Jon and Kate Plus 8 Cars

Another tiresome, spotlight hugging celebrity has passed from the glow of the paparazzi flashbulb into the fray of the forgotten. Well, maybe, a man can dream.

Jon Gosselin, one of the two soul-sucking parents of the TLC reality show 'Jon & Kate Plus 8,' has settled his lawsuit with TLC for backing out of his contract for his reality show.

The news gets even better. Since Jon is still under contract for the network, he can't return to television anytime soon. Looks like Santa got my letter after all.

It's been said it would happen over and over and over and over again, but it finally looks like the merciful end is finally near.

An attorney for Jon Gosselin says his client's divorce could be final by as early as next month.

That giant breeze that just blew through your window wasn't the cold winter Christmas weather. It was the collective sigh of relief of an entire country.

Call it a sign of a successful show or the end of an unmitigated disaster, but the reign of Jon & Kate is officially over and joy has replaced tyranny in the universe.

In short, TLC's newest reality hit Cake Boss has officially taken over the coveted 9 p.m. slot on Mondays vacated by Satan's favorite show, Jon & Kate Plus 8.

For those of you who have not left your cave in the last month, Jon & Kate officially left the airwaves last Monday thereby stitching the hole that its pure evilness created in the annals of time and space and staving off the unholy apocalypse. And in case your wondering, no, I never liked the show.