Sarah Silverman, the star of The Sarah Silverman Program, is fu*king Jimmy Kimmel, the host of ABC's late night talk show Jimmy Kimmel Live. At least we assume so, considering they've been dating for years and kidding about their love story in public -- remember her video, "I'm fu*king Matt Damon," which he countered with "I'm fu*king Ben Affleck"? These two are a fun couple and seem to really have it together. However, don't look for Ms. Silverman to ever become Mrs. Kimmel.

Simply stated, Sarah Silverman told People.com that she's vowed to never marry Jimmy Kimmel. Nothing personal, Jimmy, she just likes things exactly as they are and doesn't want to muck it up with rice, flowers, lace, cake, invitations and all the other wedding malarkey.

Clearly, little Sarah never fantasized about her parents walking her down the aisle, standing under the chuppa with her groom, and seeing the man of her dreams shatter a wine glass beneath his foot, all elements of a typical nice Jewish wedding for a nice Jewish girl like Sarah.