Allie

(S05E13) Good evening. I have a brief statement, then I'll open the floor to questions.

I was informed by some commenters that my 'Xbox' joke, which appeared in last week's review of The Apprentice, was one of the worst ever written on Earth. Ladies and gentlemen, I am here to say... You're so right! It was horrible; the worst piece of comedy ever written since the premiere of Cop Rock. I can't believe I took a telephone gag that has been expertly performed by Bob Newhart and turned it into a pile of poop. Mr. Newhart is probably rolling around in his grave right now. I have no... Excuse me, my phone is ringing.

Oh hi, Keith (the lovely Keith McDuffee, another head blogger at TV Squad). What? Bob Newhart is alive? Oh, what does it matter! The joke was horrible and now my public hates me! Excuse me? I get paid no matter what our commenters think?

Oh.

And now, heeeerrrrreeeee's The Apprentice!

(S05E10) In Monday's fun-filled episode of The Apprentice, the Scooby gangs oversee the grand openings of two different hair salons. The title of the episode is 'Blow Out'. The Bravo cable network has a reality show named Blow Out, which focuses on the antics of a Hollywood hair salon and its owner. Bravo is owned by Universal, which also runs NBC.

Hmm. I smell network synergy.

Oh, before we begin the bloodletting I wanted to mention a few things that we learned this episode:

• Everyone thinks that Lee is a born politician;
• Trump thinks Tarek is a schmuck (but we all knew that already);
• For the millionth time, that's Donald Trump's real friggin' hair!

And now, the jello mold we call The Apprentice.

And, we're back.

(S05E09) After a lovely respite last week, The Apprentice has returned to Monday nights to torture entice us with the confusion and the back-stabbing that is the corporate world. Just to review, Synergy has gone on a four-week rout against Gold Rush. In the two episodes before the break, Lenny and Leslie were let go from Gold Rush, and now the rest of the team members are ready for a bit of revenge.

Do they get their revenge? Will your favorite person be fired next? Is that real hair on Donald Trump's head? Am I asking too many questions?

All that, and more, will be answered as you click ahead to the toxic waste dump known as The Apprentice.