By now you've probably heard about the giant Kanye West brouhaha that happened at the VMA awards last night. I actually heard about it when I got on Twitter right after it happened, and it felt as though the very Internet was going to melt from the inside out, leaving us all twitching in a puddle of rage directed at people whom we will never meet.

I tried to piece together what had happened, and from the responses I was reading, it seemed as though Taylor Swift went up to get her VMA, then Kanye West set her dress on fire, ripped off his clothes, and showed everyone his "Beyonce 4 EVA" tattoo located in a very family-unfriendly place. Then, I'm pretty sure he peed on like, a statue of Jesus or something.

So once I saw the video of what actually happened, imagine my surprise when it turned out all he did was make an ass out of himself on live television. Because, you know, the fact that Kanye West would do that is the BIGGEST SHOCKER OF ALL TIME.