Attention, TV Squad readers, my friends and fellow television fans, it's time to announce the winner for The Excellence in Outsourcing Award, that is, the foreign actor who possesses the best American accent. There were many worthy nominees, but the overwhelming winner was House, MD himself, actor Hugh Laurie. That Englishman, one of her majesty's loyal subjects, has been making us all believe that he's just a Jersey boy. As Dr. Gregory House of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, he sounds like he was born in south Jersey, spent his summers in Asbury Park, and is as much a Garden Stater as Bruce Springsteen and Tony Soprano.
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(S01E12) We're back to the Monster of the Week episodes and this one's a doozy. This time the perp is a pyromaniac who can start fires with his mind or something. That's bad news for Mulder who is deathly afraid, of all things, fire. Oh, and Mulder's investigating the case with his ex-girlfriend (Phoebe) from Oxford.

The episode opens in England with a gardener smiling as his boss suddenly explodes into flames and dies on his front lawn. The next time we see the gardener, he has dropped his accent and is posing as a caretaker for an American home where a British family is moving in. He really hates the British aristocracy.

Weird TV news of the day: British farmers are protesting - and I mean really protesting, with signs and everything - the use of the word "couch potato." They think it makes the potato seem like an "unhealthy" food. They held the protest in Oxford, England, because the protestors had written a letter to the Oxford English Dictionary asking that they reconsider their listing of the word and the definition they used: "a person who spends leisure time passively or idly sitting around, especially watching television or video tapes." They want the term taken out and replaced with the term "couch slouch." But doesn't this discriminate against people who slouch? And what if your last name happens to be Slouch? 

By the way, by the above definition, every single person who writes for TV Squad is a couch potato.