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July 24, 2014

Purple Rain

Super Bowl viewers threatened by Prince's gigantic...

by Julia Ward, posted Feb 7th 2007 10:25AM
Prince Super Bowl PhallusAmerica - always threatened by the black man's sexuality. The debate hasn't gone there yet, but just you wait. An AP story was released yesterday that strings together multiple reports of viewers who were shocked, shocked to see Prince's "demonic guitar phallus," as it was described by Stephen Colbert, projected in shadow against a large sheet of fabric during the Super Bowl halftime show.

These same viewers also giggle at the word "dooty," think a man using a microphone resembles an act of fellatio and that, from the air, Dolphin Stadium looks like a vagina. Folks, you can't rock out without your cock out so get over it already. You're just lucky this was Prince circa 2007 and not Prince circa 1984 when the guitar he took on tour would ejaculate water at the climax of "Let's Go Crazy." He kept his ass covered. What more do you want?

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TV's Top 5!: Mother Nature watches the Super Bowl

by Elizabeth Chan, posted Feb 5th 2007 2:27PM

Prince bringing on the Purple Rain Is Prince God? Did he have a deal with Mother Nature or something? Does CBS have that much money to be able to be able to influence meteorology?

Obviously the only explanation of the situation is that Mother Nature loves Prince and watches The Super Bowl. She was hell bent on not making the Kevin Federline the top news of the Super Bowl, and wanted to provide her man Prince with some ethereal stage props.

How many of you were wondering if he would even play "Purple Rain?" How many of you even doubted it after he played his crazy rendition of the Foo Fighters' "Best of You?"

How many of you were still holding onto hope he would play "1999?" I was pretty pleased with his performance and less impressed with his random and particularly unattractive dancers.

But forgive me Mother Nature if you should strike me with lightning for actually liking...

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