(S07E04) Aretha Codner: "Oh, I have a beautiful voice. I do have a beautiful voice. My voice, it is amazing. It is amazing. To my family, to people that don't even know me. I stop crowds. I do. I stop crowds. People listen to me because they're just like 'Wow.'"
Simon: "Do you mean the crowd disappears?"
Aretha: "Hey, you know what, they come closer."
Simon: "Holding anything?"

At first I thought it was just me, but on the start of "Day Two" in Charleston, the judges even said that they were hoping it would get better. Unfortunately, it didn't. And I guess there must have been a lot of out-of-towners to the city, recently crowned "The Nicest City in America," because there was enough bitching going on to make Simon look sweet. Aretha wasn't even the worst of it. Twenty-one people out of a crowd of 10,000 made it through, and I'll bet some of those were just because the judges standards got lower and lower as they thought "We're gonna have to let someone through." But they did manage to find one of my favorite contestants of the season thus far.

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(S07E03) Simon (to Christopher Baker): "The reality is there is not a single person on planet Earth who would ever pay to hear you sing."
Christopher: "I understand your opinion, Simon, and I am going to sing the song in a lower tone."

San Diego, California. Where the talented flock to make their dreams come true and where many of them stay after that dream fizzles. Never mind that Carly Hennessy, er I mean Smithson, over there has already had a major record deal with MCA Records back in 2001, she's got a sleeve of tattoos now, a new husband and name so she's a fresh-faced undiscovered talent all over again. So just shut up and don't question it already, capische?!

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(S07E02)
Simon (to contestant Beth Maddocks): "What was that?"
Randy: "It's called 'Beautiful Disaster.'"
Simon: "Okay, well we'll stay with the last word on that."

I'm thrilled that we're getting to see more of the good auditions this year than we have in recent years but, and I'm so ashamed to admit this, it actually made the show a bit boring. Or maybe there just weren't as many crazies in Texas as there are everywhere else. I don't know. There were some good singers, even a few really good singers, but I found myself just kind of like "Eh, I wonder what else is on" during long portions of it. In fact at one point I wrote a letter.

Dear American Idol,
Stop giving us background stories on people who suck. We don't need to get invested in them because they're through. Quit wasting our time. And you do know how contrived these "bad" auditions are becoming, right? Sure, it was funny the first few years because so many really didn't know they were that bad, but they know. Come on, Idol, they know! You can't tell when a comedian is playing for face time on television? You're smarter than that ... aren't you?

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(S07E01)
Simon: "Did you honestly think, Udi, and I'm gonna ask you this question seriously, that you had any chance of getting through and winning?"
Udi: "Yes I did."
Simon: "Then you're nuts."

What strike? An American Idol two-night four-hour extravaganza with no real competitive programming on opposite it? Sounds pretty status quo, though I'm sure FOX doesn't mind the almost complete lack of original scripted programming on the dial. My obsession with the Idol started because my wife wanted to see all those terrible singers the FOX hype machine paraded on our TV screens before the first season. It's had me ever since. Kelly, Ruben, Fantasia, Carrie, Taylor, Jordin and ... Let's roll up our sleeves and get this thing started so we can find out!

I've got my tub of cream cheese and cheesesteak sandwich next to me so I can get in the right mindset. Philadelphia here we come. And, per the picture to the right (Ben Haar, 24), let the circus sideshow begin. Oh, and thanks Ben for ruining the Princess Leia slave outfit for an entire generation. Bastard! Where's Ryan to bring some semblance of sanity to this freakshow?

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(S06E40) In honor of the American Idol two-part season finale, there's going to be a live chat during the show so you can post your thoughts and comments immediately.

Will Blake beatbox his way to glory? Or will Jordin sparkle her way to the top?

Click here to join the chat.

A full recap will be IS NOW posted after the jump later tonight.

(S06E38) Ryan tells us that the theme of tonight's American Idol is "Three." There are three finalists singing three songs each. The three contestants have three phone numbers assigned to them. And of course, there are three Idol judges.

Can you believe that tomorrow one of these three finalists will be leaving American Idol? If nothing else, each of them gave stellar performances tonight proving they deserved to be in the final three. Unfortunately, someone has to go home tomorrow. And I'm not sure who that person will be.

But based on tonight's performances, I have to think that Melinda Doolittle deserves to be safe.

(S06E35) Touchy, touchy, touchy. If I learned anything from the comments on yesterday's reviewcap, it's not to mess with the readers and their Jon Bon Jovi. Holy goodness, you guys absolutely obliterated me in the comments. The strange thing is, I kind of liked it.

Fortunately, I only received one death threat, so I'm happy to be coming out of this relatively unscathed. Deep down you know you were really laughing with me, you just didn't want to admit it. What's that you say? You weren't amused? Ok, then let's just start the recap.

(S06E34) Was anyone really surprised that no one got sent home during "Idol Gives Back"? It was a charity event. Someone having their dream destroyed just wouldn't have fit in with the show.

The fact that no one left had a profound effect on this episode as Ryan was quick to point out since two people would be going home this week.