A faulty memory in court is no excuse, especially when it relates to the destruction of a laptop via the voiding of one's bladder. A young defendant is accused of urinating on a laptop on 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated), but when the judge asks him to explain the incident, the man claims to have no memory it ever happened.

The defendant, who's being sued for damages to the tune of $1,339.75, argues that he can't recall the events allegedly involving the computer and his "liquid ballast." "Judge, I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't even remember any of this," he said.

Watch the video after the jump.

The judge lays into a young female defendant after she admits to the theft of another woman's purse on 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated).

The defendant, who looks barely old enough to have legally obtained the classy tattoo she's sporting on her neck, admits to stealing the purse because the other woman had been speaking ill of her grandmother.

Watch the video after the jump.

Don't mess with Judge Joe Brown.

After all our years watching 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated), we've come to determine that we're more than happy staying on the audience side of things. The defendant and Judge Brown weren't seeing eye-to-eye and the good judge simply had it.

"You don't even understand 'cause you're a fool," Judge Brown said. "And if you keep up this attitude, in a few year you'll be a damned fool." Yeah, we were sort of waiting for him to go full Mr. T, but this was quite entertaining on its own.

Catch the video after the jump.

Joe Brown has entirely too much fun with a man's unfortunate surname on 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated), using it over and over until he cracks himself up.

Brown uses the man's surname, which is "Weenie," repeatedly until he breaks into laughter and has to pause to draw a breath. Real mature, Judge.

Watch the video after the jump.

Judge Joe Brown takes a very dim view of people who flout the law or take advantage of others. On the latest episode of 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated), he confronts a dance club girl about her failure to pay back a loan from a male co-worker.

Watch the video after the jump.

Some people just don't listen.

A woman -- the litigant's mother and a witness -- gets the Judge all riled up when she continually talks out of turn on Monday's 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated).

"Stop. Stop. Stop. I'm running this show," the Judge yells as the woman keeps running off at the mouth. "This is not the beauty salon. This is not the barber shop. Are you listening to me?"

(Dis)order in the court!

Watch the video after the jump.

A man on 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated) earns no sympathy from the judge toward his defense when he admits he's 34-years-old and still lives at home with his mother.

"Son, you're in your middle thirties. You shouldn't be living at home with mama ... I remember a day when nobody would admit it," Brown said, mimicking the man and mocking his attempts to come off like a devoted son. "That doesn't look too good," the judge said.

Watch the video after the jump.

You know, if you can't figure out the simplest math question, it just makes it worse when you say, "I'm not stupid." Because clearly, you are, and saying that only makes you seem more stupid.

But the defendant on 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated) probably doesn't get it and never will. It makes it all worthwhile, though, to see Judge Brown lose it in a fit of laughter.

Watch the video after the jump.

Don't wig out on this one.

Two ladies faced off on 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated) over money and a hair weave.

The plaintiff loaned the defendant money for eviction costs but instead of paying the money back, the defendant allegedly went out and bought a blonde wig. "And she's out there shakin it up on the dance floor," the plaintiff said. "New hair, New clothes. And she owes me the money. So I approached her and she was swingin' all that hair at me so I wanted to find out how much of my money is in her hair."

Judge Brown seemed sympathetic to the plaintiff, so we're sure that he wouldn't be pulling out any hair over this verdict.

Watch the video after the jump.

You don't need a high-powered lawyer to realize that courtroom behavior like this will get you absolutely nowhere. On 'Judge Joe Brown' (weekdays, syndicated), a defendant mouths off to the judge and gets arrested.

The man's behavior is so out-of-order that the judge fines him a total of $300 for impertinence, then promises to forward his case to the local district attorney for review. Eventually, the angry defendant unleashes a string of profanity and makes to leave the courtroom, but not before being placed under arrest for making threats.

Watch the video after the jump.

Not to worry -- this isn't about Simon, Randy, or Paula. I'm not talking American Idol here. Nah, I'm talking real people, real cases, true litigants ... and so much more! You see, I'm generally off from my day job one weekday a week. Of course I have to watch television. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it, right?

I just never got into soap operas. Well, there was that period decades ago when I spent the summer home with a broken foot before the advent of the internet. But I digress. What I watch these days during the daytime hours tend to be the judge shows. Well, to digress a moment again -- WGN airs Homicide: Life on the Street at noon here. I can't miss that, of course. But then it's justice served. Who judges the judges? I do, naturally!

%Gallery-14904%