Silly me. Instead of watching Johnny Depp channel Keith Richards play 'Captain Jack Sparrow' in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, I watched celebrities make terrible jokes and thank people I've never heard of. I forgot that, in rumored retaliation for not nominating Lost or Desperate Housewives for Emmys, ABC aired that pirate movie. The good one.

It appears I'm not the only one who forgot about the Pirates. Last night's Emmy telecast averaged 16.1 million viewers, a 14% slip from last year, but still the highest-rated program on television at that time. Pirates averaged about 10 million viewers.

In case you're one of the few Americans who didn't see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest last weekend, you can always wait until 2008 to see it for free. That's when USA Network has the rights to air it on television. The network also has the first cable rights to the far superior first movie, Curse of the Black Pearl, which airs tonight.

I saw Pirates last weekend and it was so long and boring that I can't even imagine watching the damn thing with commercial breaks. By the way, you should check out Ask a Ninja's review of the movie on YouTube. Hilarious and dead-on.

Jon Stewart started off by reflecting on his day thus far... He woke up, had an egg and cheese breakfast, a nice cappuccino, bantered politely at work, sat down at his desk, turned on the TV, and realized that World War III has begun. "After that, the day is kind of a blur..." He said that he was feeling anxious, sad, scared, and hopeful... with just a hint of ennui. But mostly just fucking scared.