It's report card time. From time to time, the TV Squad Soap Report will take a look at a show and grade it accordingly. This week, we'll look at General Hospital -- you know, sort of take its temperature. To put it bluntly, General Hospital needs some intensive care. The show is suffering from post-dramatic stress disorder, not traumatic, dramatic. I'm speaking specifically of the shooting of Michael Corinthos, Jr.

Intellectually and from a writer's point of view, I understand why Robert Guza, Jr. -- the head writer -- decided to do this story. It's caused a major upheaval in the Jason-Carly-Sonny-Jax quadrangle. The situation he created, for those who haven't been watching, is this: Sonny's new love, Kate, urged Sonny to bring Michael to the coffee warehouse so he could see the legitimate side of his father's business interests and presumably be impressed enough to want to emulate him. Sonny had been worried that Michael was on the path to becoming a mini-mobster.
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• At 8, FOX has a new Cops.
• TLC has a new Moving Up at 8.
• The History Channel is showing the original Planet of the Apes at 8. Huh?
• There's a new Emeril Live on Food Network at 8, focusing on sweet treats, followed by Easter Unwrapped.
• TCM has That Touch of Mink at 8, with Cary Grant and Doris Day.
• Also at 8: Nickelodeon has two new episodes of Ned's Declassified.
• At 9, FOX has a new America's Most Wanted.
• A&E has a new Flip This House at 9.
• At 10, CBS has a new 48 Hours Mystery.
• HGTV has a new Design on a Dime at 10.
• Cartoon Network has two new eps of Naruto at 10.
• At 11, FOX has a new Mad TV with guest Tom Bergeron, followed by a new Talk Show with Spike Feresten.

Check your local TV listings for more.