"I'm going to give you a hint," he said. "It doesn't take batteries."
Ray cracked up, and waved her arms as if to shake off the dirty joke. But soon things came into focus, she Ray realized the mystery object was indeed actually a toothpick holder that looked something like a catcus.
Why, what were you thinking it was?!
Long-haired Frank then goes on to dominate the course. He avoids such challenges as giant condoms popping out of doors (or at least, that's what it looks like -- we're not really sure), and being punched in the face with boxing gloves. And in the end ...
... Frank wins the show! Congrats. He makes this statement upon winning the $50,000 prize: "GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH." Excellent! And well put, Frank!
"Goodbye, boobies!" Michael yells, as he stands at the starting line of the 'Wipeout' obstacle course. But first, host Jill Wagner wants to check this "moobs" situation out. Michael pulls up his shirt, and Jill reaches out towards Mike's pendulous, heaving ... male bosoms. Which is when the 'Wipeout' announcers start screaming: "No! Jill! Cut to Camera Two!"
Will Michael win the contest, and the 50,000 bucks? Will he achieve his impossible dream of getting smaller male breasts? Will he ever reduce his cup size? You'll have to watch the clip to find out.
Contestant Andrea Brache is a professional ballerina. So she's probably very limber and stuff. And that may or may not help her on this show. Will she be a good contestant? Maybe. Or maybe not.
Or maybe -- as seems much more likely -- we might just see her be embarrassed on national television. It's all par for the course on 'Wipeout'!
The 'Wipeout' hosts have a million jokes to make about the poor girl's name. Meanwhile, we get to watch her being knocked off the obstacle course and being bashed into a pool of water, as is pretty standard for players on the game show. But let's return to the whole "Funke-Ho" issue for a second. ... Or would you like to make up your own jokes?
"That is one funky ho," says host Jill Wagner. Meanwhile, Ms. Funke-Ho is busy jumping around on giant balls in the obstacle course. Seriously, if you're having trouble coming up with jokes at this point, then we don't know what to say to you.
The latest episode of the show (Tue., 8PM ET on ABC) introduces a new version of an obstacle course stunt. It's called the "Blob Launch" and it's ... a giant inflated pillow that sits in the water. People and weights are dropped onto it from several stories up, and the waiting contestant is then launched into the air by the force of the blow, to crash randomly somewhere upon impact.
The show is narrated by John Henson, a truly funny person who was once the host of 'The Soup.' Now, he makes jokes over a soundtrack of fake sound effects. ... Can we all pause to shed a tear for the career of Mr. Henson?
Quan starts out strong, ducking obstacles, bouncing on top of giant 'Mario Bros.'-style mushroom things, and even dodging random garbage that is thrown at him by a man dressed up as a knight. (And if you're expecting any of this to make sense, then you're watching the wrong show.) But in the end, Quan ...
... Loses to another guy and does not get the $50,000 prize. Sad! We had such high hopes. Well, maybe the 2,000th player will do better. Or the 3,000th.
But magically, it all works out! Jill is the proud mother of a new nine-pound baby. Not only does she survive the obstacle course, but she excels at it. She beats all the other contestants, and wins the $50,000 prize.
As an added benefit, if you want to see a new mom get repeatedly hit in the head and knocked into huge pools of water, well, you've come to the right place. And also, that's a slightly odd thing to want to see, but hey -- this is reality TV.
But seriously, congrats to Jill! That's an incredibly impressive feat on her part, and she won $50,000. Maybe she can put it into a college fund for her new child.
The reality game show 'Wipeout' (Tue., 8PM ET on ABC) is often kind of painful and terrifying. If you want to see people being hit in the face and being knocked into pools of mud and water, then you've definitely come to the right place.
The new season of 'Wipeout' has upgraded its obstacle course -- which means even more pain for its contestants. We get to see women and men being horribly pummeled over and over again. Awesome.
And by the way, 'Wipeout' kind of reminds us of a grown-up version of 'Double Dare.' Which leads us to ask this question -- can someone please bring back 'Double Dare'? Does anyone even remember that show? It was great. It featured green slime and kids climbing through twenty-foot tall peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. What a cool, cool show.
Contestant Jen says that she's looking for an "athletic" guy, but her blind date partner Paul falls a little short in that department. In the meantime, Jen turns out to be the true athlete, bouncing and backflipping off of giant mushroom-looking things in the obstacle course. It looks like she's in a real-life version of a video game; 'Super Mario Bros.' maybe, for example.
The judges are suitably impressed. "Wow," is the reaction to Jen's performance. "W-O-W."
A video game version of the popular ABC game show is headed to the Nintendo Wii and the DS. An official release date has not yet been set.
David Oxford of Activision Publishing said in a released statement, "Watching ABC's 'Wipeout' on TV is outrageous fun, and viewers can't help but dream of trying the obstacles themselves. We designed the video game with this in mind. 'Wipeout: The Game' brings all of the challenge and laugh-out-loud hilarity without the pain."
I assume he means the emotional pain and not the physical, unless of course someone catches you playing it in public.
It's not that she's not talented, successful or funny. It's just an odd choice, putting a comedian on the show that takes its goal of crushing losers' dreams on live television so seriously. It would evoke the same reaction from me if they picked Andrew "Dice" Clay as the new judge, if the Diceman was talented, successful or funny.
And besides, why do they need humor and comedy on such an otherwise serious show? There are lots of humorless, vapid and downright boring shows that are crying out for comedic interjection.
A lot of other people like the summer show too, and now ABC has announced that the show has been renewed for a third season.
|It's brilliant!||307 (27.8%)|
|It's stupid!||309 (28.0%)|
|It's probably stupid but I love it anyway||489 (44.3%)|
So I watched a repeat of the first episode of ABC's new game show Wipeout, and I'm not sure what to think of it. Like most American males, I like seeing people* fall from high, wet places and get punched in the face, but I'm not sure how many weeks I can watch the thing. I'm also not happy with the plugged-in comments from the hosts (John Henson and John Anderson) we have to listen to. For every really funny comment there are seven that make you groan. And I wonder if the show will just grow tired after a few weeks.
But there's no denying that there are some wild stunts here. Everytime someone goes sailing off that ramp in the dark or bounces on those giant balls and their body jackknifes and hits the water I'm thinking, these people could easily break their necks. Sure, Survivor has crazy challengs and Fear Factor had nutty stunts, but this stuff seems especially dangerous. And that's why ABC has them sign a 50 page release.
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