Before I begin, I would like to inform you on something: I had an audition of my very own this week to decide who was going to be my fish of the month. (Usually, my fish only last for about a month.) Luckily, I have welcomed Vinny the Beta Fish into my home, and we are off to a great start.

We start our second week off in good ol' Memphis. Thank God I once had a spelling bee with the word Memphis, or we could have been in some serious spelling trouble. It was absolutely another drama-filled hour of television.
Sixteen-year-old Timika Sims kept us so entertained with her complete lack of personality and pronunciation, and she was able to top it off by sounding absolutely nothing like her idol, Ashanti. The issue here is Ashanti isn't that good to begin with, so to sound even worse was a little frightening.

Something lit a fire under the folks in Memphis tonight. Maybe because the odds favor finding someone from the 16,000 who showed up, or maybe just because Jesus decided to audition too? Who knows, but there was some damn fine talent finally!

I actually really liked Jesus, Osama, or Sean (whatever he calls himself) and Sundance, who -- now that I think about it -- looks a lot like Satan. I wonder, though, aside from bringing heaven and hell together, what American Idol will be able to do for these guys once the show is over. I'm sad to say I don't know how much their individuality will matter to me once I've seen them in a Ford commercial or do one of those song-and-dance numbers. I'm trying to forget how many times I had to throw up my jazz hands.