The first big Super Bowl shocker came early tonight, in a CBS promo, no less. The Super Bowl is on CBS, so it's no surprise we get a shot of David Letterman on a couch in his Colts jersey, but here's where things get weird: he's at a Super Bowl party with Oprah, and he's complaining about how it's the worst Super Bowl party ever.

We then see Jay freakin' Leno, who says that Letterman is only saying that because he's there. Letterman then mocks Leno, and then we see that this whole thing is a promo for 'The Late Show with David Letterman.'

How in the hell did this happen?

Will Rogers once said, "Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."

And how do you that? That's easy. Just sprinkle in some sex! It's nature's negotiator.

Of course, it's not as simple as it sounds. These days, people are easier to offend than Catholic nuns and the FCC has made it nearly impossible to advertise products the way God intended (i.e. naked girls with abnormally large boobs writhing and moaning over the awesomeness of Flonase). So an even subtler art of using sex to get your money lies within this deeply layered process. Here are the best of the best and the worst of the worst.