And how do you that? That's easy. Just sprinkle in some sex! It's nature's negotiator.
Of course, it's not as simple as it sounds. These days, people are easier to offend than Catholic nuns and the FCC has made it nearly impossible to advertise products the way God intended (i.e. naked girls with abnormally large boobs writhing and moaning over the awesomeness of Flonase). So an even subtler art of using sex to get your money lies within this deeply layered process. Here are the best of the best and the worst of the worst.
The Huffington Post has compiled a list of some of the more outrageous banned Super Bowl ads including the steamy PETA "veggie sex" ad and this ad for Smartbeep that has been floating around the Internet for years but didn't know until now that it was supposed to air during the Super Bowl. Thank you, Internet. You're the teacher that none of my teachers could ever be.
Does the network choose a comedy, like NBC would do with 'Friends' after Super Bowl XXX, one that featured guest stars like Brooke Shields, Chris Isaak, Jean-Claude Van Damme and more? Or does CBS do what Fox did after Super Bowl XLII -- aka the greatest Super Bowl ever, featuring the New York Giants upsetting the undefeated Patriots -- and air an hour-long drama like 'House'?
Whatever CBS decides, we implore them not to complete the trifecta and air a third post-Super Bowl episode of Survivor. It's time for some fresh blood.
Comcast's probe into the Super Bowl porno snafu has officially become an FBI probe. A Fox affiliate in Tucson reported that the cable provider has asked the FBI to conduct their own probe into the 30 seconds of pornography that aired during Super Bowl XLIII.
Special Agent Manuel Johnson of the Phoenix FBI field office would only confirm for TV Squad that the probe is still ongoing.
(NOTE: The following post talks about my favorite commercials of this past Super Bowl. There are absolutely no spoilers in this post. That is, unless you didn't watch the Super Bowl, recorded it for future viewing, and have decided to ignore every single other media outlet, as well as friends and family so no one tells you who won. If that's the case, don't blame us for your extremely poor time management skills.)
Well, it's all over except for the pack-up, the clean-up and the over-analyzing of the analyzing of the game that was actually played in Tampa. Super Bowl XLIII is now in the history books and so are its commercials. This year featured some returning companies, some new ones, plenty of NBC promos, and a koala puppet being punched in the face. In other words, a bit of everything. Out of all of them, here are some of my favorites.
(NOTE 2: The embedded videos come courtesy of Hulu. If you cannot view these videos I have linked the commercial titles to another site that you should be able to view.)
Thanks to the Arizona Cardinals' first appearance this weekend, my hometown team, the New Orleans Saints, will now be one of only five left in the NFL that have never made a Super Bowl appearance. Three if you don't count the expansion clubs.
So if you're a Cardinals fan and don't have the stomach to endure their slow, agonizing and inevitable defeat at the hands of the Pittsburgh Steelers, here are some alternative shows you can watch instead of the Super Bowl.
TV Squad Hot Topics
Most Popular Articles
From Our Partners
- 'The X Factor' Season 3: Top 6 Performance Rankings
- 'The Originals': Winners and Losers from 'Reigning Pain in New Orleans'
- The Best of Kevin Tran on 'Supernatural'
- 'American Horror Story: Coven' Recap: Kill Fiona Volume I
- 'Sons of Anarchy': 16 Shocking Moments from 'You Are My Sunshine'
- More From BuddyTV
- 'X Factor': Alex & Sierra on 'Say Something' and Destiny's Child
- ESPN cancels Will Ferrell's 'SportsCenter' appearance, Ron Burgundy reacts
- 'Mob City' premiere: Frank Darabont's noir is nice to look at, but that's about it
- 'Kirstie' premiere: This pedigree should have better comedy
- 'The Tomorrow People' recap: Kidnapping, Dr. Death and John's lies in 'Thanatos'
- More From Zap2it
- What to Watch Tonight: Carrie in Sound of Music, Sherlock's Job Insecurity, Reign Siege and More
- Nashville Recap: Friends in Low Places
- American Horror Story: Coven Recap: Head Case
- The X Factor Top 6 Performance Recap: I Stand Here Waiting for You to Bang the Gong [Updated]
- Scandal's Jeff Perry Talks Blindsided Cyrus, Fitz/ Olivia Roadblocks and the 'Exquisite Hell' Ahead
- More From TVLine