Nurse Linda
Nip/Tuck: Lulu Grandiron

(S05E12) "There are seven signs of the apocalypse, right? Not two?" - Christian
One of the things that I've always enjoyed about Nip/Tuck is the way that Sean and Christian are constantly compared to each other. No matter how much they fight, no matter how much the writing may lead you to believe that they clash, no matter how much you juxtapose them in any number of varying scenarios, they always turn out looking far more similar than different. This episode was a prime example.
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Nip/Tuck: Kyle Ainge

(S05E11) "Mommy's not coming back because Daddy killed her." - Christian
Um... wow. I'm never going to a Build-A-Bear Workshop ever again. I'll come back to that later, but let's touch on the theme of this episode first: cannibalism. There's a topic that Nip/Tuck hasn't tackled before and Ryan Murphy and Co. didn't hold back either. From the teacher who bites her Kindergarten students, to the metaphors of Hollywood agents eating you alive, to the newlywed couple that actually... ate each other, all the bases were covered. Who's hungry?
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Nip/Tuck: Rachel Ben Natan

(S05E09) "I was never in any danger of being drugged by the gays." - Freddy
After a month off, Nip/Tuck is back. Only 14 of this season's 22 episodes were finished pre-WGA Strike, so it makes sense that FX threw that mini hiatus in there. I was really looking forward to this episode, and even though I liked it, there was still a lot of stuff that just didn't feel fresh to me. Recycled is probably more accurate. I love this show, but c'mon... Sean and Christian fighting over Julia is really getting old.
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Nip/Tuck: Duke Collins

(S05E08) "Your promises are sh*t, Matt." - Sean
They really are, aren't they? Matt is pretty much full of it, most of the time. Granted he escaped death here, but when you consider his track record (white supremacists, transvestites, Scientology, foreskin removal), it's pretty safe to assume that he'll get wrapped up in something else before too long. That's why I found it so amusing when Sean apologized and Matt said he just really needed to grow up and stop being Sean's "child." Why? So he can graduate to more adult scheming? He's there already! Last I checked, you don't see too many eleven year olds cooking meth and raising a child with a former porn star. Matt has always led a screwed up life, so it's not as if any of this comes as a surprise. Fortunately, the rest of this Christmas themed episode took the torch from previous Nip/Tuck holiday installments and the results were hilarious.
Nip/Tuck: Dr. Joshua Lee

(S05E07) "The Celtics are good again!" - Dr. Joshua Lee
Yes. Yes they are. Besides the fact that I'm a huge Boston fan and absolutely loved that line, this was a fantastic episode to boot. Honestly, it might be the best of the season thus far. We're actually half way through the chunk of completed episodes (14 were wrapped before the strike hit) and it looks like this season is finally going somewhere. Up until now, it's been a lot of "we're in LA, so let's take advantage of that" plots. But now, we're seeing some real serious stuff take root. And by serious, I mean old men who have been abducted by aliens.
Nip/Tuck: Everett Poe

(S05E03) "Are you comparing the birth of your children to me shitting in a hot tub?" - Kate
I really don't know what Sean thinks he's doing. Sure, Kate seems nice. She's beautiful, smart, and funny too. But could you really find it in yourself to stay with someone who craps in a hot tub while you're trying to make out with them? It might sound shallow, but that definitely counts as a defining moment that should at least make you question the relationship. Kate has way too much emotional baggage and with the way Sean's life has gone, the last thing he needs is a crazy chick. Christian is right. Sean sure can pick 'em.
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Nip/Tuck: Joyce & Sharon Monroe

(S05E02) "No matter how old I get, these champagne cups seem to be frozen in time." - Fiona
Let the Hollywood exploitation begin! Two episodes into the new season and Ryan Murphy and Co. are already taking advantage of Nip/Tuck's new location. Competing Marilyn Monroe impersonators is something we would have never seen had Sean and Christian decided to stay in Miami. Now that they're out west, I'm quite sure that this will be the first in a long line of Tinseltown degenerates looking for ways to "enhance" themselves and make an extra buck.
Nip/Tuck: Carly Summers (season premiere)
(S05E01) "I feel like I'm trying to sell semen at a whore house." - Christian
Life just ain't easy for Sean McNamara and Christian Troy. They moved out to LA thinking it would bring them a fresh start. Sean had just put a messy divorce with Julia to bed. Christian had backed out of his engagement to Michelle. They needed a new beginning. After pouring all their money into a new state-of-the-art Rodeo Drive operation and recovery facility, what do they have to show for it? Nothing. Saying that you "almost" did some work on Joan Rivers isn't exactly a great resume when no one has heard of you.
The set-up was to be expected. Of course it wasn't going to be easy. Everyone is a plastic surgeon in Hollywood. But it's been two months since they switched coasts and the money is running thin. That's where this season of Nip/Tuck draws its plot from and watching Sean and Christian crack the secrets of their new celebrity infested locale is plenty of fun for us viewers. I think we've got a good season in store.
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