Tuesday on 'The View,' (weekdays, syndicated on ABC) Regis came up with an innovative idea for next move. Instead of starting his own new show, he'd like to just be featured on the last five minutes of someone else's show.
"I want to be Andy Rooney!" he yelled. "I'll just spend five minutes with whoever's there," he continued, and when Elisabeth Hasselbeck joked that maybe he should assume that role on 'The View,' he jumped at the idea. "Now you're talkin' baby!"
"I always tell people it's the same act that ran on the other end of the dinner table ... he was amazingly in character for his entire life," Brian said. "He was himself whether at home or in front of the television camera."
At 92-years old, the journalist and writer promises he's not retiring, but he will be leaving the airwaves and signing off for the last time. But while he was heartfelt, gracious and appreciative of all the success he's found in his life and career, it wouldn't be Andy Rooney if he didn't offer a few complaints.
He hates it when people shout 'Hey Andy!' in the streets, and after saying thank you to all his fans, he left them with one piece of advice. "If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner."
In the clip, Rooney laments the need for warnings not to eat detergent and crusades against the cotton balls that come packaged in pill bottles. He proudly states that he'll never trim his eyebrows and wonders just how varied mix nuts are. All in all, it's a great reminder of what made Andy Rooney America's slightly perturbed next-door neighbor.
"I've tried to correct what's wrong with the world over the years, and it's discouraging to note what little effect I've had," Rooney observes. "They're still putting cotton in pill bottles."
Any semblance of lucidity Rooney may have employed in ... I guess (?) what was once considered clever or funny or - at the very least - entertaining material has most assuredly fallen to the wayside. The scraps with which we've been left are, indeed, entertaining, but not for the reasons Rooney (or the producers of 60 Minutes) probably intended.
I'm sure we'll all be giving some of our favorite TV quotes of the year at some point this week or next. Over at TV Newser, Brian is collecting some of the best quotes from the world of network and cable news.
"You're either Edward R. Murrow or you're Pat O'Brien from The Insider. Pick one." - Tucker Carlson, to Anderson Cooper.
Tucker, Tucker, Tucker. This same exact quote could be said about you.
After the jump, some more of my of my favorites.
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