There are a few definitive signs that you have become an icon in television news: getting a blog dedicated solely to your ties, winning an "Auto-Tune the News" award, and bringing the world the hilarious tale of an exploding whale.

Last week, Fox News' "No Spin" pundit Bill O'Reilly was cemented into fame when Sesame Street unveiled their "Spill O'Reilly," the newest talking head on the "Grouch News Network" that includes such greats as Walter Cranky, Dan Rather-not and Sally Messy Yuckayel.

This got me thinking...

Sit a kid in front of a TV for an hour a day and a parent is bound to find something that offends them, other than the fact that plopping impressionable minds in front of a TV unsupervised is considered "good parenting."

Sesame Street is no stranger to controversy. Critics, cynics and crybabies have called out the show on everything from questionable behavior to the ambiguous situations...of puppets. Of course, all of these complaints and cackling criticisms just scratch the surface of a much bigger issue that has largely gone unaddressed: the total loss of our sanity and grasp on reality.

So as we look back at the last 40 years of television's greatest children's show, we see some speed bumps along the way. These are the ones that caused the greatest loss of tire pressure.

Everyone on Sesame Street is cheery and happy and beaming with cheery happiness, but all that internal sunshine has blinded from the reason why Oscar is such a grouch.

Finally, Oscar finds the gumption to tell everyone on Sesame Street why he's such a big ol' grouch.

WARNING: This video contains language some people might find offensive. So if you're within ear shot of your boss and don't like it when he gets all mad and fires you, use the headphones, please.

Poor Oscar the Grouch. Not even PBS' ombudsman will cut him a break. No wonder he's so grouchy. Well that and he lives in a garbage can. That would make me more than a little perturbed.

A clip of a two-year episode of Sesame Street popped up on YouTube thanks to conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart's on his Big Hollywood blog in which Grundgetta, Oscar's girlfriend, makes a crack about "POX News" that sounds very close to "FOX News." PBS' ombudsman Michael Getler said while the name could be construed as a "clever and appropriate title" to the "Grouch News Network," the joke about the reference "should have been resisted.

I was shocked when I saw it. Oscar the Grouch has a frigging girlfriend?!?


[via Popeater]

If the very thought of the fledgling economy makes you just a little bit sad, get some Kleenex and a shoulder to cry on because you're about to bawl your eyes out.

If you are the kind of heartless bastard who won't cry at the discovery of this news, you should. Get a fork, poke yourself in the eyes, and let nature take its course.

The Sesame Workshop, the non-profit organization that created the world's greatest kids show in the history of whatever, is laying off a huge chunk of its staff.

Where would we be without the hallowed television Christmas special? We would be engaged in enthralling conversations with relatives who like to give the backstory about the gall bladder operation pictures they still carry in their wallet. We would be playing defense against every breakable item in the house while the neighbor's kids get enough sugar in their systems to power the Space Shuttle. We would not only have to muster the courage to taste Grandma's homemade rum and Kahula fruitcake, but also to pretend that we like it without our stomach turning inside out, crawling up our esophagus and out of our mouth.

Even if those scenarios will be true for you on Dec. 25, I offer you my pity as my Christmas gift. Plus, you still would rather spend it listening to ol' Uncle Hernia Scar than watching one of these holiday hams.