Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia

Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, along with Mark Burnett, is trying to pitch 'Help Me, Martha' as a new reality television program. In it, Martha helps someone who is having a party or "lifestyle issue" get things together. In short, it is the most unreal reality television ever devised.

The show is slightly reminiscent of 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' or even 'The Marriage Ref.' It's great how television assumes that people have no control over their own lives (in truth they don't, but I hardly think making them a television spectacle is going to help).

If you were planning something, would you really want Martha there looking over your shoulder? She comes across as pretty bossy. If your party idea didn't match with hers, she could very well change it around on this television program without your say-so. And if you didn't like it, she'd have to let you go.

Everyone's waiting for the two contestants to come back, and after several hours realize that, oh my God, they've both been eliminated!

Martha calls the contestants and tells them to meet her at her Connecticut home. She explains that she got rid of both Ryan and Marcela. We're down to three. There are no more teams, and each contestant is on their own...