The CW's got some funny sitcoms both old (Everybody Hates Chris) and new (Aliens in America -- more on that later), but the network's funniest asset is Paul McGuire, executive vice president, network communications.

Before introducing Dawn Ostroff, president entertainment, The CW, McGuire fires off some zingers to get the reporters up and running.

Of the recycled tote bags that The CW gave to the press (perfect for hauling all our cable swag home), McGuire quips, "They're made entirely from recycled billboards, including some from Hidden Palms -- or as some dirt bag reporter called it -- 'Hidden Ratings.'"

Early June, I reported in TV Squad's Spoilers Anonymous feature that when Smallville would return in September the Daily Planet would have a new editor. The show was looking for an "extremely hot thirtysomething actor" to play this new character who would be featured in six of the first eight episodes and could become Lois Lane's new love interest.

TV Guide's Michael Ausiello reports that Hidden Palms' Michael Cassidy landed the role.

(S01E08) It's a bit ironic when the show that ends up being your unexpected series finale is called "Second Chances." Unfortunately there will be no second chances for Hidden Palms, and this ends up being the swan song for the series. I was fortunate enough to meet Sharon Lawrence at a party recently, and she said the show definitely isn't coming back. Curse you, CW! Now where will I turn for my need for teens in angst-ridden TV shows? Oh, thats right ... The CW.

• Sci-Fi has a Twilight Zone marathon all day and night, while The History Channel has a marathon of Revolution.
• TCM has Yankee Doodle Dandy at 5:30, followed by The Howards of Virginia and 1776.
• At 8, PBS has A Capitol Fourth, with Tony Danza, Bebe Neuwirth, Elliot Yamin, Yolanda Adams, and Hayden Penttiere from Heroes. Wow, did they just pick names out of a celebrity hat or something?
• The CW has a new Hidden Palms at 8.
• At 9, NBC has the Macy's Fourth of July Spectacular, followed by a new Dateline.
• TBS has two new episodes of Tyler Perry's House of Payne starting at 9.
• At 10, CBS has the Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular.

Check your local TV listings for more.

(S01E07) Well, speak of the devil. Last episode I was wishing for Jesse Jo to pop in and drop his Southern-style of sass all over the place. Sadly, he was nowhere to be found. But this episode opens with Jesse Jo in rare form. He's having Nikki tease up his wig collection to keep her mind off of Cliff, when Cliff himself appears at the door. He asks if he can speak to Nikki, and Jesse tells him, "I wuz wonderin' what you'd look like with a round of buckshot in your narrow behind." Zing!

(S01E06) Whoa. At first I felt like I'd been riding a roller coaster during this episode, then it turned into a merry-go-round that kept spinning and wouldn't stop. Then I thought I was going to hurl. When it all came to an end, I was left feeling dizzy, lost, and confused. Probably what Johnny feels like on a daily basis.

Seriously, have you ever seen a character in a TV show who is more easy to manipulate than Johnny? Cliff sweet talks him, and he's all chummy with him again. Liza tells him something, then he's doubting Cliff once more. Greta gives him another tidbit of info, and he's not sure if he believes her or not. He's a bit like Hamlet in that respect. If he just would've listened to his dad's ghost and stayed on course, everything would have ended up a-okay.

• At 8, ABC has a new The Next Best Thing, then new episodes of American Inventor and Traveler.
• FOX has a new, two-hour So You Think You Can Dance at 8.
• The CW has two new episodes of Hidden Palms starting at 8.
• Also at 8: Patton Oswalt guests on Emeril Live, on Food Network.
• At 9, NBC has a new Last Comic Standing, followed by a new Dateline.
• Paris Hilton talks to Larry King at 9 on CNN.
• TBS has two new episodes of Tyler Perry's House of Payne at 9.
• The Travel Channel has a new World Poker Tour at 9.
• BBC America has a new Footballers at 9.
• At 10, History Channel has a new Modern Marvels.
• There's a new Top Chef on Bravo at 10.
• FX has a new Rescue Me at 10.
• At 10:30, Comedy Central has a new Lil' Bush.

Check your local TV listings for more.

(S01E05) We get a new guest star this week when Greta's dad (Kyle Secor) pops into town, not only does he know something about Greta's mysterious past (does anyone in town not know about this by now?), but he's a bit of a bastard as well. Suffice it to say, if you find yourself guest-starring on Hidden Palms, your character is probably going to have problems. You'll either be a substance abuser, have something to do with Eddie's murder / suicide, or you'll be part of Johnny's past ... or some combination of the three.

(S01E04) Holy cow ... this episode took a turn for the weird. I really didn't picture Liza as the weirdly stalkery kind of person. That Photoshopped picture of her and Eddie together sure was a slap in the face. Plus, what exactly is she concocting in that garage of hers? I'm a sucker for science geek girls, but I'd also hope they weren't going to end up blowing themselves up at some point, or spend too much time with toxic fumes. I thought we'd find out what Liza beneath, but what she reveals is just about the most predictable thing you could imagine. What happened to all the mystery and intrigue from the pilot?

• At 8, ABC has a new The Next Best Thing, followed by new episodes of American Inventor and Traveler.
• CBS has the new special AFI's 100 Years...100 Movies at 8.
• NBC has two new episodes of Last Comic Standing starting at 8, then a new Dateline.
• FOX has a new, two-hour So You Think You Can Dance at 8.
• There's a new Hidden Palms on The CW at 8, then another new episode.
• At 9, Discovery has a new Mythbusters, followed by two new episodes of Cash Cab.
• Sci-Fi has a new Ghost Hunters at 9.
• The Travel Channel has a new World Poker Tour at 9.
• At 10, The History Channel has a new Modern Marvels.
• On Food Network at 10, a new Good Eats has Alton Brown looking at the world of pretzels.
• Also at 10: FX has a new Rescue Me.

Check your local TV listings for more.

First I thought this would be a summer filled with possibly watching one or two summer series, and then catching up on the growing stack of books in my "to be read" pile ... but somehow it's morphed into the "DVR + TV shows on DVD Summer of Rock " *fanfare*. It's actually not that dramatic, but I like to stick fanfare in whenever I can. Theme songs are one thing, but fanfare can pepper mundane events with joy. "Here's your latte, sir." *fanfare* See what I mean?

(S01E03) And we're back! Due to a little syndrome called "My TiVo decided to record the Lifetime channel instead of Hidden Palms," this week's episode review was a bit late. Hopefully you've been tiding yourself over by watching this bee-yotch filled episode a couple of times.

Cliff managed to get popped in the face a couple of times, once by Greta and once by Johnny, but man ... I really wanted to see someone bitchslap the "hee hee I'm a drunken floozy" look right off of Nikki's face. That girl is trouble with a capital Jack Daniels. Who knew she'd be throwing a rager at Johnny's house in the short period of time he took to go see Greta. Plus, wasn't it Cliff who invited all the other delinquents? Still, all things considered, the part I felt the worst about was poor Liza getting snubbed, yet again. At least she got to rub lotion on Johnny this time.

I don't know if I had a premonition, but when I watched the Hidden Palms screener last summer I predicted that the series wouldn't last long. The CW somewhat made my prediction come true earlier this week when they announced the series would wrap up sooner.

Hidden Palms was first slated to be a mid-season show and 13 episodes had been ordered. During production, the show's episode number was lowered to 8 and CW decided to keep it for the summer.

(S01E02) Okay, I should probably point out that I live in Los Angeles, which is a mere two hours from Palm Springs. I've been out to the sunbaked resort-land of palm trees and golf courses ... and the place is hot. I mean, really, really hot. They push triple digits constantly, and everything outside is blasted by the sunlight. If you're not inside sitting inside near an arctic air conditioner, then you're outside trying to stay as submerged as possible in a (hopefully) cool swimming pool.

This episode made me feel some of that heat. When they visit the pool in this episode at the country club, you can almost feel it pouring out of the screen, and you'll start to sweat despite yourself. Am I crazy? Quite possibly. Delirious? For sure ... but I blame it on the heat.

• At 8, ABC has a new The Next Best Thing: Who Is The Greatest Celebrity Impersonator?, followed by the season premiere of American Inventor and a new Traveler.
• NBC has the Senators/Ducks game at 8.
• The CW has a new Hidden Palms at 8, then a new One Tree Hill.
• At 9, FOX has a new So You Think You Can Dance.
• TBS has the series premiere of Tyler Perry's House of Payne at 9, followed by another new episode.
• There's a new Mythbusters on Discovery at 9.
• The Travel Channel has a new World Poker Tour at 9.
• Also at 9: Sci-Fi has the season premiere of Ghost Hunters, then a new Destination Truth.
• At 10, Food Network has a new Good Eats.
• There's a new Top Chef on Bravo at 10, where cast members from the first two seasons compete for charity.

Check your local TV listings for more.