During a case on 'Judge Alex' (weekdays, syndicated), a defendant alleges that the plaintiff referred to a woman as having an "apple bottom," causing the judge to turn to bailiff Victor Simon for an explanation of the term.

"I think it's a big, old booty," Simon said.

"I'm sorry. I had to go to my dictionary here," the judge said, gesturing to Simon.

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Judge Alex Ferrer, never afraid to tell it like it is, did his best to make sense of a case involving a phone sex user who ran up charges on his grandmother's phone bill.

"This is grandmother's house, I don't even know that I can get in that kind of mood at grandmother's house," the good judge said on 'Judge Alex' (weekdays, syndicated).

The sex chatter's defensive? He snuck into his grandmother's house, she didn't know he was there. Yeah, that makes it all better.

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Judge Alex Ferrer has had his share of odd defendants, but on Tuesday's edition of the 'Judge Alex' show (weekdays, syndicated), he seems to have met one of the least luckiest defendants of all time. The man involved in the case cursed out a police officer on the phone and then had the bad luck of having that same police officer come to his door. It seemed like he was proud of that fact. And then was proud to get arrested, we guess. (Or was he just laughing at himself?)

A couple of quick thoughts for the defendant: (1) Don't curse at the police. (2) The word "phone" is pronounced "phone." It is not pronounced like this: "Fh-oooone." (3) Stay away from Judge Alex. He savors the irony of your situation and thinks it's priceless.

Watch the video after the jump.

Where on earth do they get the people who show up on these judge shows? It doesn't matter if it's 'Judge Judy,' 'Judge Joe Brown,' or the subject of this particular video, 'Judge Alex' (weekdays, syndicated). Most of the folks who appear before the judges are just plain crazy.

A plaintiff provided videotape of his mother-in-law mooning him – twice – on the roadside. She threw in some cursing to kick things up a notch. There are just so many things wrong with this, not the least of which is the woman wasn't wearing any underwear. That's just wrong.

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A plaintiff on 'Judge Alex' (weekdays, syndicated) flirts with bailiff Victor Simon, pausing in the middle of her testimony to show him a pair of high heels and ask whether he finds them sexy.

"They're sexy," Simon replied, clearly enjoying the attention.

"Actually, those are standard issue for the nurses in your dreams, aren't they?" Judge Alex asked Simon.

Watch the video after the jump.

Things get heated between a plaintiff and defendant on 'Judge Alex' (weekdays, syndicated), before the judge interrupts and criticizes their poor conduct.

Clearly irritated, the judge accuses the two of behaving like children, then scolds them for arguing. "You sound like idiots," he said.

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A pastor attempting to reclaim a loan from his ex-wife on 'Judge Alex' (weekdays, syndicated) was questioned by Judge Alex Ferrer about his philosophy on sex, marriage and consummation. "What is your viewpoint about premarital sex as a pastor," Ferrer asked.

"According to theology, it's consummation that makes your marriage anyway," the pastor replied. "So is that a yes or a no for premarital sex," Ferrer asked. "I believe in it," the pastor responded." "You have to try it before you buy it." But when he was asked if he had had premarital sex with his ex-wife, the pastor conveniently drew a blank.

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By a vote of 8-1, the highest court in the land has ruled against Alex Ferrer, Judge Alex. Now, we're not talking the Emmy judges, ruling against the TV show. This is the real legal business, not the Let's Make A Deal-justice of the sort Judge Alex is all about. The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled against him. Ferrer, star of the syndicated court show Judge Alex, a former police officer and Florida judge, had brought a case before the high court involving a dispute over commissions he supposedly owed to a former associate, Arnold Preston.