I love Christmas. It is the best holiday. If all of the holidays grew asses, Christmas could kick every other holiday's ass by ripping off their ass and beating them to death with said ass.

It's perfect on every conceivable level. It aims to achieve total peace and tranquility of the human spirit and singularity of the soul through the selfless act of giving. Of course, in order for that to work, someone has to be on the receiving end and I'm more than willing to have my every dream fulfilled in the name of calming the cosmic waves.

So here's my wish list to Santa or Jesus or Buddha or whomever holds the universe in balance for things to suck less until the next holiday.