Paul Mecurio

"Red Eye" (Weeknights, 3 AM ET Fox News) took on an report which suggests the proliferation of pornography in Iraq is a good sign for the future of the embattled nation.

"Apparently porn, in this theory, reflects how security has improved," host Greg Gutfeld explained. "When there's more porn, the world is safer -- I believe that Benjamin Franklin said that." (Ed note: he didn't.)

Singer Andrew WK had a sophisticated take on the theory: "I think that an oppressed and repressed society is going to go through a natural explosion of interest in things that they didn't have access to, and sexuality is an important phase for any culture to move through...We've got to embrace it."

But don't worry, comedian Paul Mecurio kept things lowbrow:

"Who knew that Jenna Jamison would be the key to Middle East peace," he declared. "Isn't this what we fought for, for them to have the freedom so we could objectify women and make money from them the way that true Americans do?"