foster, one of the judges for this competition, didn't ask Alfonso to stop by his studios one day. Personally, I always thought Alfonso was the front runner since the beginning of the competition, and I'm glad that he won.

I'll admit that I fast-forwarded through a good portion of tonight's fluff, but there were some highlights. We actually got to see what Little Richard was most famous for . . . singing and pounding the piano keys. Although he seemed a bit out of it (more than usual) he really belted out a version of Good Golly Miss Molly. Wayne Brady also performed this evening with Boyz II Men (now known as just 'Men'). If you had never heard them before, you would have thought that Wayne was part of the group since the beginning; he's actually quite good. Another highlight was solo performances from the remaining three finalists. I thought Alfonso did the best job, and Hal was much less screechy than in past duets. I thought that Lucy's solo performance was the worst, mostly because she looked like she was having a seizure up on stage.

All in all, I liked Celebrity Duets. I think they had a good mix of semi-professional and novice singers and it was actually quite entertaining. If there is another season of the show I would drop Little Richard from the judges tables and switch David and Marie Osmond, so that David could speak first. Definitely keep Wayne as host. If you have some ideas for improvements (besides canceling the show) let me know.

(S01E05) Alfonso Ribeiro, Lucy Lawless and Hal Sparks. These are your three remaining Celebrity Duets performers.I'm rooting for Alfonso, who I always felt was the front-runner. Even a bit better than Jai Rodriguez. Although, I do have a soft spot for Hal. So, without further ado, here are the night's performances.

I haven't reviewed the Celebrity Duets live results show, but I decided that I should this week because the three finalists would be picked. Well, it's good that I did because I got to see the elimination of Cheech Marin (big surprise) and . . . Jai Rodriguez?

What? The? Hell?

Yes, you are reading this right. Jai Rodriguez, who was a front runner since the beginning of the competition a few weeks ago, was eliminated this week over, ready, Lucy Lawless! Okay, Lucy is a decent singer, but Jai was head-and-shoulders above her and I thought he would be in the finals along with Alfonso Ribeiro, who you knew was going to make it after his very first duet. I guess, like in all other Simon Cowell produced shows, the fix was in. Although, in the show's defense, Lucy looked absolutely shocked that she was in the finals. I believe that she was mouthing something like 'Are you sure you didn't make a mistake?'.

(S01E03) It's about 1:00 a.m. as I write this, so let's get down to the business at hand. To recap from last week, Lea Thompson was let go. I'm surprised, since I thought she did a fairly decent job. I'm guessing that a number of wives and girlfriends called to vote her off because they were tired of their husbands and boyfriends ogling Thompson in her mini-skirts. And now, this week's performances:

1. Lucy Lawless and Dionne Warwick: This was one of Lucy's better performances (this coming from the man who thought she should have been let go after her first week). She was a nice fit to Dionne's husky singing. Judge Marie Osmond liked her performance as well, but thought she was being a bit timid. Judge Little Richard also liked her performance (although it was hard to tell). Finally, Judge David Foster agreed with his colleagues, but requested that she sing her next duet in a higher harmony.