When networks get desperate for ratings, they look to one place -- the past. What worked before has to work again, right?

So, it's no surprise that the networks, both broadcast and cable, keep digging up TV's graveyard to reanimate undead shows and turn them into unholy creations that will eventually turn on their masters. One or two might break through the pack and become a menial hit, but the rest are doomed to become worm food once again.

All you have to do is look back at TV's extremely checkered past of "re-imagined" classics to know that trying to cash in on kitschy nostalgia can stick you with a whole lotta nothing.

These six attempts to bring back the dead, however, are below the bottom of the barrel, the lower of the lowest of the low, the best of the worst. That means they will never have a chance of being remade EVER AGAIN. (We can only hope.)

When I was a kid, I remember seeing episodes of a couple of strange British shows on my local PBS affiliate in Rochester, NY. I never caught them regularly, not even sure when they aired, but I remember one of them was a peculiar little period piece with some funny gags, and a storyline I never completely grasped.

I learned later this first show was the classic Blackadder series with Rowan Atkinson, and the reason the storylines never made sense from show to show is that there are four seasons of the show, all taking place in a different historical period. I saw them out of order, and mostly caught the first season.

Watching the new Black Adder Remastered - The Ultimate Edition DVD set from BBC America (video and audio both remastered), it's clear the best way to watch Blackadder is to at least watch each series in order. And if you can watch the whole run in order, so much the better. From the first series set in the Dark Ages to the last set in World War I (Blackadder Goes Forth), Atkinson's character, Blackadder, remains a scheming coward. But he changes, too.

While most studios usually wait until Christmas to put out their top DVD releases, this year it seems as though they've decided that Halloween is good enough as today brings us a wide selection of delicious television treats. Of course, we doubt your neighbors will want to hand these out no matter how nicely you ask, but if you have the money you might want to take a look for yourself.

Because for fans of good TV, today really is Christmas in October.

Here are the new TV DVDs, in stores tomorrow.

I wasn't even aware that there was already a Fawlty Towers complete set out. Or maybe I knew it and forgot and didn't get reminded of it until I heard about the new remastered set that comes out tomorrow. I'm gonna get that.

I'm also tempted to get Vegas, just because I liked that show and haven't seen it in years. I hate these "Volume" sets though. Just give us the whole season!

• Black Adder - Black Adder 1, II, III, IV, and V (All remastered) and Ultimate Edition
• Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Complete Series (New package)
• Eleventh Hour - Complete Series
• Faerie Tale Theatre - Bedtime Tales and Magical Tales
  

According to Twitter, John Cleese is recovering from successful eye surgery in the U.K.

Following a procedure on his left eye, Cleese handed his Tweets over to a friend, Garry Scott-Irvine. That buddy is keeping fans updated on the Monty Python and Fawlty Towers legend's condition. Fans sent scores of well-wishes to Cleese as he heals up in a British hospital.

The 69-year-old comedian is reportedly in good health otherwise and looking to head home later this week. His chosen method of communication is ironic when you consider Cleese sells a t-shirt on his site entitled: "WTF is Twitter?"

John Cleese, Connie Booth, Prunella Scales and Andrew Sachs reunited for the filming of a Fawlty Towers reunion. At first I'd hoped it was new material, but sadly it was more of a retrospective than an actual new episode. Mind you, it would be pretty unique to wait thirty years to film the third season of a show.

There have been attempts to make an American version of Fawlty Towers, starring such names as the recently departed Bea Arthur and John Larroquette. Somehow, they never managed to equal the brilliant writing of the original.

OK, this is a bit confusing; this BBC article says that John Cleese is retiring from writing and performing sitcoms, because nothing he could do would top the genius of his 1970s Britcom Fawlty Towers. In addition, he cites the fact that most sitcoms these days are not funny because they're written with U.S. teenagers in mind. The article goes on to say Cleese will publish a book on the history of comedy and teach classes on how to properly make people laugh.

Here's the confusing part: does this mean we won't see Cleese in movies or narrating documentaries anymore? The article said he wouldn't be in sitcoms anymore, but others, including a career summary on the BBC says he's retiring from performing completely, though the article does conclude that we will see him in other work. Hm. Considering the last time Cleese was in a Britcom was four years ago, this might not be such big news after all.