These thespians aren't quite show-killers -- they just have bad luck!
From Bret Harrison to Joanna Garcia and so many more, we're saluting these bad luck stars. Somebody get them a four-leaf clover and a hit show -- stat!
After getting bitten in the posterior by a snake, MacDonald sends Artest to find the cure from an Indian princess, thus setting up an incredibly old and lame joke.
"You must suck out the poison with your mouth," the princess told Artest.
"She said you're gonna die," Artest told MacDonald.
While I was on the phone talking to Norm MacDonald last week, I heard what sounded like paper crumpling. When I asked him if I was talking to him during his lunch, he said, "No, no, no, no. That noise? No, no, that's just a potato chip bag being opened."
Anyone who's seen Norm over the years -- from his memorable stint as the anchor of 'Weekend Update' on 'SNL,' his late-'90s sitcom 'Norm,' silly movies like 'Dirty Work' or his stand-up act -- knows how funny he would make that exchange.
Norm just doesn't give a crap, whether it's about being interviewed by reporters or talk show hosts, starring in a sitcom, or any of the other trappings of show business. He just cares about comedy, done his way. It's been a pretty successful formula, given how long he's hung around.
Norm's approach to comedy can be seen in his new Comedy Central series, 'Sports Show With Norm MacDonald,' which premiered last Tuesday. It's essentially 'Weekend Update' with a sports theme: Norm tells jokes about the week's sports "headlines," mixed with taped segments and commentary. And, like with 'Weekend Update,' it's sometimes even funnier when a joke doesn't land than when it does. Norm wouldn't have it any other way.
His unique take and quirky sense of humor is rampant as he rips apart the sports world, characters and news with the same bite he took out of O.J. Simpson on a weekly basis. But now he has more time to get even more surreal and ridiculous.
While he thought at first they should maybe not talk about it then, he ultimately couldn't resist. "Hey Don, have you talked to Frank lately?" he asked Rickles.
"Yeah, I saw him last week," Rickles replied. "There was a lot of this!" At this point, Rickles mimicked spitting up and drooling. "It's a lot of me with my head two inches from Frank's face going 'I'm not Barbara!'"
"I'm from Canada, we've got a queen, she lives in England," McDonald told Jon Stewart. "I swear to God I can get two or three dozen buddies of mine, we can go over to Buckingham Palace, take over."
"I would totally do that with you," Stewart offered.
It might be more a matter of the tactics he used in deducing where to bet, though we're sure there are gamblers out there with stranger methods.
MacDonald's strategy in one situation was to follow the mafia guy with the attaché case full of $100,000 chips. The guy put $750,000 on a 4:1 underdog in a boxing match.
Good news, then: Registration is officially open for the very first season of Simon Cowell's 'The X Factor.' Though the complete rules aren't posted yet, Fox's site is officially open for wannabe pop stars to register to audition.
Soloists and groups are welcome, and there is no age cutoff. The only requirements are that contestants are at least 12 years old by March 1, 2011, they're U.S. citizens, and they don't have a current record deal.
In other TV news ...
• Norm Macdonald is heading back to television. The former 'Saturday Night Live' cast member will host a sports/comedy show on Comedy Central. [Deadline]
• NBC's 'REM' pilot, from 'Lone Star' creator Kyle Killen, is coming together. 'Eclipse' director David Slade is reportedly being courted to direct, and '24' showrunner Howard Gordan might come on board. The show is described as an 'Inception'-like drama. [Variety, Vulture]
• 'Teen Mom' Amber Portwood is now allowed to have contact with her baby daddy, Gary Shirley. A court order still bars them from having their daughter around when they are together, but a judge lifted the previous no-contact order. [E! Online]
Too young to remember Matt Frewer's babbling blonde digital hipster? Allow me to play professor: In the mid-'80s, Frewer (you know, that guy) played a strange, spastic (and sarcastic) computer-animated Coca Cola pitchman and music video host that lived inside of your TV. He frightened young children and hypnotized susceptible nerds into guzzling Coke by the gallon.
Perhaps as a meta-comment on his own existence, his creators produced an insane cyberpunk TV movie starring Max that satirized TV marketing, the media, politics, and everything else worth satirizing.
Guess MacDonald hasn't heard the news?
Oh well, it's the thought that counts.
The first will be a multi-camera, half-hour comedy with NBC entitled 'Sausagefest,' starring Norm Macdonald. The show's premise is set around two twentysomething guys and their fathers; Macdonald plays a misogynistic divorced guy, and the other character is a widow. Heald described it as "two odd couples going on simultaneously."
Yesterday FX announced their fall premiere dates along with the news that an untitled new half-hour comedy would be launched and paired with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Nothing else was announced about this yet-to-be-named series, but thanks to our reader Jared, we now have an idea of what it may be:
The Norm MacDonald Reality Show.
Nothing has come down from FX regarding this in terms of a pilot greenlight or series pick up, but according to Norm himself? He seems to think it's a go.
The most recent incarnation of the sketch was no exception. In fact, it built on the solid foundation that lay before it by casting Tom Hanks as a clueless himself and bringing back Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds. MacDonald's appearance was funny not just because he does a scary good Reynolds, but I also like to think that every time he returns to the show, Don Ohlmeyer cries a little inside.
As much as there was to laugh at in the sketch, a tiny but hilarious joke seeped through the cracks and no one seemed to spot it -- until now. I have found the missing joke from last month's Jeopardy! sketch, thanks to my keen eyes, my intrepid nose and my ever-widening butt.
(S34E23) Wow. Way to go, Will Ferrell. Maybe they should just bring back Saturday Night Live alumni for season finales from now on, because this episode was spectacular. Ferrell brought back some old favorites and a slew of famous faces, from the familiar to the inexplicable, including Amy Poehler, Tom Hanks, Anne Hathaway and Artie Lange. Here are some video highlights from the evening (Hulu vids are US only. Sorry, kids... you can also watch these videos at NBC's website).
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