We all know by now that Tyra rules on 'America's Next Top Model' (Wed., 9PM ET on The CW) and that she always gets what she wants.

This week she was feeling capricious and, although she'd previously ordered judge Nigel Barker to grow his hair super-long she announced that she'd changed her mind: "I don't think it's on-brand."

Then she whipped out an orange hairdressing cape, tied it around the neck of a clearly nervous Nigel, and went at it with a pair of electric clippers.

As André Leon Talley looked on in horror and Nigel started to make scared gargling noises, Tyra shaved off a strip right through to the skin in the center of Nigel's 'do.

(S14E05) When 'America's Next Top Model' starts off with a statement about drinking pickle juice and bodily functions, you know there will be something really odd about the episode. Anslee continues to cry through most of the episode, but fortunately for her, Tyra isn't done with airing her emotions on the show, and she doesn't even land in the bottom three.

My biggest concern for this show is the fact that Angelea gets high amounts of praise for looking heavily transsexual. I'm not sure if I get her whole appeal. Whereas Cycle 8 winner Jaslene could look drag, she understood her angles and fixed her chin by the end. Angelea still hasn't been given enough criticism about looking more feminine and could be the winner for 'RuPaul's Drag Race.'

(S13E07) I love watching episodes of America's Next Top Model where contestants think they are amazing and crash and burn by the end of the show. This week, the challenge for the would-be models was the dreaded CoverGirl commercial.

The past few episodes have really become "Let's root for dorky Nicole, dyslexic Laura, and droopy-eyed Jennifer." They don't get bitch edits and even Rae finally realized how cool Nicole's dork-chic can actually be. Sundai and Erin complain about everything, while Brittany and Rae are forgettable. Since all three are favorites, I doubt that Tyra will pick them to win.

(S10E13) The above screencap is the photographic equivalent of a horizontal suck sandwich.

Okay, that's not entirely accurate. The photos of Whitney and Anya are perfectly fine, but my hatred for the individual in the center pretty much taints the picture for me.

And in a broader sense, that's been the overarching flaw with cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model.

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(S10E12) This cycle of America's Top Model has made me want to start up a debilitating heroin addiction.

Week after week my favorites have flown out the door starting with the "excitable" Amis and ending with that travesty of an episode two weeks ago when the distractingly beautiful Kataryzna was yanked for "too being vapid." My words, not theirs.

I can't seem to figure out what the hell the judges are looking for this go around, but I sure can tell you what they got. Want to hear it? Here it goes.

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(S10E10) I accidentally went through last weeks entire recap without a single mention of Lauren going straight Ginsu on her thumb.

I figured I shouldn't make the same mistake two weeks in a row so decided to intro with Anya's faceplant on a brick street..

We heard the requisite record play scratch immediately after she fell. We got Anya's diary room explanation of how it went down (literally). And we got to watch one girl out of five turn around and help Anya pry her mandible from the ground.

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