There was a great industry joke lobbed at the Hollywood awards machine by the short-lived but loved TV cartoon 'The Critic.' The joke featured a Midwestern farmer and his boy spotting a plane headed to Hollywood.

"Yep, son," the wide-eyed farm says with a big pitchfork in his all-American paw, "on that plane are the people who fill our lives with blockbuster movies, moronic situation comedies, awards shows where awards shows win awards. Get my gun, boy."

If the 82nd Academy Awards takes home an Emmy or even a nomination for their television broadcast, just about every middle American farmer with a sidearm will land on a terror alert watch list and every first class flight from New York to Hollywood will have to divert over the Gulf of Mexico in order to avoid the inevitable strafe of gunfire from America's heartland.

I confess I've written more than my fair share of posts complaining about the never-ending march of paranormal, ghost busting shows haunting TV these days. You know the shows I refer to -- the "documentaries" promising to prove the existence of ghosts without ever finding anything resembling actual proof.

Every time I've written something bemoaning the arrival of another such show, I think it has to be over soon. There can't be another hour of clods stumbling around in night vision and reacting to sights and sounds the audience doesn't get to experience.

But, they keep coming. They keep finding nothing. But, evidently, people keep watching them. Now, we have Ghost Intervention -- running through December. The 4-part docu-series from TLC "chronicles a case manager and a team of women with psychic abilities as they try to help different families who are struggling with paranormal activity in their homes."

The folks at Moviefone's Inside Movies are down in the dumps today. That's because they've posted their list of The 10 Most Depressing Films of 2009. You know, it's not so depressing. In fact, it's hilarious.

Also on Inside Movies today:

There's a list of the 15 Worst Christmas Movies Ever. Ah, 'Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.' Gotta love it.

I've never been big on scary ghost stories -- perhaps I'm still traumatized from my older siblings scaring the crap out of me in my early years. But for some reason, I've found myself watching some of the ghost hunter-type shows on the air right now. I'm actually looking forward to the Oct. 30 live broadcast of Ghost Adventures from the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. Asylums are darn scary even in broad daylight.

Maybe I'm just getting in a Halloween mood. Maybe I need something to jolt my psyche into fast-forward. Whatever the reason, I'm currently into ghosts -- even though I have to believe they're just sitting around laughing with glee over all the people who are out looking for them. I probably won't see Paranormal Activity, though, because I DO want to sleep again, after all. But Extreme Paranormal on A&E will suffice just fine.

The folks at our sister site Cinematical are working hard to give you news and reviews of the best -- and worst -- the silver screen has to offer. Here are some of their musings on the latest blockbusters, indies, and everything in between:

• I have zero interest in the Saw franchise, but Paranormal Activity looks super-creepy. Apparently America agrees with me, because Paranormal Activity beat Saw VI at the box office on Friday.
• I remember renting the 1988 version of The Blob on VHS from our library when I was a kid. Now you can see it for free, just like I did! Except instead of VHS, you can totally watch The Blob on SlashControl.
• Vampires may be the new hot thing, and as Jenna Maroney told us on 30 Rock, werewolves may be next, but after that? Witches are the new hotness.
• I've always felt a kinship with Amelia Earhart, ever since I put on my mom's riding pants, boots, scarf, and a short wig for biography day in the 5th grade. So maybe that's kind of a sad reason to want to see Amelia, but there it is. You can read Cinematical's review of Amelia here.
• Speaking of Amelia Earhart, Cinematical Seven has 7 biopics worthy of their subject. And Amelia isn't the only film on the list featuring Hilary Swank.

If a show like Top Chef never found a meal, would you watch it? If Ice Road Truckers couldn't find snow, would you pay attention?

Yet, every week, paranormal investigation shows like Ghost Hunters or Paranormal State hit the air and unveil the whole pile of absolute squat they found. Now, there's a new contender in the "Hey! Look! We found pretty much nothing!" category with the Discovery Channel's Ghost Lab.

Each week two thick slabs of Texas beef named Brad and Barry Klinge (right) take their Everyday Paranormal investigation team out into the wild haunted yonder. They come armed with their traveling "ghost lab" -- a 24-foot car hauler "capable of providing 200,000 watts of electricity to power audio, video and photo analysis stations; flat-screen televisions and an interactive touch-screen smartboard."

The folks at our sister site Cinematical are working hard to give you news and reviews of the best -- and worst -- the silver screen has to offer. Here are some of their musings on the latest blockbusters, indies, and everything in between:

• "I mean, if we can have a bajillion stripper movies, can't we have a least a handful or 50 library flicks that not only entertain, but also do great things for the communities across the country?" I couldn't have said it better myself. Check out how a movie starring Parker Posey may save a library.
• Chris Rock was on Oprah today talking to women about his new documentary Good Hair. It sounds absolutely fascinating to me, and is already stirring up a lot of Controversy. Check out the review on Cinematical.
• I love a good scary movie, and it seems as though the upcoming Paranormal Activity fits the bill. Cinematical interviews writer-director Oren Peli.
• The movie Burlesque sounds absolutely insane: Cristina Aguilera, Cher, Stanley Tucci, and now Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell has joined the cast.
• Speaking of the lovely Kristen Bell, her movie, Couples Retreat, opens this weekend. Check out the review on Cinematical.