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October 24, 2014

Chuck Norris

Kathie Lee Tells a Bad Chuck Norris Joke on 'Today' (VIDEO)

by Donald Deane, posted May 13th 2011 1:00PM
Kathie Lee Tells a Bad Chuck Norris Joke on 'Today'Thanks to the now-legendary internet meme of Chuck Norris facts, funny jokes about the actor abound. This, however, isn't one of them. On 'Today' (weekdays, 7AM ET on NBC), Kathie Lee Gifford told a bad Norris joke that only received a handful of weak chuckles from those in the studio.

"Chuck Norris was sitting around a fire with two grizzled, old Texas cowboys ..." began Gifford. The joke only got worse from there, and, for its punchline, had Norris stirring a campfire with his manhood.

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Wilmer Valderrama Talks Buying Chuck Norris' House -- with the Total Gym (VIDEO)

by Aimee Deeken, posted Jan 27th 2011 7:30AM
Wilmer Valderrama Talks Chuck Norris on 'Chelsea Lately'In 2005, at the height of the satirical "Chuck Norris Facts" Internet phenomenon, the actor/martial arts expert put his house on the market. A friend of Wilmer Valderrama's happened to be the real estate agent.

"This is when like the Chuck Norris jokes were at its best," said Valderrama on 'Chelsea Lately' (weeknights, 11PM ET on E!). "I have to see how this guy lives."

When they came to the home's gym room, "the only thing that was there in the center of the gym was a Total Gym surrounded by mirrors," he said.

Chelsea Handler laughed. "That is exactly what I would think!" Well, at least it seems the Total Gym spokesman really believes in the product. And not only did Valderrama get a good laugh out of the visit, he bought the property.

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So, are you going to buy an Apple TV?

by Jay Black, posted Jan 16th 2008 8:22AM
It's pretty, but is it worth taking home to mama -- concidentally, this is what women say about me!Steve Jobs, for a lot of us, is kind of like Chuck Norris, except all the things that Chuck can supposedly do... well, Steve can actually do them. This is a man who once beat Magnus ver Magnusson in an arm-wrestling match with his left hand while designing a new iPod Nano with his right. The man's got game.

That being said, even he admitted yesterday during his Macworld keynote speech that the original Apple TV was kind of a flop. It was pricey and clumsy and not very popular at all. Yesterday's announcement of Apple TV (take two) acknowledged the flaws of the first machine and promised to make things right for consumers.

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Family Guy: Boys Do Cry

by Brett Love, posted Apr 30th 2007 11:59AM
family guy(S05E15) After better than a month off, finally a new episode of Family Guy. I'm not sure I understand the thinking behind the scheduling of the show this year, but the list of behaviors from the networks that I don't understand is a long one. So, we'll take what we can get. Whatever the reasoning, it was nice to have the Griffins back with a fresh adventure.

I think I probably came into this one with my expectations set a little high. Those previews that revealed the family packing up and taking a trip put the thought in the back of my mind that this could be one of those classic episodes. It called to mind the season three episode "To Love and Die in Dixie." Unfortunately, now having seen it, it wasn't a classic.

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The Stephen Colbert Bridge needs you!

by Annie Wu, posted Aug 10th 2006 7:08PM
Stephen ColbertDuring last night's episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen called for his fans' help once again. I guess after the whole Wikipedia incident, he realized that he has great power over his viewers, most of whom are quite willing to do his Internet-bidding. This time around, Stephen found a website taking votes in naming a Hungarian bridge over the Danube River. After seeing that one of the names leading the polls is Chuck Norris, Stephen realized that it could just as well be the Stephen Colbert Bridge. Alright, that's where we come in. Check out this site with step-by-step directions to navigate through the website (which is totally in Hungarian) and get voting! And if you don't vote, then I've got to ask... "Why do you hate America?... And Hungary?"

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Live 24 Chat Location

by Ryan j Budke, posted Mar 13th 2006 7:59PM
24; jack bauer; kiefer sutherland; foxThis week is a tough one folks-- the immortal Jack Bauer versus the Bearded one himself, Chuck Norris. Spend all this valuable time and space with your thoughts on how that fight would play out, then join me right back here to this very post at 8pm EST where I'll unveil the secret location for the live 24 chat room. I'll be there under the id of TVSRyan and some of the other TV Squadders will probably stop by as well. Kim's back, Edgar's dead, and someone else bites it tonight. Did I just say that out loud...? Come join me tonight at 8pm and we'll find out together what's going down.

UPDATE:
Come one, come all;  here is the secret location for our 24 Chat! See you inside.

Disclaimer: All or parts of the discussion in this chatroom may be posted in a later column on this site.

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Live 24 Chat Location

by Ryan j Budke, posted Jan 30th 2006 7:54PM
24; Jack Bauer; Kiefer Sutherland; FoxNew week, new hour in the day of, the one, the only, Jack Bauer. The 24 Live Chats have been getting such a great reaction, that we're going to be doing them on a permanent basis. So as long as you guys keep demanding them and we keep getting a good turnout, we'll keep doing them. Make sure you check back to TV Squad tonight at 8pm EST, and we'll unveil the location of the chat room. As with all of our chats, you must be using either AOL's AIM or a compatible chat client (GAIM, Trillian, etc) to enter the room. I'll be in there under the user ID of TVSRyan and Tom Biro (TVSquadTom) will probably be joining us this week again as well. Just think, after tonight, we'll already be a 1/4 of the way done with what may be Jack's final day. Funny how time flies. Come join us tonight as we help Jack Bauer make it through one more day. Gravitas!

UPDATE:
Come one, come all;  here is the secret location for our 24 Chat! See you inside.

Disclaimer: All or parts of the discussion in this chatroom may be posted in a later column on this site.

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Chuck Norris on Chuck Norris "facts"

by Annie Wu, posted Jan 12th 2006 8:34AM
Chuck NorrisA few weeks ago, when I needed some cheering up, my friend sent me a link to something called Random Chuck Norris Fact. Definitely boosted my mood. Within minutes, I was laughing until my sides hurt. Lately, this (and other "fact" generators, including the Vin Diesel version) have been making rounds on the Internet. A few of my favorite "facts" include "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried", "Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one", and just about anything that has to do with round-house kicking. With the site spreading like wildfire across the information superhighway, it must eventually make its way to the Ranger himself, right? Right.

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