Burt Bacharach

Oh man, I've been patiently twiddling my thumbs for the last 3 hours until the finale aired on the West Coast, so I could finally post this. Taylor Hicks is our new American Idol, and I couldn't be happier. Well, I could be (sigh...Chris). But if I can't have Chris, then I'm happy with the Silver Fox. (I hate that nickname by the way. It makes me feel like I've got a crush on an old man. What's the opposite of being a pedophile? Is there a word for that? 'Cause I might have it.) They really took it down to the last minute too. I was biting my nails at 1 hour and 59 minutes, worried that my TiVo was about to pop up with the dreaded "Erase Now? or Save?" quandary. I felt like I was Mr. Eko on Lost, watching that damn clock. But right at the final seconds, Ryan said Taylor's name. Yes! The crazy windmill-dancing bastard pulled it off! I understand why Taylor's dad was crying, but why was David Hasselhoff?

(S05E10) In Monday's fun-filled episode of The Apprentice, the Scooby gangs oversee the grand openings of two different hair salons. The title of the episode is 'Blow Out'. The Bravo cable network has a reality show named Blow Out, which focuses on the antics of a Hollywood hair salon and its owner. Bravo is owned by Universal, which also runs NBC.

Hmm. I smell network synergy.

Oh, before we begin the bloodletting I wanted to mention a few things that we learned this episode:

• Everyone thinks that Lee is a born politician;
• Trump thinks Tarek is a schmuck (but we all knew that already);
• For the millionth time, that's Donald Trump's real friggin' hair!

And now, the jello mold we call The Apprentice.