Danke schoen, Yahoo! I've had many a sleepless night since Wayne Newton was sidelined with a recurring heart infection, canceled his holiday gig in Vegas and put his participation in the Dancing with the Stars tour in jeopardy. I have a pile of panties and bras next to my bed ready to go (Because Wayne expects his fans to throw bras and panties at him on stage, of course. Why else would I have so many? Or any at all?).

"I'm thrilled that my doctors have given me the OK to hit the road this winter and perform for all of my fans across the country," Newton announced. The three month tour begins December 18. I'd say more, but I have to go pack all my stuff. I'm going to go Deadhead on this tour and follow them around, smoking ... er ... medicinal herbs, dressing in brightly colored tuxes and getting extensive plastic surgery at each stop. And I'm legally changing my name to Mr. Las Vegas, Jr.