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Best TV of the '00s: Celebrities
More of our best of the decade coverage, which started on Tuesday. You can read the other posts at the link above. Here, we talk about a very aught-like phenomenon: the cult of celebrity.
There is no clearer metaphor for the concept of being a celebrity than the Hollywood Walk of Fame. You work hard to chase your dream and achieve a career for yourself by making your name known to the masses of the universe.
Then when you've grabbed that star and become a regular fixture in the flash bulb of the press' cameras, how does the public honor your tireless toil and efforts? They throw you down on a sidewalk and walk all over you.
In the Aughts, however, a new celebrity oozed out of the primordial muck. A celebrity that still suffered the slings and arrows of the tabloid press and a complete loss of the right to privacy, but achieved their stardom by simply cutting out all that pesky hard work and tireless effort nonsense. These are the celebrities who became famous by simply because they were famous.
Cowell out: Judge leaving American Idol next year?
If you hate Simon Cowell, you'll only have one year left to coat your TV with a fine layer of anger spittle during American Idol. The judge's brother, Tony Cowell, leaked the news on his podcast that Cowell's people are preparing a press release announcing that 2010 will be the final year Cowell sits in the judging seat on AI.
But don't celebrate the death of the lumbering reality TV giant yet, all you AI lovers and haters. Cowell is stepping away from AI to focus on the importing an American version of The X Factor. So who should AI replacing the acerbic judge or would a rabid monkey that uses sign language suffice?
Susan Boyle's Britain's Got Talent appearance most watched thing on YouTube in '09
This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who doesn't live in a cave or still have dial-up Internet... or both. Although given the economy these days, I'm sure I can forgive people who still live in caves. Susan Boyle's breakthrough performance on Britain's Got Talent garnered the most eyeballs on YouTube in 2009 with a whopping 120 million views.
Sorry, dog that's stuck in a toilet as cruel owner films you. Maybe next year.
Finally, a Simon Cowell vote we can all (cough) get behind
Mr. Methane, a familiar guest to fans of The Howard Stern Show, is the world's only (thank Holy Christ) performing flatulist and he took a turn at the mic on Britain's Got Talent. Anyone want to guess if he made it through to the final round? If you guessed wrong, please get out of the gene pool and take a shower immediately.
Want to smell like Simon Cowell?
If you've ever wanted to smell exactly like America's most hated man (please get some kind of psychiatric help immediately), now's your chance. Simon Cowell, the American Idol and X-Factor judge, will have his own brand of cologne along with the rest of the X-Factor judges, Louis Walsh, Dannii Minogue and Cheryl Cole.
A specific release date hasn't been picked, although it's said they will hit the stores by Christmas. It also looks as though they will only be released in the United Kingdom. And America wept.
Simon Cowell's awful Wonderdog song defies description
If you're still scratching your head over Paula Abdul's sudden departure from American Idol, here's a theory. Maybe she had a hard time taking extreme criticism from a man responsible for unleashing (heh) one of the most godawful songs on the planet.
Back in the early 80's, a young Simon Cowell helped bring "Ruff Mix," a techno tune consisting entirely of dogs barking, to the music world's increasingly tone deaf ears. He was so committed to making the song a success that he was even willing to go on national television dressed as the song's main character, Wonderdog, to promote it.
Incorrect YouTube posts cast shadow over Boyle's defeat
In the never-ending soap opera bubbling around Susan Boyle, there are now multiple reports that an incorrect phone number issued on fan-produced YouTube promotional videos might have helped do in the Scottish singer on Britain's Got Talent.Producers denied the whole mess Thursday, but reports say YouTube clips made by Boyle's suddenly erupting fan base showed the voting phone numbers for her rivals. If Boyle fans called those numbers, she didn't receive the votes -- creating the possibility that she fell into second place behind the dance group Diversity by user error.
So, those fans are screaming McFoul and calling for everything from an investigation to a new vote. None of the above will happen, as producers already indicated the final result will stand.
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