There have been three constants in this late stage of Joan Rivers' career. First, her project will involve her daughter Melissa. Second, she will work for E! Entertainment. Third, it will involve interviews on the red carpet of some awards show. All three of these are true in her new series of Fashion Police specials for E! Although in this case, Melissa Rivers is a producer and won't generally be appearing on screen.

I remember her best as the voice of Dot Matrix in Spaceballs. I did watch her Comedy Central Roast and found it to be lackluster. After all the plastic surgery, I'm surprised she can even move her mouth anymore. It's frozen in a grin like Jack Nicholson's Joker.

I'm fascinated to know why Joan Rivers' red carpet interviews are so popular that E! keeps asking her back. Does anybody out there watch and like the interviews? Isn't it like watching a train wreck?

First they were kicked to the curb by E! Entertainment Television, and now the same thing has happened with the TV Guide Channel: Joan and Melissa Rivers have been let go by the network and replaced by Lisa Rinna, star of Dancing with the Stars and various soaps.

Joan has a lot to say about what happened, but is keeping quiet until a new deal is finalized, says her spokesperson.

I love the press release from TV Guide Channel President Ryan O'Hara. Let me translate his remarks:

11:01: OK, I'm ready for bed. But before I go, I'd like to thank my family, my friends, my agent, my lawyers, Jeff Zucker, Les Moonves, the cast, the crew, my computer, my fingers, and, most importantly, the makers of Tanqueray gin. Without your help I could never have live blogged this tonight. Oh, they're playing the music...goodnight! 

10:59: Outstanding Comedy Series: Everybody Loves Raymond? Seriously, Everybody Loves Raymond?! What kind of a world is it when the 9th season of a show wins for Best Comedy over a show like Arrested Development? 

10:55: Outstanding Drama Series: Lost! 

10:54: Emmy Idol Winner: Donald Trump and Megan Mullally for Green Acres. Yikes.

Just a quick reminder that I'm going to blog the Emmy Awards live tonight, starting at 6pm Eastern. Why 6 instead of 8, when the awards actually start (on CBS)? Because if I did that I'd miss the best part: the red carpet arrivals!

The only decision left to make: do I blog Star Jones' red carpet interviews on E! or Joan and Melissa's over on the TV Guide Channel? But that's like asking, "which would you rather have, a root canal or hemorrhoids," so I'll do both. That's why God made remote controls. Plus, I'm a masochist. 

Sure, we all love to watch rich people congratulate one another for three and a half hours, but wouldn't it be even better if you could actually be at the Oscars this year? Well, if you go here on Monday you can fill out an application that just might gain you a bleacher seat along the red carpet where you can yell at actors or perhaps even get some knitting done. Get to the site quick, though, cause the forms are only available until September 26.