When you want to conjure up some ratings magic, a special guest star always helps. And if you can get the star to commit for a few episodes during May sweeps, well that's even better. With that in mind, the CW has signed Michelle Trachtenberg for a multi-episode arc on Gossip Girl.

(S19E13)"Young man, I'm going to be on you like a numerator on a denominator" -- Principal Skinner to Donny the informant

It's been a looong time since we had an episode of The Simpsons that focused on that young rapscallion Bart and his status of Prankmaster at Springfield Elementary. Frankly, I was starting to get a bit worried that we wouldn't see one at all this season and that all we would get is one episode after another focusing on Homer and his hi-jinks. Luckily, someone at FOX or the offices of The Simpsons realized this and gave us an installment that not only reignited the feud between Bart and Principal Skinner, but parodied the Martin Scorsese film The Departed. Plus, it was actually a good episode.

(S08E21/S08E22) It's kind of weird that two shows that premiered at just about the same time are ending the same night. The other weird thing is that the first show to end its long run tonight, That '70s Show, couldn't be more different than the other one, Will & Grace. The other difference? That '70s Show didn't try to be any more than it was, which was just a fun half-hour. And the last two episodes didn't stray from that formula: they were light and funny without being overly sentimental.

It's a world gone mad I tell ya. Mad!

Now that everyone is leaving That 70s Show, Wilmer Valderrama is the top guy on the show. And because he's the top guy, he's now going to make $500,000 an episode.

Things I would do for $500,000 a week:

• Eat a live bug
• Watch I Want To Be A Hilton non-stop for one month
• Give up pizza forever