Even though this video was done for Funny or Die, I have no doubt that Perez Hilton really would like to replace Simon Cowell on 'American Idol.' I don't think that's going to happen, but if it does, that's the moment that 'Idol' becomes unwatchable. Hilton is a cancer on the American pop culture landscape. Is this what passes for humor now?

[via The Wrap]

Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of FOX's 'American Idol?' Not just the typical questions like "what is Simon Cowell really like" and "does Ryan Seacrest's breath really smell minty," I mean the really important questions, like are the contestants ever denied bathroom privileges?

That's one of the many questions answered in this very long 'American Idol' piece at The Daily Beast. Lots of past contestants on the show (including season five winner Taylor Hicks - remember him?) dish about what goes on behind the scenes of the show when it gets to Hollywood. How are songs chosen? Who rooms with whom? Does everyone really get along? Do they sleep?

Jackie Tohn, who was on the show last year, says "the head games start right away. You never have any idea why anything is happening." So now we know: 'American Idol' is just like 'Lost!'

Having waited tables or shoveled cow poo before becoming pop stars, famous people often don't care to rehash history. But when 'American Idol' is the vehicle that launched that superstar career, it's difficult to obscure the past with the sparkle of a Grammy and the gleam of platinum records, especially when the show's audition clips are some of the most fun viral videos out there.

Former 'AI' contestants like chart toppers Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and David Cook and Broadway babes Fantasia Barrino and Taylor Hicks once had to audition, too. Their tryouts are time capsules of raw talent that make you wonder how these artists ever wallowed in the same pool of hopefuls as William Hung, "Bikini Girl" and some of this season's worst auditions. Plus, watching Simon Cowell discredit Jordin Sparks during her audition because of her "weird smile" and "cutesy" delivery -- and knowing that he would eat his words when she won season 6 -- is priceless.

Take a look at the audition videos of all the 'American Idol's and see if you can spot the birth of a winner in each one.

2009 was a big year for American Idol. After airing for seven wildly successful seasons with three judges, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul, producers decided to throw a fourth judge into the mix, bringing songwriter Kara DioGuardi on board for season eight. It was a controversial move, and to the surprise of very few people, it went ... poorly.

The judges, who had spent seven seasons learning the rhythm of the show, were suddenly forced to contend with a fourth voice. As none of these folks were exactly shrinking violets to begin with, this led to a lot of jockeying for the mic, which in turn wasted a lot of time. It wasted so much time, in fact, that critiques would get cut off, the show would run long, and at times, judges wouldn't be allowed to speak at all.

So at the end of this harried season, it was no surprise that someone would be shown the door. Many thought that it would be newbie judge Kara DioGuardi. Instead, it was Paula Abdul who was given the boot, and replaced by music legend ... Ellen DeGeneres?

If Kara DioGuardi has her way, she and Ellen DeGeneres will be hitting it off like franks and beans, peanut butter and jelly, frick and frack... two peas in a pod. At at an industry conference in New York, Kara was musing about the upcoming season of American Idol in which DioGuardi and DeGeneres will be sharing the judges' table together -- with Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell, of course.

"I'm hoping the chemistry with Ellen will be great -- and a great start to the season," said Kara.

With that in mind, Kara's going to sleep on the couch at Ellen's house until they're bosom buddies. ...Kidding! But Kara will try to spend some time with Ellen during December when they both have some time off from their busy schedules.

If the news that Ellen DeGeneres was going to become a judge on American Idol had broken a year ago, I would have been totally psyched. Hopefully she would replace Paula, and bring some much-needed humor to the show (humor that isn't mean-spirited or allegedly pill-addled, that is). But now that Ellen will be the new fourth judge on Idol, the news comes as somewhat as a disappointment.

I've been a huge fan of Ellen since her stand-up days, so I'm all for her showing up anywhere. I also think her purpose of bringing a "fan's perspective" to the show is a good idea on the producers' part. But does Paula need to be the only judge Ellen replaces?

Oh sure, now that she's not there anymore, they miss her. Sounds like a familiar story, but this is American Idol. Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell are missing Paula Abdul at the judge's table. They're in the midst of the audition process, using guest judges like Neil Patrick Harris and Kristin Chenoweth, and Randy confessed that he's looked over for Paula during the process and wondered, "Where's my P?"

Simon, who seems to have a lexicon all his own, said that he misses Paula, too. But in his bizarre way with words, he compared the new Idol atmosphere as different, like "comparing a carrot to a banana."

Bo Bice, who was the runner-up on American Idol a few years ago, says that FOX shouldn't let Paula Abdul go because she's part of what makes the show great .

To be fair to the other judges on the show, Bice does say that if they got rid of either Randy or Simon it would be equally devastating. I don't quite think this is true of Jackson, Paula and Simon really are the heart of the show (along with Ryan Seacrest).

If this is true (and it's still in the rumor stage), it's not a big shock: Paula Abdul is thinking about coming back to American Idol.

TMZ is reporting that Abdul is seriously considering coming back to the show she recently left because they didn't offer her enough money. They're also reporting that Abdul is ticked because the show is giving Victoria Beckham $275,000 an episode for her guest judge stint.

Yesterday we had video of Paula Abdul's weird live interview with a Seattle TV station, and here's another American Idol classic: Paula judging a song that contestant Jason Castro didn't even sing. I love Ryan Seacrest's look offstage that says "what the hell is going on?"

"You stayed true to who you are, Paula. You were a real superstar up on that dais. And you looked great ... sometimes. Other times you looked like you poured yourself into a dress too small for Mary-Kate Olsen, but I digress. You were a little pitchy at times. Did I say pitchy? I meant tipsy, but we're still so proud of you.

"You were just so cute I wanted to squeeze you, pinch your head off and dangle it from my car's rear-view mirror. All of the judges are just so talented and amazing at what they do, and the competition won't be the same without you. But don't worry, Paula. This isn't the end for you. This is the beginning of your career. You can do anything you want because you are a star. Touchdown!"

It was the tweet heard 'round the world.

Last night, Paula Abdul announced she was leaving 'American Idol' via Twitter: "With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to #IDOL."

Fox confirmed her departure, stating the network was "saddened" but wished her the best. While fellow judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi have yet to comment, host Ryan Seacrest tweeted that he couldn't "imagine the panel without" her.

Wait ... hold the phone, er, Twitter. Is this really happening? Because if Paula truly does not return to 'American Idol,' the show will be ruined. It's done.

Paula is an integral part of the show -- and Fox is stupid to let her go. Here are five reasons why 'Idol' will never be the same after Paula's departure ...

American Idol fans might remember Alexis Cohen, who auditioned for the show twice. She was hit and killed by a car a few days ago and the police have arrested the driver for reckless driving and leaving the scene of an accident. Here's video of one of her auditions and her blow up after being rejected by Simon, Paula, and Randy. I thought she had a pretty good voice. Maybe not for Idol but for a rock band.

American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert is on the cover of the new Rolling Stone, and he reveals a lot of information. Eight things I learned:

1. He's gay.
2. He's "glamboyant." (To quote Liz Lemon, that's a thing now?)
3. He doesn't tuck.
4. He had a crush on Kris Allen.
5. He has only dressed in drag three or four times.
6. He's not a civil rights leader.
7. He had a "psychedelic experience" at Burning Man
8. Seriously, he's gay.

Get on your craziest costume and ask your mom again if you really, really can sing because it's time to start the process of making an ass of yourself on national television all over again. Only this time, the crazies who go to the first round of auditions won't get the chance to sing in front of the judges until a callback sometime later this summer. That's because while they want to get the audition process under way, American Idol doesn't know if they're bringing back Paula Abdul or Kara DioGuardi.

I wonder if this move will keep some of the crazies away. Now you're looking at two entirely separate trips just to look stupid on television. Will it still be worth it? Sure, the local crazies will still come out, but what about the travelers? It is interesting to note that Idol is changing the process up this much due to contract questions. That must mean that they're really not sure about one or both of the women's return to the show. DioGuardi was on a one-year deal, while Abdul's multi-year contract ended this season.